Looks like the POWERRR is back on and it is live on YouTube for the National Wrestling Alliance, as there will be plenty of action, championships, and weddings. We’ll see how that last one goes between May Valentine and Aron Stevens, but we will have the finals of the Champions Series be contested in an Ultimate Tear War matchup.
As the show opens, we get a still of Jay Briscoe, who passed away last week.
We then head to the Knoxville Convention Center, in Knoxville, TN. Kyle Davis is in the ring with Odinson, and he wanted a “No Tables” match with Bully Ray tonight. He claims he doesn’t need weapons like Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (oh my). He is awaited shiny and chrome for Odin, and he is the one who will grab the sun.
We go to commentary where Joe Galli, Tim Storm, and Velvet Sky have the call, and it’s time for the First Match of the night which is the…
No Tables Match: Bully Ray vs. Odinson
Ray is basking in the cheers as he climbs the ropes in the corner until Odinson low blows him before the bell rings. As the ref asses his…err, little Dudleys, Davis is about to make an announcement but Ray takes the mic and says to ring the bell.
Ho-kay, then.
As the match gets underway, He schoolboys Odinson for two and goes for quick pins, but Odinson is too strong for Bully Ray. He fights back, but it’s for naught as Odinson hits spinning Asgardian uppercuts to his back. Ray starts a comeback will, as Galli calls it, a “Bully to back suplex” that creates separation, and both men fire off bombs until Odinson gets a backdrop to bodyslam suplex for a close two count. Odinson nails the Asgardian Pounce and covers for one, two…no dice. He attempts an F-10 and Ray pushes him into the ref, knocking him out. Odinson takes advantage, grabs a table from underneath the ring, and sets up for another F-10 but Bully Ray reverses and delivers with a chokeslam through the table. The ref comes to and calls the bell, because…
Your Winner via Disqualification: Odinson
Kyle Davis is now at The Podium with Pollo Del Mar and “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason. Mason asks the Tennessee crowd, “How about them Vols?” to a huge pop. He then goes on to says after his team wins The Champions Series it would be nice to have the Ten Pounds of Gold when he gets a chance to face Tyrus. Until then, he thinks ‘Some masked goof” named Cyon pulled a fast one a while back, and now he’s thinking he wants a shot at the NWA National title. Del Mar addressed the “durn dirty no-gooders” and she tells the women of Knoxville their husbands are safe as she has six foot six of, “Oooh yummy, honey!” but they’re coming straight for the National title.
Sign me up for that match, but now let’s go to ringside, and this is for the…
NWA US Tag Team Title Match: The Fixers (Jay Bradley and Wrecking Ball Legursky)(c) vs The Country Gentlemen (AJ Cazana and “The Thoroughbred” Anthony Andrews)
Davis gives boxing-style intros, but it’s obvious the Tennessee crowd is firmly behind the Gentlemen like Andrews and Cazana (who I interviewed recently).
Cazana and Bradley start off and neither man gives an inch until he sends him face first into Legursky’s ‘Pits of Hell, and that’s just nasty, boys. Tag to Andrews and throws to Legursky for a tackle, but it doesn’t last long. This is an evenly matched contest between all four big men on both teams but soon Cazana is isolated by The Fixers and he is a Gentleman in Peril. Bradley brings him out head first on the ring apron, giving clubbing blows, and says, “That’s for your ugly mother; that’s for your ugly father; and this is for ‘Roll Tide!”‘
Huh. Bradley is an Alabama fan. Well, we all make mistakes!
Tag to Legursky and he goes for a diving head-butt that misses the mark. A hot tag to Andrews who runs roughshod like a Thoroughbred En Fuego. As the Country Gentlemen set up a double team move, Bradley gets a blind tag by Legursky and then The Fixers get Cazana distracted as Bradley launches a gutwrench suplex to Andrews and he flies out of the ring. Legursky goes for a splash to Cazana in the corner, and he dodges. Cazana rolls up Legursky for the one, two, and three!
Your Winners, and New NWA US Tag Team Champions: The Country Gentlemen
Andrews and Cazana celebrate with the fans and the new US tag belts, and The Fixers are left wondering what just happened.
That leads to the contract signing Between Tyrus and Matt Cardona for the NWA Heavyweight Championship. Cardona comes out with Mike Knox, followed by BLK Jeez with Tyrus. Davis is in the ring and asks about the contention with the contract, and Tyrus has no problems and signs it right then and there. Cardona, however, says he hates Knoxville because he lost the championship there at the Alwayz Ready PPV. He wants to choose stipulations and then he will accept. Jeez suggests he stops being a little bitch and sign on the dotted line. Oooh, snap!
