SmackDown is celebrating their 1200 episode today. I saw the email. Cheers to them.
“The Baddest suspended woman is here,” said McAfee because Ronda Rousey has highjacked the show. Beautiful. Since she paid her fine for her outburst at SummerSlam, she demands to come back. Adam Pearce tells her to calm down and that he can’t just reinstate her.
Officials come out to attempt at removing her from the building but Rousey does what she does best. Breaking people’s pitiful arms and balls. I believe the duo of officials who came out after that rumble are police. They handcuff Ronda and escort her to their car.
“You know what, Pearce? Nice hair cut,” said Rousey. I laughed so much because the man has no hair. Ha! Ha!
As we move on from that amusing hassling, Roman Reigns pulls up backstage. He will come face-to-face with his Clash at the Castle challenger, Drew McIntyre.
Women’s Tag Team Championship Tournament Round One: Natalya & Sonya Deville vs. Toxic Attraction
Okay, it would seems Nikkita Lyons and Zoey Stark got replaced by Toxic Attraction, also from NXT. I was sorely disappointed if I’m being honest. I hyped it up and got trampled somehow.
Anyway, Bayley, Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai sit in the front row to analyze their possible opponents.
Jacy Jayne from Toxic Attraction starts this match against Deville. Sonya decides to make great use of Jayne’s head as a hammer, colliding it with the turnbuckle.
I can’t say Bayley isn’t right about how Sonya isn’t advancing in the women’s division when she got hired. She blames Deville for the delay.
And that shows once Jayne sends Sonya into a post before Gigi Dolin, the other half of Toxic, delivers a running knee to Nattie’s jaw then pushes her into the steel stairs.
After that misstep, Nattie takes on Jayne, giving her a Side Russian Leg Sweep and two very quick suplexes to her backside.
Deville kicks Gigi out the ring then Jacy pushes Sonya and throws her right into the barrier surrounding the fans and in front of Bayley, Iyo and Dakota as they mock her. Jacy kicks Sonya in the head completely dropping her down. That’s done.
We veer away from the outside fight and back into the one happening in the ring with Gigi and Nattie. Dolin had Natalya in a roll up, but she jumps out, and performs a clothesline to Gigi’s throat.
While Gigi was in a corner, and Nattie was temporarily woozy, Jacy made a tag, which made her legal. Too bad Nattie didn’t notice, nor heard for that matter.
So when Natalya has Dolin in a Sharpshooter submission move, Jayne slides in to roll Nattie up for the win. Nattie sat there perplexed and dazed. I can’t say I wouldn’t understand. They played you like dumbass, sweets.
Winners: Toxic Attraction
Sami Zayn struts his way to Reigns’ dressing room for a chat, orchestrated by Roman. Zayn tells the Tribal Chief that he’s been getting told off by Jey twice that he isn’t pulling his weight for The Bloodline. I have been saying that Jey is a little unhinged as of late, it’s almost scary. Jimmy is still being restrained, relaxed. He doesn’t lunge at people so quickly.
Surprisingly, Roman agrees with Zayn. I was a bit shocked that he didn’t knock Sami out for that, he genuinely understood. Although, Reigns wasn’t entirely happy when Sami said that the twins called and won’t be at the arena due to problems at the border. But Zayn is here, right? Is that better? Nope. It’s like expecting to receive a delicious stack of brownies only to be left with a terrible replacement such as saltine crackers. Whaa? That’s a snack to you?
Max and Maxxine Dupri remind us that their agency has managed to “Titillate the juices of our guilty pleasures,” But who the hell cares? Hit Row arrives to literally kick their asses out and regale us with a rap and singing performance. I like that more. Pat McAfee was confused but he eventually enjoyed the abruptness.
Fatal 5-way for Intercontinental Championship opportunity at Clash at the Castle
Since getting back into wrestling, I haven’t seen Sheamus make in entrance without the other pain in the butts, Butch and Ridge Holland. So, I’m actually glad seeing him be him. You know, for once since losing some parts of his identity.
The hometown crowd was actually cheering for Sami as he makes his way to the ring. Well… whatever works for his ego. Sami is the clear favourite here.
As we began the fight, Ricochet goes straight for Happy Corbin, who manages to dash out the of the way in time to allow Sheamus to hit Rico from behind.
Ricochet and Sami are left in the ring alone as they go at it as the audience cheers for Zayn. Sami slides out, Rico prepares himself to fly off the rope until Happy materializes himself out of thin air to chokeslam Rico for a cover as everyone else rushes back in to stop it as they pound Happy’s back.
