(not) Live From the banjo capital of Canada…
Naturally Limitless vs. JAS
It amazes me to no end that Dustin Runnels can still go at a decent calibre at his age. Bravo.
With Jericho moving on from his own Society, the real losers in the equation are Parker and Menard. AEW booker(s) will have to do a lot to get these guys a new road to travel. It’s not going to start easily with matches like this.
Parker and Menard control a lot of the match, but this is a foregone conclusion. Lee shows off his power in victory.
Winners: Naturally Limitless
Orange Cassidy/Keith Lee/El Hijo del Vikingo vs. JAS
Looks like there’s one “forbidden door” which hasn’t closed fully. Wonder if we’ll ever see AEW co-promote a card with one of the Mexican leagues…
As tired as I am of Orange Cassidy, the goofiness of some of the JAS is starting to wear on me more sharply. I was a huge Daniel Garcia fan, but I’ve lost faith now.
The key in this match is Lee’s performance, showing that despite having grey hair, he can get stuff done in the ring. Lee pins Matt Menard following a Jackhammer variant.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Izzy McQueen
Look up Squash on Wikipedia and you’ll get a clip of this match. Canadians shouldn’t be fighting one another like this!
Winner: Taya Valkyrie
Post match, Toni Storm and Saraya come out to taunt Taya. The end result is Taya vs. Toni at Battle of the Belts tomorrow.
Somewhere in Saskatchewan, Hook proclaims that he’ll take on Jack Perry for the FTW Championship on Dynamite next Wednesday… you know… instead of at Battle of the Belts. Some things make too much sense I guess…
Lance Archer vs. Trent Beretta
More competitive than it really should have been. I still can’t understand why Beretta and Taylor are taken seriously. I’ve said enough about Orange Cassidy but these guys are in the same boat. The hug is so very lame.
Midway through the action, Jake Roberts delivers a slow-motion short-arm clothesline to Beretta. I’ll still give him points.
Despite this being Rampage, we get a commercial break.
Murgerhawk ends things soon after the return with his finisher sequence including a massive Lariat.
Winner: Lance Archer
Post-match, Taylor tries to stir stuff up but eats a beatdown as well. He then challenges Cassidy for the International Championship and threatens further damages to the two jobbers in the ring. Cassidy casually comes out to the ring, showing SO MUCH CONCERN FOR HIS FRIENDS. Dear god this is terrible. Jake walks off with the belt in the bag, saying Cassidy can come back for it on Saturday at Battle of the Belts.
Backstage we get garbage from Jeff Jarrett and Matt Hardy’s crews. There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how much I find Sonjay Dutt to be revolting.
Konosuke Takeshita vs. Mentallo
Hey it’s the Winnipeg indie mainstay. I think whomever is the under the mask is the third iteration.
Callis gets on the mic just to annoy me.
Takeshita attacks early but Mentallo gets a couple moves in, because apparently Tony Khan is scouting more Winnipeggers.
Way more compeittive than it had any right to be when you’re trying to make Takeshita look a lot better than his name would imply. Top rope Senton finishes it.
Dark Order speaks out against Adam Page backstage
Athena vs. Willow Nightingale (Owen Hart Semifinal)
Athena deserves the win and a much stronger presence, particularly in place of Nightingale who I really don’t understand the attraction to. She’s as vanilla a babyface as there is in wrestling today.
Athena takes control and mocks her opponent (with good reason). Nightingale comes back and struts, and god I just can’t understand this attraction.
Athena has control going into the commercial, but coming out Nightingale is on fire, starting with a Pounce. She’s slowing down greatly as the match goes longer as the gas starts to drain from the tank. Spinebuster gets two.
Athena takes over soon after and hits a variety of hard moves, including a basement Lariat which gets two. Boo-Yeah spot gets as much of a reaction as Saskatchewan has teeth (that is very limited).
Crippler Crossface by Athena is broken up a pinfall reversal. Attitude Adjustment from Nightingale gets two. Athena tries something but botches, Nightingale with a VERY awkward roll-up for the win and thank the good guy above this is done.
Winner: Willow Nightgale
And that’s the show. See you some other time.