Fans chant “Sign it!”, but Cardona isn’t caving in, as he trades barbs with the champ., pointing out the title doesn’t say “National Talk Show Alliance.” Tyrus agrees and notes it doesn’t say, “Internet champion”, either (burn!). But then he gets serious and says that the title is in dispute since Cardona never lost it, and he needs to close that loophole once and for all. As both sides confer, Jeez comes back and suggests they have a tag match with partners of their choosing and whoever is the winner will get to choose the stipulations. Cardona wants one week to get someone and then finally signs the contract. It’ll be interesting how that plays out next week.
Next up is…
Kenzie Paige Vs. Charlette Renegade
Galli tells us this match was out together so that if Renegade wins she and her sister have a shot at the NWA Women’s Tag titles. Paige is in control early in the match and starts to get a little cocky until Renegade goes to work with a delayed fisherman’s suplex with a high bridge for a two count. Paige ducks out and runs away with Renegade in pursuit until Paige tries to leg drop and misses. A clothesline by Renegade gets a two count. Paige turns the corner and drops her into the turnbuckle and then follows with a kick and a chokeslam for a two count. Paige is getting frustrated and keeps going on offense, but Renegade fires back with a slam and then a spinebuster that gets another two count. Paige nails another superkick and then goes out to grab the belt. She sizes Renegade up, but then the ref grabs it from her hands. As he puts it away and had his back turned, Paige grabs some perfume from her outfit and sprays Renegade in the eyes and then rolls up for the pin and the win.
Your Winner via Pinfall: Kenzie Paige
Sky is “sorry, not sorry” since she admires how Paige borrowed from The Beautiful People playbook. Hey, game recognizes game is all I’ll say.
Kyle Davis is with Kamille and Thom Latimer in street clothes. Apparently, their opponents’ Fodder and Angelina Love had travel issues.
Huh, never figured Fodder and Love would travel Southwest Airlines (Thenkyew. I’m here all week. Try the nachos!).
As the Power Couple of the NWA run them down, Love and Fodder attack from behind. Well looks like they upgraded their flight to finally get there. They fight from the back into the ring and Love chokes with a kendo stick. Latimer tried to get Fodder off, but Love nails a low blow and then Fodder gets a shot to his skull. Then he holds Kamille and Love delivers the Botox Injection to ensure the message was received. The moral of the story: Always check your opponents’ travel schedule before running them down. Also, don’t fly Southwest.
Back to Commentary as Sky talks about the importance of the Champions Series as she had won before a couple of years ago, and the title opportunities it presents. Then we head to the ring for…
The Champions Series-Ultimate Team War: Team Tyrus vs. Team Rock N’ Roll
Galli notes that La Rosa Negra replaces Jennacide for Team Rock n Roll, as she is out with a minor knee injury. But she’ll be in action alongside Chris Adonis, Madi, Big Strong Mims, Dak Draper, Alex Taylor, and Taya Valkyrie for Team Rock ‘N Roll with Captain Kerry Morton and co-Captain Ricky Morton. Now Team Tyrus comes out, led by captain Tyrus and co-captain BLK Jeez, and EC3, Silas Mason, Trevor Murdoch, Allysin Kay, Robyn Renegade, and Samantha Starr follow to ringside.
The rules of Team War are that you can only win via pinfall, submission, or throwing your opponent over the top rope.
All hell breaks loose as the women battle it out before the ref gets some semblance of control. Negra and Kay start out, and Kay is starting to make easy work, as Negra is still dealing with injuries sustained by her now teammate Valkyrie early in the Series. She goes for AK 47 and Negra gets out of the finisher. Negra ties her up in a modified bow and arrow and Kay has no choice but to tap out. Next, Robyn Renegade steps in for Team Tyrus (a recent pick), and Negra still has momentum on her side. Renegade evades an attack and gets a dropkick for a two count. Now she gets Negra in an Octopus Stretch but manages to get out. Negra goes to a submission of her own, but Renegade fires back with elbows at her injured ribs and Negra has no choice but to tap out.
Madi comes in for Team Rock ‘N Roll and she is fired up and fighting dirty. A Reality Check eliminates Renegade from the match. Then Starr is in and she is too powerful, but Madi is wily. but it’s all for naught as a DDT eliminates Madi from the ring. Now, Valkyrie comes in, fresh off her suspension, and La Wera Loca shows how it’s done, but Starr manages to get in some offense and gets a bulldog for a two count. A short clothesline then knees in the corner, and Valkyrie delivers the Road to Valhalla on Starr for the pinfall victory. Now, she calls out Carnage, and as the Blunt Force Trauma member eyes her, EC3 distracts from the other side. As she takes a swipe at him, Carnage gets in the ring and unceremoniously dumps her out over the top rope.
Now Carnage calls out Mims, and this becomes a power match. But Carnage is much for Mims and he delivers a flatliner and is eliminated. Adonis steps up to the plate, and Carnage attacks right away. He manages to get in control, and Adonis attempts his signature Masterlock, but Carnage gets out of the hold. A pop-up powerbomb by Adonis is enough to eliminate Carnage. Murdoch steps in, and this is a hoss fight between him and Adonis. Murdoch is firing back with hard chops but Adonis sends him over the top to eliminate him. Murdoch then pulls Adonis out of the ring and starts stomping away and slams him on the ring apron.
