WrestleMania 34: The Live Report

We’re live providing live commentary on what we’re seeing at WrestleMania 34. You’ll read comments from our sharp and sarcastic writers sitting in front of their TV, and get insight from our writers and a photographer in New Orleans at the Superdome.

Think of it as a broad overview of the show, as our veteran TV writers, Nick Tylwalk and Dale Plummer, are hunkering down on their couches, laptops fired up, to recap WrestleMania itself.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 12:10 ET It has been about 10 minutes since Brock has left the ring and Roman is finally making his way to the back. He was laying in the ring with medics checking on him.

Greg Oliver, 12:03 am ET: Quick thoughts? Some memorable moments, but somewhat muted by some strange booking decisions.

Greg Oliver, 12:02 am ET: Lesnar hit what we think was the sixth F5 on Reigns to retain his title. A LOT of blood. Would have been stopped on regular TV for sure.

Greg Oliver, 12:01 am ET: We made it past midnight. And Reigns is busted open big time. We have NOT seen this much blood in a long time.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 11:55 ET The crowd is entertaining themselves with beach balls. Security keeps taking them away.

Greg Oliver, 11:45 pm ET: Neither Brock Lesnar nor Roman Reigns had elaborate entrances. Paul Heyman did the introduction. Started out fast.

Greg Oliver, 11:45 pm ET: Not only am I tired, but the Internet at Casa Kapur seems tired too, and conking out. Geez, who thought it was a good idea to have a 7-hour show?

John Powell, 11:38 pm ET: The tag title on a kid? That is bad as making David Arquette world champion. How to make the belts worth nothing. Good job, WWE.

Ryan Nation, 11:35 pm: I wonder if P Diddy sampling “New York Groove” means we will see Ace Frehley at next year’s Mania. John Powell will appreciate the reference.

Bob Kapur, 11:35 pm ET: So you just devalued Ronda Rousey who won her debut, and so did a 10-year-old kid.

Greg Oliver, 11:31 pm ET: The kid gets a hot tag, crowd pops, but then Strowman tags back in and slams Cesaro for the win. Your new Raw tag champs, Braun Strowman and Nicholas. No doubt, someone somewhere is doing an #instantclassic hash tag. Sigh.

Greg Oliver, 11:24 pm ET: So much wrong with this, the idea of bringing in a kid, especially given that we just had Zayn and Owens fighting for their supposed jobs, and here’s this kid getting an opportunity without a contract … let alone the insurance, the bad parenting … shall I go on?

Greg Oliver, 11:22 pm ET: Strowman is looking in the crowd for a partner. He eventually settles on a little boy, Nicholas, maybe 10 years old. Ridiculous.

Greg Oliver, 11:18 pm ET: The Bar come out with a Mardi Gras party going on. Then Braun Strowman comes out, scares off the characters, and tips the float off the stage.

Greg Oliver, 11:13 pm ET: Styles won with the Styles Clash. It was good, but so different than the rest of the show that, well, it’s hard to put into words. When McMahons are stars, where does that leave Styles and Nakamura? Post-match, Nakamura presented the WWE title to AJ on bended knee … and then nailed AJ in the Little AJs. Heel turn.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 11:11 ET The crowd seems burnt out over the last two matches. They are still cheering but their passion has gone down.

Bob Kapur, 10:44 pm ET: Now watch, AJ will come out to a jug band.

Greg Oliver, 10:43 pm ET: Nita Strauss, guitarist with Alice Cooper, plays out Nakamura, along with what was likely a school class of violinists.

Ryan Nation, 10:41 pm: I met AJ in 2002 during his TNA days. I’ve also seen him wrestle in an old middle gymnasium in Cookeville, Tennessee. My, oh my.

Greg Oliver, 10:39 pm ET: Up now, the WWE championship bout, with AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Ryan Nation, 10:37 pm: The fans versus the Superdome’s restroom floors — falls count anywhere.

Greg Oliver, 10:36 pm ET: Nia Jax won the Raw Women’s title in a match that went longer than most thought it would.

Bob Kapur, 10:23 pm ET: Nia Jax looks like a bumblebee in that outfit.

John Powell, 10:22 pm ET: I still say Alexa’s entrance theme sounds like a video game soundtrack on the fritz.

Greg Oliver, 10:21 pm ET: The Raw Women’s title match is up next, and Alexa Bliss comes out first, with Mickie James alongside.

Bob Kapur, 10:16 pm ET: Does that include John Cena?

Greg Oliver, 10:15 pm ET: 78,133 is the announced attendance.

Greg Oliver, 9:53 pm ET: Zayn and Owens are apparently still unemployed after losing to McMahon and Bryan, when Bryan made Zayn tap. No doubt the new GM on Smackdown will hire them back.

Greg Oliver, 9:53 pm ET: Zayn and Owens attack during their introduction, and quickly take Bryan out, hitting him on the ring apron again.

