Maryse is glad that Miz will be coming back after a few months away filing a movie, so she asks Eva Marie what she can do to make his return memorable. She thinks maybe a sexy photo shoot, and Eva suggests they do one together. This has the potential to be a great episode.
Brie is backstage, because Bryan asked her to join him on the road so they can still continue to try to make a baby, even while he’s on the road.
Naomi seeks out WWE suit Mark Carrano and pitches an idea for a glow in the dark entrance, and she says she wants to meet with Production. Carrano tells her that because of all the logistics of planning something like that, she’ll have to wait for a while, which frustrates her.
Brie finally catches up with Bryan, and she feels weird because she’s there, but no longer part of the locker room. Bryan tells her she can watch him skip rope, but she opts to simply head back to the hotel.
Renee and Dean Ambrose have rented a vacation house, and she’s all about the romance, while he’d rather engage in stupid drunken antics. Their dog must take after him, because it tries to get into a brawl with a wooden pig statue.
Maryse and Eva are out, since apparently Maryse is the only woman in the locker room that can tolerate her. And, holy God, they decide to try on bikinis, and this must be sweeps week. Eva comes up with a concept for the photo shoot – a Baywatch theme.
Naomi got the go-ahead to pitch her new entrance, and goes to Nattie for advice, which never works for anyone. Negative Nattie points out all of the potential problems with the plan, and puts a lot of pressure on Naomi to get hustling on getting everything ready, including her outfit and choreography.
Eva and Maryse go for body wraps, which seems like an excuse for a lot of side-butt and side-boob shots, while the girls scream and moan, and this is truly awesome. They wrap the girls up in plastic wrap and put her under a heat lamp, and neither Miz nor Eva Marie’s husband Jonathan can be worth this kind of thing. If I were with either of these girls, I’d never make them do this. Hear that, ladies?
Renee calls up Nikki, probably because Nikki is contractually-obligated to appear on every episode, even if only in a voiceover. Renee tries to initiate a romantic night by cooking dinner, but Ambrose has ordered a pizza, so she gets upset. And Renee loses points in my book because she likes pineapples on her pizza, which everyone knows is just plain wrong. Ambrose slurs his way through an explanation and somehow charms her back into her Stepford-like ways.
Naomi practices her entrance at home in some practice gear, but isn’t feeling it. Which worries her, because she knows she’ll only get once chance to impress Production.
Brie and Bryan are in the hotel, but Brie’s upset because the internet in the room isn’t working, and she needs to attend a business call. She leaves, and it’s noted that by the time she’ll get back, Bryan will have had to leave. See, their storyline this week is that even with her on the road, the two will not be able to spend time together, and in order for her to get what she wants in life, she’s going to have to sacrifice time with her husband. Driving home this point even further, Nikki is on the business call, and tells them that Brie will be joining later, because she’s on the road with Bryan. The caller tells Nikki they’ll have to reschedule the call, and is clearly not pleased. Nor is Nikki, who calls Brie and blasts her, and tells her to get her priorities straight. They fight, and Brie hangs up on Nikki.
It’s time for the photo shoot, and Maryse has way too many props, leading Eva to think she’s lost her mind.
Dean and Renee are out shopping to buy Dean some clothes that don’t make him look like a homeless person. Man, he comes across like a big douchebag, and she comes across as even worse for being with him. It actually makes me angry to write about them together. So moving forward, I’m just going to gloss over their scenes.
This will allow me to focus on the fun scenes of the show, the photo shoot. The photographer is worried about the ridiculous amount of props that Maryse brought. So, she ends up leaving most of them in the car. Maryse is kind of bitchy to the photographers for no real reason. And her and Eva start arguing for no reason. At least there are some thong shots. But otherwise, this whole segment comes out of nowhere and makes no sense. Eva storms off because Maryse is being a beeyotch, but Maryse goes after her and they seem to make up, but not really. But then they frolic around some more in their thongs, so who cares.
Dean and Renee dress up to go for dinner.
Eva and Maryse gorge on some burgers and fries, and then are ready to continue their photo shoot. Maryse apologizes to the photo crew, and they get back to the fun.
Dean suffers through a fancy restaurant dinner, but Renee can tell he doesn’t like it.
Backstage, Naomi is getting ready to show off her proposed new entrance. Carrano tells her that this could be what she needs to boost her career.
Brie goes and visits Nikki, who tells her that she needs to stop traveling with Bryan, and instead focus on her own business interests. Nikki tells her that she can’t sacrifice her life just because she gave up her career and her dream of being a mom hasn’t worked out yet.
Renee takes Dean to a dive bar, and they’re both happy.
Backstage, Naomi is worried about her entrance going off well, and Nattie gives her a pep talk. They practice the entrance, complete with the lighting, wardrobe, and choreography. They have to do a few run-throughs, which suggests to her that they like it, because if they didn’t, they’d spike it after two attempts. But she’s not 100% sure.
The Bellas meet up for a photo shoot. Brie tells Nikki that she talked with Bryan about not joining him on the road, and it turns out that he’s fine with that, as long as she’s happy. Meaning the Bellas can focus on business again, so hooray. As long as they’re not wrestling.
At TV, Naomi debuts her entrance in front of the live crowd, and it goes great.
Bob Kapur has never worn a thong. E-mail your disappointment to bobkapur@hotmail.com.
