It’s Saturday night, and it’s all right for fighting in 2024 (wait for the attack campaign ads this year. Oh, Gods, I need a drink!)

But before we get to blowhards, let’s focus on the sport of professional wrestling as FTR wants to beat some respect into The House of Black in their home state of North Carolina, and Eddie Kingston defends his new Continental title against Trent Beretta.

Now, back by popular demand (I guess), let’s kick things off with your…

Rapid Rampage Review in Rhyme™ (Now with Pictures)

*ahem*

Mark Briscoe and The Hardys beat up Kip Sabian, The Butcher, and The Blade,

Matt Hardy connects with The Butcher at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

Matt Hardy connects with The Butcher at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

and Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale gave Stokely Hathaway some much-needed shade.

Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

Hikaru Shida unleashed the Katana on Anna Jay,

Hikaru Shida vs Anna Jay at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

Hikaru Shida vs Anna Jay at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

ROH Pure Champion Wheeler Yuta made Komander tap without delay.

ROH Pure Champion Wheeler Yuta vs Komander (w/Alex Abrahantes) at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

ROH Pure Champion Wheeler Yuta vs Komander (w/Alex Abrahantes) at AEW Rampage taped on Wednesday, January 3, 2024 at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, and airing on January 5, 2024. Photo by George Tahinos, https://georgetahinos.smugmug.com

So for this week, AEW Rampage this week makes the grade.

Thanks, as always to George Tahinos for the great photos.

Now it’s time for…

AEW Collision

From the Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, NC. Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelley, and Tony Schiavone have the call, and it’s only natural you start with “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair (WOOO!), and he’s in the corner for the First Match of the Night…

Courtesy of AEW

Darby Allin and Sting (with Ric Flair) vs. The Workhorsemen (JD Drake & Anthony Henry)

Drake and Henry tried to jump them before they got in the ring.  At one point, Sting’s leg is hyperextended, and Drake and Henry focus on Allin.  They toss him back in the ring and he is quickly In Peril.  Allin goes for a tag and Drake cuts him off at the pass.  He attempts a moonsault that misses.  A hot tag to Sting and he is an Icon en Fuego.  Outside, Allin nails a Coffin Drop to Henry on the outside and Sting delivers the Scorpion Death Drop to Drake and that’s all she wrote.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Darby Allin and Sting

They hang at ringside for a bit as The Nature Boy gets in on a selfie pic with a Flair fan. Woo!

There’s a recap of Allin and Takeshita’s fight from this past episode of Dynamite, and that will lead up to Allin and Sting facing Takeshita and Powerhouse Hobbs at Homecoming next week.

Now for a title match and this is for the…

Courtesy of AEW

AEW Continental Crown Championship: Eddie Kingston(c) vs. Trent Beretta

This is Kingston’s first title defense since the World’s End PPV, and Beretta is hungry for gold. 

Both men start to feel each other out, and they go for a collar and elbow tie up but there is no give.  Kingston fires away with chops to the Best Friend and rushes at him but Beretta gets away and hits a tornado DDT for a two count.  He slows the pace and hits a suplex on the champ for another count of two.  Kingston returns with Kawada-style machine gun chops to Beretta and he takes one in the face as he rolls out.

Kingston attempts a half-and-half suplex on the apron but blocks it. Beretta is bloody but determined and he goes for a dive as Kingston evades and then gives him a Saito suplex on the floor.  During Picture in Picture, Kingston smells blood and opens the wound further, and chops him in the corner.  He whips Beretta to the ropes and they catch each other with a double clothesline that sends them down to the mat.  Kingston gets back up and again goes to chop him in the corner, and Kingston gives a nasty facewash to Beretta.  He rushes and Beretta over him and gets on the middle ropes but Kingston trips him up and he crashes on the top turnbuckle and comes down for an even nastier fall.

A high knee by Beretta and connects with forearms, pummeling the champ down.  He follows with a dropkick to send him out and nails the tope suicida on Kingston.  They show Kingston’s mom watching on with a concerned look on her face as he son is getting so much punishment.  Beretta goes up the top turnbuckle and Kingston cuts him off at the pass and connects with Sunset Flip powerbomb for a two count.  Beretta goes for his finisher but Kingston reverses for an exploder suplex and follows with a DDT for another two count.  Beretta hits him with a German suplex, then another, and a third where he releases.  Now he catches him with a running knee and follows with a Gotch-style piledriver but still gets a two count.  Beretta catches him flush with a discus forearm, then a half-and-half suplex, and rushes at the champ.  Kingston returns the receipt with his own half and half, followed by the backfist, and finishes with the Northern Lights Bomb for another two count.  Enraged, Kingston delivers a second Northern Lights Bomb and finally puts Beretta down for good.

Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still AEW Continental Champion:  Eddie Kingston

Tony Schiavone had interviewed Kris Statlander and Willow Nightingale earlier, and they both have big plans for more in 2024.  As for Stokely Hathaway, can we agree he’s just acting weird?  Seriously

Also, Hook has his eye on adding championship gold.  That means he’s coming for Samoa Joe and the AEW World title.

I mean…I like the moxie on the kid, and I’ve said before he needs to step up his game.  This, however…?  Good luck, Hook.

ROH ring announcer Bobby Cruise comes out to introduce the…

Proving Grounds Match: “Bounty Hunter” Bryan Keith and Komander vs. The Undisputed Kingdom (Matt Taven and Mike Bennett, with Roderick Strong)

This match can give each team an opportunity at a world championship down the road.  Taven and Bennett hold the titles since conning MJF in the Dveil’s henchmen garb. 

The Code of Honor is adhered to by all four men and then Bennett and Taven work Komander over, who bounces around like a pinball.  A tag to Keith, and he is ruthless on Taven.  Bennett tags in and during Picture in Picture, he takes it to The Bounty Hunter.  At one point he lands a DVD to Keith in the corner, and The Undisputed Kingdom makes him a Hunter in Peril.  Then…

Ads (It’s 2024.  Will you just commit to letting Picture in Picture run?  Honestly?!)

We come back and the Kingdom is still doing the double team and Taven nails a faceplant to a side choke on Keith.  Bennett tags in and Keith launches him into the turnbuckles.  He gets the hot tag to Komander and he is a Lucha en Fuego.  At one point he stands on Keith’s shoulders and nails a superplex to Taven, and then he helps launch the masked man at The Undisputed Kingdom on the outside.  It’s pure bedlam until Bennett gets Keith up on his shoulders and he and Taven give him an elevated reverse bulldog for the three count.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  The Undisputed Kingdom

Renee Paquette is backstage with Jay White and The Gunns of Bullet Club Gold on their relationship with The Acclaimed after the events with The Undisputed Kingdom, and soon they come into the picture. Bowens calls for a truce and suggests they become a faction.  White says they’ll think about it, and even Colten is saying that it makes sense.

So…Bang Bang Acclaimed Gang or Scissor Me Golden?  Either way, I call dibs on the trademark name.

It’s time for Adam Copeland, and The Rated R Superstar has a lot to get off his chest. He beat Cage at Worlds End for the TNT title but weaseled out of it with help from the outside. He points out that there was no rocket strapped to his back; he just works harder, and he tells Cage he should kiss Luchasaurus…err, Killswitch’s ass. He’s got his gear on and wants a match. Enter Maria Kanelis who comes out with Griff Garrison and Cole Karter. Garrison wants that challenge and Copeland lets him know he went from sea level to MT. Everest.  Garrison slaps him, and while Copeland likes him he has to beat him. Therefore the next match is

Adam Copeland vs. Griff Garrison

My New Year’s Resolution is still not to recap squashes, so here’s your first Haiku in Review™ for 2024.

*ahem

Man Bun Garrison

Gives a good fight, yet submits

and it’s Rated R!

Karter tries a sneak attack after the match but eats a spear from Copeland.

Flair talks with Sting and Darby Allin and they are coming to Daily’s Place in Jacksonville, FL where they debuted and it’s showtime.

Up next is women’s action between…

Courtesy of AEW

Skye Blue vs Kiera Hogan

I gotta say, I’m enjoying this darker shade of Blue.  She goes at Hogan, but she connects with a kick and a hip attack to Blue.  She comes with elbow shots to the back of Hogan’s head and follows with a running boot.  She gets dumped to the outside and during Picture in Picture Blue proceeds to battle but Hogan tries to fight back.  Blue gives her a suplex on the floor then sends Hogan back in to cover for two.