Mason comes in for Team Tyrus, and nails a corner splash and a Thrillride takes Adonis out. Now Taylor is in and he tries punching away but a head butt stops that. Taylor then gets a headscissors takedown that sends Mason to the turnbuckle. He attempts a crossbody but Mason catches him and the Thrillride finishes him off. Draper is left for Team Rock ‘N Roll. Mason sends him over the top rope but he lands on his feet on the ring apron. Draper gets back in the ring and tries a cradle to Mason but gets a two count. Mason goes for the Thrillride and Draper reverses to a rollup to eliminate him from the ring. Now EC3 is left for Team Tyrus, and it’s a one-on-one contest, but The Essential Character is a step ahead. EC3 gets a Thesz Press for a two count and then tosses him again over the top but Draper catches himself. He drops him with the One Percenter and goes under the ropes and stares at both the captain and cocktail of Team Rock ‘N Roll, as the rest of the team rallies and makes EC3 back down. He goes back in the ring and they trade pins but Draper manages to roll up EC3 and keeps his shoulders down for the three count.
Your Winners of The Champions Series: Team Rock ‘N Roll
Tempers from both sides flare as refs get control, but soon all of Team Rock ‘N Roll celebrates the win and the title opportunities it will bring in the future.
Now we head to the wedding of Aron Stevens and May Valentine, because….what could possibly go wrong?!
*ahem*
But we get the Honorable Judge Sam Teamo is officiating the marriage, and he looks suspiciously familiar.
Now Blunt Force Trauma comes out as groomsmen with top hats and taped-on corsages and no shirts, which has Sky remarking they look like Chippendale’s. May Valentine comes out looking radiant in a wonderful wedding gown accompanied by her friend, Cara. As they approach the altar, Teamo mentions his name, and it’s “Nobody else you think (Me: Riiiiiiiiiight. *wink*).”
Stevens gets into his vows, so I’ll let him speak:
“Roses are red, and violets and violet. If my love was a plane baby, you’d be the pilot.
Oh, hang on we just getting started.
If a light of a thousand suns would have shine on my face
It would be in the shadow of your styling grace.
Your hair is so soft and your eyes are so blue. I’m a truly blessed man to be saying, ‘I do.’
But your body is not what makes you a work of art.
It’s the warmth in your soul, and the love in your heart.
But your body is not what makes you a work of art.
All gifts of your love are truly a bounty,
So let’s spit off these vows and blow the roof off Knox County!!!”
Ahhh, Poetry.
Then Valentine goes over her vows and how her heart’s been broken so many times and now she has found love with Stevens and can’t wait to be his forever.
As Judge Teamo remarks how wonderful Valentine is. I mean, he REALLY remarks how wonderful (easy, Judge), he then asks if there is anybody here that would object to this marriage…and Pollo Del Mar comes out and says he’s a “durn, dirty, no-gooder, honey.” As Judge Teamo remarks how big a woman she is (ha!), he asks if anybody else objects, and Chris Silvio, Esquire calls objection and states his client Jax Dane is the main attraction, and wonders aloud why he is not headlining.
Judge Teamo dismissed him on the grounds that his argument is dumb, and asks for anybody else. Now Mercurio comes up and suggests that the guy she should marry should be “Italiano,” and Judge Teamo notes he talks a little funny (Kettle, meet the pot. Funny how you both are black). Now Natalia Markova comes up and she says they both have had disputes in the past and says he’s fake and sneaky, and she is making a big mistake.
(Author’s Note: I’m normally not a fan of wrestling weddings, and I cannot speak for Stevens’ character. But from the little interaction I’ve had, I can state the following: He is a lot of underhanded things, but unless he had sex with a stripper that looked like his bride on their couch…eh, he gets a pass.)
As Stevens gives the marriage license, Judge Teamo notes that Valentine is a Brazilian who is a permanent resident of the United States, but the license is for *two* citizens. Teamo has to follow the law and state they can get married…just not today. Stevens starts making excuses, and says he found Judge Teamo through “1-800-The-Judge,” and that he got the wrong date, there was an error with the clerk at city hall, and he ran outta gas. He had a flat tire. He didn’t have enough money for cab fare. His tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole his car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood! Lcusts!
Wait…what?
Oh, my bad. I was quoting from The Blues Brothers again.
But regardless, sweet little May Valentine loses it as Stevens makes excuses, and she becomes Bridezilla, smashing the reception area, the cake (by Gawd!), grabs the champagne, and smashes it over one of the Blunt Force Trauma head, and she is so beside herself as the show goes to the credits
