No time to lose, it’s time to go straight into the Brothers Brawl.

Ass Boys vs. Hardy Boyz

I fail to understand why no one is sitting Jeff Hardy down and telling him its time to retire. And can someone explain the logic of the Ass Boys in the Bullet Club?

The older Hardy is continuing his “Delete” schtick.

Tag team shenanigans to start from the heels with Jeff, but once Matt’s in the tide turns. Side Effect and Twist of Fate gets two thanks to a pulled foot on the bottom rope.

Ass Boys get a pin and nearly the W until Jeff interrupts. And yes, if you’re wondering, I don’t know which Ass Boy is which.

Gunns hit the 3:10 to Yuma on Jeff after interference from their Bullet Club Gold brothers (see what I did there?)

Winners: Ass Boys

Post match, more from The Club until Ricky Starks, FTR, and eventually CM Punk come down for the big rescue. This all leads to Punk, Starks and FTR against BCG at Collision.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mark Briscoe (Concession Stand Brawl)

I can’t remember which region the original / famous brawl emanated from, but here’s the “tribute”.

Condiment battle to start, including a cameo from Karen Jarrett. Why? Because. Sonjay Dutt interferes also. Why? Also, because. Ditto interference from Satnam Singh, before FINALLY someone comes out to help Briscoe. That someone (or someones) are Christopher Daniels, Trent Baretta, Chuck Taylor, Rey Fenix and Penta.

Penta Thighslappers Jarrett, leading to a Briscoe pin and win. Total cluster.

Winner: Mark Brisoe

Backstage, Blackpool Combat Club and Don’s Crew challenge The Elite to a five-on-five match. After this, Bryan Danielson rails on Okada.

 

Le Sex Gods / Minoru Suzuki vs. Les Jobbers Du Jour

Hey, remember when Action Andretti beat Jericho?

Look, I’m all for squashes, but giving jobbers as much shine as Andretti, AR Fox and Darius Martin get here is counter productive.

Liontamer on Martin for the duke.

Winners: Le Sex Gods / Suzuki 

Post match, Renee Paquette enters the ring. Jericho’s crew challenges Sting, Darby Allin and a partner of their choosing for Forbidden Door. The challenge is accepted by Allin and Sting, who make their presence felt. The partner remains a mystery. Wouldn’t put it passed Flair, if I’m being honest…

Backstage, after Tony Schiavone and RJ City stand by a tumbler for the upcoming Eliminator tag tourney, The Elite respond to the challenge. With Kenny Omega occupied, the fourth member of the team will be Eddie Kingston. Fifth, to be named.

Back to the ring for Adam Cole’s story time. He cuts a promo about MJF not winning last week, which draws out the champ. MJF denies a rematch, which prompts Cole to threaten an assault. Schiavone then pipes in and announces the two have been paired for the Eliminator Tag Team tourney. Before the segment ends, Tanahashi taunts MJF from the Khantron.

For the big announcement this week, we get the brackets for the Owen Hart Cup.

Orange Cassidy/Shibata vs. Zack Sabre Jr. / Daniel Garcia

Please, please please let Sabre end this farce.

Quick match and, by comparison, relatively painless.

Winners: Sabre/Garcia

Post match, we learn that the four Superstars will meet for the International title at Forbidden Door. Why are they changing the story to make it more improbable, thus making it more likely for Cassidy to win???

A weird segment involving Weird Osprey and Callis is up next.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Kris Statlander (TBS Championship Match)

Taya is the latest to fall.

Strong action between the two as things spill to the outside. Taya gets the better of the action when it gets back into the ring.

Taya gets solid offence in, including a Sliding German Suplex. Taya goes for a top rope somethingorother and gets Superplexed for her trouble. Piledriver variant by Statlander gets the duke and retain.

Winner: Kris Statlander

Statlander continues to impress.

Back to the ring for the main event segment. Eddie Kingston is out first and rips on Claudio Castagnoli. This draws out out Jon Moxley who confronts hits friend. Ishii is soon revealed as the fifth man for the faces.

Soon after, Danielson and Okada are in the ring together at last. Danielson evades the Rainmaker, but Yuta eats it instead.

Much easier show to digest this week with all the build, but all the NJPW matches are showcase rather than cannon. Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come.

And that’s the show. See you some other time.