HOUSTON – Ever the techno wrestling geek, Bob Kapur filed his report Twitter-style, giving you short bursts of his wacky life as he heads to Raw on Monday, with waffles (again), an old-school referee, and malls on the agenda.
Mon, Apr 6, 8:27am — Down to the lobby for breakfast. The waffle maker is designed so that the waffles are in the shape of the state of Texas. That’s brilliant.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:39am — Doug does some net research and finds what is described as a great mall near our hotel. We walk in and are greeted with the smell of manure.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:40am — Nope. That’s the smell of the guy sitting on a bench near the entrance way. Doug is banned from doing any further net research.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:47 am — This is the most depressing mall in the world. Every store is either closed or should be. The employees are surprised to see a customer.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:53am — There’s an Easter Bunny for kids to take a picture with. The guy in the ratty, dingy costume is sitting alone, giant head in hands. Sad.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:57am — I buy the “Everything’s Bigger in Texas” shirt from the video for “So Yesterday”, that great song by Hilary Duff. So sue me, I’m a fan.
Mon, Apr 6, 10:13am — Find a FedEx store to box up my Mania chair. Noel left this morning and said the airport has no such facilities and to pack it in advance.
Mon, Apr 6, 11:19am — Go to the Galleria Mall, one of the largest and fanciest in Houston. There’s an ice rink, many high-end stores, and no manure smell.
Mon, Apr 6, 11:22am — There’s a sign for the free parking area; follow it, and it leads you to the exit, as if to say “Can’t afford $3 to park? Leave now, peon.”
Mon, Apr 6, 12:17pm — Every third person in this mall is wearing a wrestling shirt. Many other people in fancy suits and such, looking down on us in disgust.
Mon, Apr 6, 1:33pm — After lunch, call Tommy Fooshee, a long-time referee living in Houston. SLAM! boss Greg Oliver suggested he would be great to meet up with.
Mon, Apr 6, 2:12pm — Pick up Tommy and head to the Armadillo Palace, a nearby restaurant right beside the Goode BBQ place from yesterday.
Mon, Apr 6, 3:04pm — Sitting in the Armadillo Lounge with Tommy, laughing up a storm. He’s great, sharing stories from his multi-decade life in the business.
Mon, Apr 6, 4:09pm — Still there with Tommy. He’s got a great sense of humour, and has some amazing stories. Hopefully my future writeup will do him justice.
Mon, Apr 6, 5:11pm – Disappointed that we have to finish up with Tommy. Drop him off after exchanging contact info and a promise to meet up again in the future.
Mon, Apr 6, 5:22pm — Get in line for RAW. Everyone there heard it would start at 6:30, but it was not to be. We all stand there like idiots for the next hour.
Mon, Apr 6, 5:27pm — Teddy Long is driving in and gets stopped at a red light, right beside where we’re standing in line. Nobody but Doug and I seemed to notice.
Mon, Apr 6, 5:53pm — There’s a guy in line wearing tights and a lucha mask. We ask if he’s a local worker. He says, “I have a job, but it’s about an hour away.”
Mon, Apr 6, 5:55pm — Someone in line asks the fake luchadore if he’s the guy who works for the local paper. The guy says yes he is. Kayfabe is dead.
Mon, Apr 6, 6:32pm — The doors finally open and we head in. Pass by the merch stand, but nothing new. Probably for the best, in terms of my souvenir budget.
Mon, Apr 6, 6:49pm — Our seats are way at the very top of the arena. Thinner air up here, as people beside me seem to be oxygen depleted — or just stupid.
Mon, Apr 6, 7:51pm — After dark matches, Lillian sings the anthem. To our left, the guys don’t remove their hats. To our right, they remain seated. Commies.
Mon, Apr 6, 7:57pm — Jerry Lawler is introduced. I try to start a “Jerry” chant, but the people beside me don’t get into it. Commies.
Mon, Apr 6, 8:35pm — This kid a few rows back is screaming, almost pleading the RAW divas to win. He hates the Smackdown girls like they killed his pet dog.
Mon, Apr 6, 8:47pm — They show a Tribute to the Troops video to the great, but lesser-known Bob Dylan song, “Ring them Bells”. Great tune, iTunes it if you can.
Mon, Apr 6, 8:51pm — Forgot about Jeff Hardy’s pyro. Surprised, I jumped when they went off, and spilled diet pop on my pants. Hardy is now my new Starbucks.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:19pm — Two gangsta types just came into our section. People are scared to cheer guys they’re not, for fear of getting shanked, “Oz” style.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:21pm — Another Troops video, but not to a Dylan song unfortunately. Dubya’s appearance gets the gangstas all riled up. I fear for my life.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:25pm — Vickie Guerrero has more heel heat with these guys than even Dubya. Rest of the crowd hates her too, based on the boos during her promo.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:37pm — I might be in the minority, but I really can’t stand Santino’s schtick anymore. His segment is really lame. What a giant waste of TV time.
Mon, Apr 6, 9:40pm — They should have used the returning divas like Sunny, Molly, Torrie, etc. to expose and embarrass Santino and end this stupid angle.
Mon, Apr 6, 10:01pm — Earlier today, Doug was saying how little he missed Batista. Houston fans would seem to disagree based on the reaction for his return.
Mon, Apr 6, 10:04pm — Great. HHH, Vince, Shane and Batista. It’s like the Four Horsemen … if, that is, only one of the Horsemen could wrestle worth a damn.
Mon, Apr 6, 10:19pm — Outside, someone compliments my tie-dye shirt. I turn around, it’s ROH star Larry Sweeney. We talk to set up a SLAM! piece on him soon.
Mon, Apr 6, 10:47pm — We stop at the Hard Rock to buy a T-shirt and have a shot of Jack, as is my tradition when traveling. Then, back to the hotel to crash.
- Bob Kapur’s Twitterish Mania report: Day 4
- Bob Kapur’s Twitterish Mania report: Day 2
- Bob Kapur’s Twitterish Mania report: Day 1
Bob Kapur’s ramblings from Houston may or may not be done. Sounds like that story on Tommy Fooshee will be worth the wait though.