What’s up everyone,
We are going to have an exciting night. Whooo! Part of The Bloodline have arrived, and amazingly, Sami Zayn actually cleaned up like Jey suggested he does last week. Good because that would have been weird. That beard still isn’t gone though…
Tegan Nox & Liv Morgan vs. Iyo Sky & Dakota Kai (c) – Women’s Tag Team Championship match
Morgan and Kai start this match off, but that doesn’t last long once Liv tags Tegan in to finally have her hands on Dakota like she wanted. Revenge will be sweet if Morgan and Tegan win. Nox has never won gold in her wrestling career, which is boggling to both Wade Barrett and me, so this is her chance.
Tegan tried multiple times to get some space between her and Sky, so she headbutts Iyo as they both collapse. Nox was severely despairing for a tag as she stretches to reach her partner as Iyo does the same.
Liv and Dakota are back inside the ring as they battle it out, Morgan continues to show how vicious she’s become with a Step-Up Enziguri since she lost her title to Ronda at Extreme Rules, which I still think was the most embarrassing moment of Morgan’s career when it came to the last juncture.
Morgan comes off from a Missile Drop Kick to Kai then a kip up as she attempts to rally her power.
What is with the ass slapping that’s been happening for the past couple of weeks? It’s getting nonsensical. And since we’re on the same topic train of upside down, is Bayley so desperate for attention from Michael Cole that she hovers over him?
Dakota takes out Tegan. Morgan throws Kai over the ropes. Sky tries to roll Liv up, but fails as she counters with a Code Breaker. Both Morgan and Nox play a double team with a second Code Breaker to Iyo. Which wobbles the poor girl. Ha! Ha! Tegan follows that up with a Shiniest Wizard move for a cover that’s swiftly interrupted by Kai’s double stomp.
Morgan goes after Dakota with a Sunset Powerbomb on the main floor that renders her gleeful, but Iyo comes out of nowhere and drop kicks her, turning Morgan inside out. We love this kind of pain. Yes, we do.
Iyo was looking for the Moonsault, yet Tegan pulls the bottom rope from under her. Almost instantaneously, after Bayley gets involved, a hooded figure kicks Tegan in the head WITHOUT the knowledge of the referee… as usual. Security does manage to escort the mysterious one backstage.
I have a guess that the hooded figure was Nikki Cross. She’s also been as unhinged as Liv Morgan, maybe more so.
Sky takes advantage of this sudden tumble to Moonsault onto Tegan for a retaining victory. I have yet to see teamwork from Morgan and Nox. I just don’t see it. They’re friends, yet the alliance doesn’t transfer well in the ring.
Winners: Iyo Sky & Dakota Kai
Footage of Gunther dominating the wrestling game has been enthralling and brutal. He makes everything he does both dangerously scary and shocking. He does recognize Ricochet’s high level talent, but he thinks he’s too much of a over excitable person to ever hold the title long enough. Gunther promises to break and drag Rico’s unconscious body to a hectic victory later tonight.
Ricochet counters with words of his own when he mentions that he won’t give up, and he won’t go down easily. He is the ultimate fighter in the entire business.
After LA Knight got attacked again in the locker room last week, we finally get to see an unscreened clip of that assault. I’ve never been more happy to see something body-tangling and messed up.
The concealed Knight footage showed that he was tied to a concrete post somewhere in the back of the stage wearing a make-shift mask on his unconscious face similar to the one he saw jump him as Howdy sings in the most disturbing and haunting way. That was bone chilling…
LA Knight feels blindsided by Howdy/Wyatt multiple times, he doesn’t believe Bray no matter how many different ways he chooses to explain. Wyatt arrives saying that he still isn’t the one responsible for the recent attacks. Knight isn’t understanding of the concept, so Wyatt allows him to beat him up if that will make him feel better.
Michael Cole mentions that Knight is trifling with forces he can’t begin to comprehend, and he might be right. This entire time, Wyatt maybe wasn’t Howdy, but until we see both of them in the same place only then I’ll let go of my theory.
Howdy delivers another cryptic message as he calls LA Knight a “little piggy” as if we’re in the fairytale story Little Red Riding Hood.
And speaking of slightly messed up things, Jimmy believes that Sami won’t become a full-fledged Uce with Roman’s blessing. Zayn might be disappointed. I think it’s because Jimmy imagines that Reigns will convince Sami that by destroying the Kevin Owens problem is the last thing he needs to do to become an official Uce. Although, I though he already was…
The Tribal Chief enters the building flanked by Solo Sikoa and Paul Heyman, the never-ending weasel, rat and snake embodiment. I haven’t seen Heyman in a bit, and quite frankly, it was blissful and heavenly. He won’t stop squirming… God! Whatever respect, dignity, proudness Heyman may have had in the past, he lost it this year. But I can go to sleep already knowing he hasn’t changed all that much.
And by the way, the Usos need to cease from saying “yeet”. It’s becoming alarmingly irritating. It’s like no one knows how to properly articulate words anymore. What happened to the English language? Normally I wouldn’t be arguing about this over here, but given the recent lack of forming sentences, I had to say something.
Ricochet vs. Gunther (c) – Intercontinental Championship match
As Imperium march their way to the ring, Adam Pearce pauses it for a moment to instruct both Giovanni and Ludwig to exit the main stage because we all want this to be a one-one-one matchup. Pearce was smart enough to stop it before it happened. Ricochet and I applaud him dearly.