Hogan goes for a leg drop that misses and Blue catches her with a Mafia kick that gets a two count.  Blue comes down from the top rope and Hogan times it with a high kick, and then she is on fire and Hogan lands a hip attack and then a dropkick to cover for a two count.  She mounts with punches, but Blue escapes and tucks her head in the top turnbuckle for a superkick, and then she ends it with a TKO into a  dragon sleeper and Hogan taps out.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Skye Blue

There is a video package on the return of Serena Deeb, and it will be great to see “The Professor” in the women’s division.

Now for a match somebody asked for…

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Andrew Everett

So the deal is the five-foot-nine Everett thinks he’s a seven-foot “giant” and I know I need to do another Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Everett’s no match

For Swiss Cyborg. Big Swing,

Neutralizer. End.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Claudio Castagnoli

Lexy Nair is backstage with the AEW Tag Team Champions, Ricky Starks and Big Bill.  They talk about how they are going to face Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara, and they will do it next Saturday at Battle of the Belts in a Street Fight.

 

It’s time for the main event between…

Courtesy of AEW

FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) vs. House of Black (Malakai Black and Buddy Matthews)

The stipulation is if The House of Black wins, FTR must disown their families and join their ranks.  Also of note, neither Brody King nor Julia Hart accompanies Black or Matthews to ringside.  FTR comes out to a hero’s welcome, with Dax’s daughter in attendance.

Matthews and Harwood start and things are volatile from the moment the bell rings.  A tag to Wheeler and Matthews works his arm and shoulder, but then they go hold for hold until FTR hits the double Russian legsweep.  Tag to Black and he and Harwood get into it, as the leader of The House is playing mind games with his family watching.

Black slinks out to go to Harwood’s family, and FTR blocks that attempt.  Back in the ring, Harwood soon finds himself in trouble as The House isolates him in the corner. Then…

Ads (UGHHHH!!! Why is it so gods damned hard to stay on the action?!)

We come back and Harwood found a way out (thank for nothing, stupid ads!!) and he and Harwood go back to working over Matthews,  Now Black is in and nails a kick, but Harwood brings Wheeler back as he chops away.  Wheeler gets tripped up Matthews hits a backdrop on the ring apron and Black follows with a moonsault to the floor.

Wheeler is a Top Guy in Peril until he dumps both men out to the floor.  He crawls to his corner but Matthews cuts him off, kicks Harwood, and covers for a two count.  There is another Picture in Picture as Matthews keeps Wheeler on the mat, but he gets away and peppers him with right jabs, and then a sunset flip for another two count.  There’s a slam to Matthews and Wheeler makes his way to the corner, and he finally gets the hot tag to Harwood who is a Top Guy en Fuego.  A sheer drop brainbuster by Harwood gives him a two count on Black.

Harwood attempts a sharpshooter but Black shoves him to the ropes where Matthews holds him and Black nails him with a kick for a two count.  Wheeler pulls Matthews away, as Harwood and Black battle on. He goes up top, but Harwood trips him up and it’s a superplex/ splash combo to cover Black, but Matthews launches from up high and connects with double knees.

“This is awesome!” chants break out and Wheelers dumps The House to the floor. He goes for a dive but gets caught, and then Black throws him across the commentators’ table.  Black brings in a chair and stares at Harwood family. He swings it but Harwood fights back.  FTR Deliver the Shatter Machine to Matthews and cover for one, two…no, as Black breaks the count.  Wheeler and Black battle on the apron edge, and then he and Harwood drive him with a spike piledriver on the edge as they collapse onto the floor.

Now Brody King comes out to help The House, but Garcia saves FTR  with a chair to his back to even the odds.  He tells them to get up and Harwood gets in the ring and Matthews nails him with a stomp to cover, but Harwood gets a foot on the bottom rope. Another cover, but Harwood reverses and he has Matthews pinned for one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  FTR

As FTR and Garcia celebrate, The House of Black beats them down and Black gives a chair-assisted spin kick to Harwood. Meanwhile, Julia Hart appears to give a ten-bell salute to signify The House always wins as the show fades to black.

AEW Collision - 01/06/2024
3.5

Final Thoughts:

FTR and The House of Black look to be the feud where fans want them to fight forever.  If Garcia gets in the mix with Menard and Parker, we might have something.  Kudos to Kingston’s successful title defense, and Blue is evolving her look.

For now, see ya next Saturday!