Bob Kapur, 9:52 pm ET: Bryan is noticeably smaller, shades of James Ellsworth.

Bob Kapur, 9:50 pm ET: Someone saw the Kenny Omega intro for WrestleKingdom, and adapted it for Daniel Bryan.

Greg Oliver, 9:49 pm ET: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are taking on Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan now.

Bob Kapur, 9:41 pm ET: Do the pyro, do the pyro! Yes!

Greg Oliver, 9:40 pm ET: WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2018 is introduced.

Ryan Nation, 9:38 pm: I now want to see Taker tombstone Brock and Roman in the very place where the streak ended.

John Powell, 9:35 pm ET: So rough being an Undertaker fan as whenever he appears you hope against all hope that he returns to regular status in the WWE… only to be disappointed.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 9:33 ET Those were some hot flames in person from the Undertaker.

Greg Oliver, 9:28 pm ET: For all of those who have complained about the lack of squash matches these days, we present to you The Undertaker destroying John Cena, finishing him off with a Tombstone Piledriver.

Greg Oliver, 9:28 pm ET: It’s on Cena vs Undertaker.

Ryan Nation, 9:27 pm: Last year, Taker left his coat, hat and gloves in the ring. If he loses again tonight, does that mean he takes off his pants?

Greg Oliver, 9:22 pm ET: Cena beat up Elias pretty well. He walked up the ramp, and the lights went out. Then the lights came on and Undertaker’s gear was in the ring … and then it wasn’t. Then a gong.

John Powell, 9:22 pm ET: Whose bathrobe did Elias steal?

John Powell, 9:17pm ET: Elias trolling the WWE universe so hard. Hilarious… but the angle itself, enough already.

Ryan Nation, 9:16 pm: Maybe we will see the return of the UnderFaker from decades ago.

Greg Oliver, 9:16 pm ET: Talk about boos — the lights go out, the crowd pops and Elias comes out, playing “House of the Rising Sun.” … “Were you expecting someone else?” he says.

Greg Oliver, 9:14 pm ET: John Cena is out for a match apparently.

Greg Oliver, 9:10 pm ET: The Bludgeon Brothers won the titles, double teaming Kofi Kingston at the end for a win, in a relatively short bout.

Bob Kapur, 9:05 pm ET: Luke Harper has lost a lot of weight.

Greg Oliver, 9:04 pm ET: It’s the three-way Smackdown tag team title bout. Xavier Woods is the third man out.

Greg Oliver, 8:57 pm ET: The New Day have a pancake set-up, and little people dressed up as pancakes. Weird.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 8:56 ET The crowd was on their feet a lot of the time during the mix tag match.

Greg Oliver, 8:55 pm ET: Okay, Rousey made Steph Rollins (you have to see the outfit to see the comparison) tap, but it was way, way, way too overbooked. A lot more intergender fighting than we usually see in WWE rings … maybe move it to Lucha Underground?

Greg Oliver, 8:32 pm ET: Short “Ronda Rousey” chant.

Greg Oliver, 8:31 pm ET: Ronda has a short kilt on, and is channeling Roddy Piper. Big smiles, hardly serious.

Greg Oliver, 8:30 pm ET: Kurt Angle sure looks happy to be there; he gets his own entrance.

John Powell, 8:29 pm ET: The world needs more motortricycles.

Greg Oliver, 8:24 pm ET: The Triple H & Stephanie vs Rousey & Angle bout is up now. Steph & Hunter came down on motorcycles, and did the water spit.

John Powell, 8:23pm ET:Isn’t Holly Holm the “baddest woman on the planet”?

Greg Oliver, 8:21 pm ET: I have lost track of the number of commentators they have used.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 8:20 ET The ring mat is being changed.

John Powell, 8:20 pm ET: A Canadian as United States Champion! I wish it was Roode but I’ll take it.

Greg Oliver, 8:17 pm ET: Rusev’s moment with the crowd going nuts is the hottest they have been all day. Moments later, though, the boos started, as Jinder Mahal wins the US title.

Bob Kapur, 8:16 pm ET: This is a good time to point out that I have set up a GoFundMe campaign to pay Randy Orton enough money to leave wrestling and never come back.

Ryan Nation, 8:12 pm: I think the ref whispered into Cena‘s ear, “there is no waiting in the backstage men’s room” and Cena took off. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Bob Kapur, 8:05 pm ET: Jinder should have come out on an elephant.

Greg Oliver, 8:04 pm ET: Sunil Singh goes all Ricardo Rodriguez and introduces Jinder Mahal.

Greg Oliver, 8:03 pm ET: A glorious entrance from Bobby Roode that gets cut slightly short when Aiden English does the Rusev entrance. Good pop for him.