Sheamus is battling Madcap near the timekeeper’s area. Sheamus throws Moss against the barricade allowing Madcap to retaliate by shoving Sheamus over the barrier.
Disturbingly, Corbin has been dominating this match by crushing all his opponents. Zayn has been getting roars of excitement from the fans, yet his ass disappeared for most of the battle. So what is this really for?
Ricochet DDTs Corbin in the center of the ring to gain momentum after Happy tried to plummet Rico.
Sheamus delivers his 10 Beats of the Bodhrán to Moss, Corbin and Rico then was about to punish Zayn until he ducks under and brings Sheamus’ throat along for the ride.
A White Noise move by Sheamus to Zayn off the top ropes and with that, Sami’s shoulder in now in pain as he retreats backstage. What’s that going to do to Roman? Oh oh, by the way, Happy isn’t wearing a shirt by now. This is not a sight to behold. “#shirtlessHappyCorbin,” said McAfee.
The pure exhaustion is real, it’s everywhere, and I love it. He may be tired, but Sheamus knees Madcap in the jaw, which rings across the arena.
Sami makes his return; although he’s still injured, to continue his fight. Zayn does manage to cover Rico, but Corbin got his hands on him to prevent Zayn from winning and pushes him against the post shoulder-first.
Sheamus jolts us with an abrupt Bro Kick to Happy Corbin for the win and the opportunity to challenge the Intercontinental Champion, Gunther in Wales. That’s right! The Celtic Warrior is back and way better.
Apparently, we have a massage from The Viking Raiders, I’m not sure for what, but I’m certain it’s to establish further dominance. And… Viking customs?
“You failed to heed our warnings,” is what they said. Huh? I wasn’t paying attention. What warnings? Maybe it didn’t nail itself hard enough in my brain for me to remember. I’ll just wait for a firm delivery later. That is if they can manage to keep me up.
Liv Morgan vs. Shotzi
Shotzi is graphic saying things like wanting to rip Liv’s arm from her socket or running a knee into it is the inevitable torment she will inflict on Morgan. “Liv is emotional,” is what Shotzi thinks.
Morgan takes the fight to Shotzi with a few punches to Shotzi’s head before being shoved. Morgan isn’t 100 per cent during this match, so it was easy enough for Shotzi to drop Liv’s head on the apron, allowing her dizzy body to flop on the floor.
Morgan is trying to get back into this fight while Shotzi has been the one on top. Shotzi even uses the ropes to suplex Morgan backwards as a failed cover.
Morgan performs the Oblivion to Shotzi’s head for the win.
Suddenly, Shayna Baszler attacks Morgan from behind to further damage Liv’s arm, but she places a harsh boot to Morgan’s face instead. Liv is in real trouble.
Winner: Liv Morgan
Time is tick tick ticking. Drew lifts his coat as he prepares to meet Roman in the ring and finds an hourglass underneath, amazingly left by Karrion Kross and Scarlett. Ooh. Spooky.
Since Paul Heyman, thank goodness, isn’t here, someone else had to hand Roman a mike. The man was hilariously scared.
Reigns is sure that Drew is beneath him, and he doesn’t have to say anything to his face. Of course that doesn’t sit right with McIntyre, so he marches into the ring spitting that Reigns doesn’t deserve the titles. Reigns isn’t representing those gold belts properly according to McIntyre since he’s not here on SmackDown every week.
McIntyre digs even deeper by saying that Roman is vulnerable without The Bloodline, pretty much calling him a trapped cockroach since they’re prone to scurry, and that he will give the audience a preview of their upcoming battle right now.
Reigns and McIntyre go for a few punches to each other’s heads before Drew drops Roman with a suplex. Roman Superman Punches Drew, McIntyre retaliates with his Claymore. Unfortunately, his boot lands in Sami’s face, as he takes yet another bullet for the Tribal Chief.
Roman thought this was his moment to spear McIntyre only to get a boot to his face just as quickly as the opportunity arose. Drew raises the titles as a sign of a potential spoiler at Clash at the Castle two weeks from tomorrow.
Drew has every reason to be happy, but I wouldn’t rejoice too early. Don’t forget, regardless of Roman’s on and off appearance on SmackDown, he destroyed Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam long before the twins helped him bury Lesnar in debris. He puts all he has when it really counts. So, McIntyre should also be worried.
TOP PHOTO: Drew McIntyre stands over Roman Reigns with his titles. Courtesy of WWE