I know. I know. You were expecting Shelby-Liza. She has the week off so you are stuck with me, Slammers.

First up, a history lesson on the importance of the Opera Cup. Not sure why there are only four participants if this is such a historic tournament but what do I know?

The second lesson from tonight’s episode of MLW: Protect those knees, superstars. Protect those knees.

B3CCA versus Billie Starkz

This B3CCA, claims to be an “international pop star” and raps her way to the ring to a chorus of boos. My ears and head hurt. Her rap is crap. These WCW dudes would agree, for sure.

Starkz is a prodigy and just graduated from high school.

The ladies shake hands before they lock up. Billie takes B3CCA down to the mat with an arm lock. B3CCA escapes by bouncing off the ropes which sends Billie flying. Billie dodges B3CCA. She goes sailing through the ropes to the floor.

Billie dives through the ropes onto B3CCA knocking her into the guard rail. Billie leaps off the top rope landing awkwardly injuring her knee. Billie still manages to lay in some big chops in a corner. B3CCA hits a big boot and a missile drop kick from the top rope for a two count. Billie holds her knee. She is in a lot of pain and agony.

B3CCA drags Billie to the middle of the ring with a half Boston Crab. Billie makes the ropes to break the hold. B3CCA kicks out Billie’s knee out from under her. Billie fires back with a haymaker but cannot execute a suplex due to her injured knee. She collapses to the mat. The women trade forearm smashes in the middle of the ring.

Billie fights through the pain with a back kick and a German Suplex for a two count. Billie is hobbling around the ring. B3CCA head scissors Beckie off the second rope. She gets a two count with a TKO stunner.

Billie gets a present and it is not even her birthday. Courtesy: MLW.

Billie fights off a superplex and hits B3CCA with a swanton bomb from the top rope for the three count. Billie limps to the back. Before she can get there she is stopped by a masked member of The Calling offering her a present. Billie opens the box. Inside appears to be bloodied parts of a brain. Billie drops the box with a scream.

Winner: Billie Starkz

Don’t take any musical advice from Love Doug. Courtesy: MLW.

Love Doug is the latest MLW 2023 Open Draft recruit. He is the “Curious Cupid” who crashed B3CCA’s live performance. He is obviously infatuated and tone deaf as he says B3CCA’s voice to him is like “angels singing”.

MSL is asked about his attack on MicroMan. He says: I hope I never see MicroMan again!

No sooner than he says that is MSL attacked by leaping MicroMan and then the Second Gear Crew!

“You don’t ever mess with our family!” shouts Mance Warner as they leave MSL laying.

Calvin Tankman says Davey Boy Smith’s legacy doesn’t matter when he is in the ring with him later tonight. He guarantees he will win the Opera Cup and hold high when it is all said and done.

Kane has some fun at Willie Mack’s expense. Courtesy: MLW.

Alex Kane mocks Willie Mack and his diet. “He won’t be in shape but he will be a shape,” laughs Kane. Kane tells Mack he is not worthy of being in his presence.

“You aren’t for the people but you are for the buffet,” snickers Kane.

Kane will be defending the MLW World Heavyweight Championship against Willie Mack at Fury Road on September 3rd.

Davey Boy Smith Jr. versus Calvin Tankman – Opera Cup Stage One

Davey Boy traps Tankman. Courtesy: MLW.

Tankman muscles Smith into a corner. Smith takes control with a headlock. The two behemoths collide in the middle of the ring. Nobody goes down. Smith works over Tankman’s arm cracking down on it. Tankman reaches the ropes for a break.

Tankman backs Smith into a corner for a flurry of punches. Smith charges at Tankman. Tankman dodges. Smith rams his knee into a corner. On the floor, Tankman gives Smith a knee-breaker on the rampway. Tankman wraps Smith’s knee around a steel post over and over. The official checks on Smith who has trouble standing up. He cannot put any weight on his knee.

Tankman stomps on Smith’s knee as both men head back into the ring. Tankman puts Smith in a leg lock as he punches Smith in the head. Smith reverses things on Tankman. Tankman is close to the ropes so he escapes easily though. Smith fights on his knees punching and head butting Tankman. An enzuigiri stuns Tankman.

As Tankman lays motionless Smith tries to shake off the pain. Tankman catches Smith on the top rope slamming him to the mat. Tankman comes off the top rope. Smith catches him and powerslams him for a two count and then a series of leg drops.

Smith cracks Tankman with a flying head butt from the top rope and then a flying leg drop from the top rope. He only gets a two count after all that.

Tankman gets trapped in a crossface by Smith. Tankman taps out.

Winner: Davey Boy Smith Jr.

We get a promo by The Calling and Rickey Shane Page saying the 22-year journey will be worth it. First the brains and now this. What could it all mean?

The box of brains tonight reminds me of one of my favourite movies and scenes of all time. ***Viewer discretion advised *** Until next week, folks.