Greg Oliver, 8:02 pm ET: Some of the cool laser work is apparently not visible to the crowd but only to the TV audience … at least that’s what we can establish with our people in the stands.

Jan Murphy, 8 pm ET: Food report from the press box: Cooked beans, mini potatoes, pasta in some kind of sauce, roasted chicken, breaded chicken, potatoes, fries.

Greg Oliver, 7:59 pm ET: A ref just went to Cena, and Cena leaped over the barrier and headed to the back. If any other fan did that, they would be tossed out. Unfair.

Greg Oliver, 7:58 pm ET: First person to get on the mic, besides Cena, is Asuka. She congratulates Charlotte and lifts her arm. Big hug. What is this, Ring of Honor?

Greg Oliver, 7:55 pm ET: Charlotte Flair beats Asuka. Really good match. Asuka worked on Charlotte’s shoulder all match. She tapped out to the Figure Eight. So the streak is over.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 7:40 ET Each entrance on the main card have been great to watch in person.

Greg Oliver, 7:37 pm ET: Easily the best entrance so far. The 2001 theme then goes all techno.

Bob Kapur, 7:38pm ET: Sad thing is the gladiators are Arn and Tully.

Greg Oliver, 7:37 pm ET: Charlotte Flair all golden, with her centurions.

Bob Kapur, 7:36 pm ET: Wow, they are playing Flair’s music!

Greg Oliver, 7:30 pm ET: Promo for the Andre the Giant documentary airing on Tuesday on HBO.

Mike Mastrandrea, 7:28 pm ET: Solid opener. Not overbooked.

Bob Kapur, 7:28 pm ET: A good triple-threat with the guys in the ring most of the match, so not formulaic.

Greg Oliver, 7:27 pm ET: Seth Rollins wins, pinning The Miz.

Ryan Nation, 7:21 pm: Hmm, no love for The Honky Tonk Man regarding greatest IC champs?

John Powell, 7:10 pm ET: Tonight, playing the role of The Miz, Elton John.

Greg Oliver, 7:09 pm ET: The Miz sent the Miztourage away.

Bob Kapur, 7:09 pm ET: Miz is turning babyface because he had a baby, or his wife did.

Jamie Hemmings, 7:08 pm ET: Finn Balor showing support for inclusion is an incredible moment in the old boys’ club of pro wrestling.

Greg Oliver, 7:07 pm ET: First “real” bout on the main show is the Intercontinental title three-way, with Seth Rollins, Finn Balor and the champion, The Miz. … and Jonathan Coachman is back, if you cared.

Mike Mastrandrea, 7:06 pm ET: Wow, they got pyro back!

John Powell, 7:04 pm ET:That opening segment looked like a beer commercial.

John Powell, 7:03 pm ET: I thought Elias was the future of music?

Greg Oliver, 7:02 pm ET: America the Beautiful to kick things off; neat the way they used the backdrop. Naturally, a U-S-A chant too.

Ryan Nation, 6:52 pm: I hope Conor McGregor does a run in during the Universal Championship match. Why not? His recent bus attack is a page out of Memphis booking.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 6:50pm ET: The ring skirts are getting changed, and a fan is being escorted out of the building and the crowd is cheering it.

Jamie Hemmings, 6:47 pm ET: The trophy for the women’s battle royal looks like Fallopian tubes.

Greg Oliver, 6:44 pm ET: Sarah Logan was third last, leaving, predictably, Bayley and Sasha Banks. … oops, apparently Naomi is still around. Bayley sent out Banks, but then Naomi sent out Bayley. At least Naomi’s outfit matches the trophy.

Greg Oliver, 6:42 pm ET: Excitement at Casa Kapur — he just set off the fire alarm with his cooking! More exciting than this women’s battle royal?

Greg Oliver, 6:39 pm ET: Damn, another commercial, and we came back to Kari Sane being eliminated.

John Powell, 6:32pm ET:So many questions. Why did the tryhards Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks and Bayley get entrances? Why is the battle royal interrupted by a commercial for what looks like a lame Paige movie? Why did they include rejects, lame ducks from the Mae Young Classic?

Greg Oliver, 6:36 pm ET: They all started out by attacking Carmella and sent her out. It’s like girl shaming, and now they are picking on Dana Brooke.

Greg Oliver, 6:34 pm ET: Before the bout, a promo for the movie on Paige’s life that The Rock is producing.

Greg Oliver, 6:32 pm ET: Spoke too soon. Bayley got an intro. A lot of NXT girls.

Greg Oliver, 6:25 pm ET: Beth Phoenix and Paige are doing commentary … and the women’s battle royal. Unlike the men, they will get introductions by Lillian Garcia. … Becky Lynch got an intro and then everyone else came out en masse. How did THAT happen? What a riot of colours in the ring.

Greg Oliver, 6:25 pm ET: John Cena interviewed at ringside. He has a beer. Raved about the fans.