We already had one championship match ruined by outside interference, we’re not going to have that again. Please and thank you.
A memorable highlight of mine would be when Ricochet kept trying to vertical suplex Gunther all of those three times. The first one was a bust as The Ring General turns it around on the challenger’s stomach followed by a harsh drop kick.
Gunther has Ricochet laid out, ready to be squished, luckily, Rico puts his boots up as the champ comes down and lands face first.
Ricochet’s third attempt at a vertical suplex finally connects with jaw-dropping results, which don’t make him the winner. He tries again with a Shooting Star, but Gunther kicks out as the crowd react accordingly to the disappointment.
The challenger runs up to Gunther and hilariously collides into a chop mid-air, flipping him like beef on a grill that’s followed by a Powerbomb and no victory.
Gunther takes a different route with his new move The Last Symphony for a retaining win over Ricochet. He fought hard, but it didn’t suffice.
Even though Gunther won, Vinci and Kaiser were about to send some more damage to Ricochet, yet Braun Strowman stops them before they can go too far. Strowman is very pissy that this match wasn’t his. He could have won if not for Vinci and Kaiser’s interference during their fight. When he came to help Rico, it wasn’t only to assist him back on his feet, but to scare the life out of Imperium.
Backstage, Jimmy goes to see Roman. He admits that he likes Sami, he’s his dog, according to him. But like I said earlier, Zayn might not be an Uso because of his past with Owens. Reigns decides to have Heyman call Pearce, and I’m suspecting it’s to make my dream match a reality. Zayn vs. Owens.
Heyman thinks that by calling Pearce over, that his life has been significantly more meaningful due to Reigns’ sudden need to chat with him, or using Paul as a mouthpiece as always.
The 20th anniversary tribute for the arm forces is going to be celebrated next week to help thank the soldiers who fought for everyone’s freedom. A video narrated by John Cena reveals the WWE wrestlers visiting the soldiers who’ve long to meet their favorites back in the year of 2003 in Iraq, Baghdad.
Hit Row vs. The Viking Raiders vs. Legado del Fantasma – Triple Threat match
I kept wondering what was up with all that smoke. It was everywhere as if it became the star of the show. Ha!
Anyway, Ashante and Ivar go at it in the ring as this temporarily turns into a one-on-one situation. Ivar almost hits Ashante with a spinning kick, but he dodges it and sends the Viking outside. Erik rushes in with a clothesline over the ropes as well. Top Dolla gets involved too. Del Toro and Wilde come after a lone Dolla with kicks to the mid-section. Once they have their backs turned, Dolla also sends them outside.
Since everyone has the tendency to not pay attention, Dolla runs into Erik. Del Toro and Wilde slide back in with a double team off the top turnbuckles as they drop Erik and the rest too.
The Raiders had Dolla out of all sorts for a cover, meanwhile, Joaquin Wilde crossbodies on top of Erik to stop the count. That’s capitalized with a Tornado DDT off the second rope.
All hell breaks lose once the ladies start fighting. Zelina slingshots Ashante from the top turnbuckles, then B-Fab delivers a heavy boot to her face, and Valhalla ambushes B-Fab. From the second rope, Zelina ploughs onto Valhalla when her efforts were placed elsewhere.
Dolla was looking to fly over the ring, yet as he did that, he landed slightly funny on his opponents. It was a funny whiplash. I think it was an accident. Ha! But there’s still a battle to be won here, so Dolla lifts Joaquin up, and Ashante connects the Heavy Hitter for a win.
Winners: Hit Row
In medical backstage, Raquel Rodriguez is made aware of a Gauntlet match to determine Ronda Rousey’s next victim for the SmackDown Women’s Championship title next week. She says she’ll be there for vengeful reasons against Shayna and Rousey for dislocating her shoulder and attacking her friend Shotzi.
Unfortunately for Rodriguez, those words echo far enough to reach the champ herself, which prompts her and Baszler to further antagonist her shoulder. Rousey goes even deeper by throwing an ice bag to her bruised figure.
As we move on from that painful moment, Roman reminds Sami that we have a KO problem that needs dealing with. So the dream fight I was hoping for is happening… with a small twist. It’s a tag match instead where Reigns and Zayn will team up to take on Kevin and his partner.
And who better than JOHN GODDAMN CENA? Once I saw the big screen lit up with someone’s face on it, I looked ahead and shouted: “Cena!!” I think I had heart palpitations due to my overflowing joy. I said I missed him, and I knew he was coming back, to my surprise I didn’t know it could have been for this.
Owens asked Cena to team up with him through a somewhat emoji filled text message. A peach, an eggplant, a merman, Santa Claus, a mind-blown and peace sign emoji. Wow, Kev. Too much, no?
Befuddling to me, no, it’s not as much as John calling himself Cena Claus. Ha! Ha! Ha! I couldn’t breathe. “Ho, ho, holy sh*t.” That’s how you end an evening. Even Roman was smiling sarcastically.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention two things. Sami made the mistake to not address Kevin as a past friend. Mistake. Ha! An odd slip of the tongue, sir.
Also, a Digital Exclusive unmasks who the mysterious person in the hoodie from earlier was. It’s Xia Li. I thought it was Nikki Cross, but I’m glad I was wrong because Li probably needed this more. Although, I can’t fathom why she helped Damage Control…
Oh, well. We’ll discover the reasons behind that another night.
TOP PHOTO: John Cena in 2022. Courtesy of WWE