John Powell, 6:20 pm ET:What is the WWE thinking sitting Cena out at WrestleMania? This could rival the White Castle of Fear in utter lameness. If he and Taker don’t have a match that’s like benching LeBron James during the NBA finals, just because.

Greg Oliver, 6:05 pm ET: Cedric Alexander won the 205 Live cruiserweight title. Decent match, but really, it’s on the pre-show and how many people paid attention. Even their own company went to an ad.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 6:20 pm ET: It took awhile for the crowd to get into the cruiserweight championship match. Towards the end of the match the crowd was very into the match.

Bob Kapur, 6:18 pm ET: Yet another promo during a match.

Ryan Nation, 6:18 pm: I hope they have massage therapists at the venue for fans who sit through the entire show.

John Powell, 6:15 pm ET: Just when you think the angle couldn’t possibly make John Cena look more idiotic. Those reactions? Ugh.

John Powell, 6:05pm ET: Black Panther for Alexander and Iron Man for Ali? Awesome. Great to see Alexander and Ali at WrestleMania. They have worked so hard on the underappreciated 205 Live. Hoping Ali wins. He has come such a long way in a short period of time.

Greg Oliver, 6:05 pm ET: We’re in the second hour, and apparently this is the kickoff show. Max Moon against Glacier for the 205 Live cruiserweight title. Or Cedric Alexander against Mustafa Ali. They have Drake Maverick on commentary.

Don Davies, at WrestleMania, 5:58 pm ET: Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt walked down the aisle and took a bow before they returned backstage.

Ricky Havlik photo:

Greg Oliver, 5:54 pm ET: Hardy thanked Wyatt, crowd chants “Thank you Wyatt” and now they are apparently friends.

Greg Oliver, 5:53 pm ET: Hardy sent out Corbin … so Hardy is the winner, since Wyatt was never officially in the match. Or something.

Greg Oliver, 5:53 pm ET: Rawyley out via Wyatt

Greg Oliver, 5:53 pm ET: Here comes Bray Wyatt

Greg Oliver, 5:52 pm ET: Down to Matt Hardy, Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley …

Greg Oliver, 5:50 pm ET: Eliminated … Goldust out … Ty Dillinger deleted by Matt Hardy …

John Powell, 5:49 pm ET: Wyatt isn’t in the battle royal? Is he not part of WrestleMania? Weird that. I still want Matt Hardy to win, Wyatt to destroy the trophy.

Dale Plummer, 5:47 ET: I can’t believe they cut to promo in the middle of the match. Actually, I can.

Greg Oliver, 5:48 pm ET: Eliminated … Kane just sent out the Miztourage … Heath Slater is gone … Baron Corbin tossed Sin Cara

Bob Kapur, 5:47 pm ET: Just noticed Kane in there.

Greg Oliver, 5:46 pm ET: Eliminated … Titus O’Neil is gone … Shelton Benjamin gone … Rhyno out … The Revival went out at the same time …

Dale Plummer, 5:46 pm ET: The winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal always ends up doing great things. Look at Mojo Rawley, wait, I mean Baron Corbin. No, Cesaro. Eh. Never mind. Maybe the winner of this thing should get a guarantee that he won’t get released over the next year.

Greg Oliver, 5:44 pm ET: Eliminated … Mojo Rawley just sent out Zach Ryder … Karl Anderson is out via Chad Gable … Luke Gallows is next … and now a commercial???

Greg Oliver, 5:38 pm ET: Eliminated … Tyler Breeze is gone … Victor makes it both Ascension out

Greg Oliver, 5:38 pm ET: Eliminated so far … think it was Mike Kanellis, which no one noted … JR just called Rhyno fat without saying fat …

Greg Oliver, 5:38 pm ET: Eliminated so far … Aiden English … “who’s that” .. someone got eliminated and they couldn’t ID … one of the Ascension … Curt Hawkins is out .. Goldust threw out R-Truth and then Goldust dabbed … a Colon is out

Greg Oliver, 5:36 pm ET: They just went from Carmella babbling on to the ring, where the Andre the Giant battle royal is set to go — with everyone already in the ring!

Dale Plummer, 5:24pm ET: I hope everyone is settled in. I’m predicting this show goes past midnight this year.

John Powell, 5:18pm ET: While you are waiting for the show check out Nakamura vs Styles in NJPW.

Ricky Havlik, 5:21 pm ET: Happy #wrestlemania day!

Bob Kapur, 5:15 pm ET: They just showed John Cena in the crowd. Do you think he got his ticket on StubHub? I heard it was sold out.

Greg Oliver, 5:01 pm ET: I have made it to Chez Kapur and the pre-show has started. Not much to report.

Jan Murphy, 4:16 pm ET: The day has arrived.

Jan Murphy, 3:16 pm ET: We’re here.