Samantha Starr faces punishment to the Max on this NWA USA

We start off a new season of the National Wrestling Alliance this Saturday with Max the Impaler wanting to make an example out of the third-generation talent, Samantha Starr, for her interference in the NWA World Women’s Television Title match at the NWA 312 pay-per-view. Will Max welcome Starr to the Wasteland, or will it be a case of leaving them Starstruck?

We’ll find out as we go to StudioONE in Highland Park, Il. Kyle Davis is in the ring with the legendary Bobby Fulton.  However, the bad news is someone stole his Fantastics sequined jacket. He thinks it’s The Fixers, and here they come out as Bradley wants to make “the geriatric man feel safe.” Fulton accuses them of stealing the jacket and selling it on eBay.  Legursky and Bradley swear they have no interest in that old jacket, and Bradley assures they fix problems to a chorus of boos. He ends with “Don’t threaten the Fixer Nation,” and you know this feud is far from over,

There will be more time to see what develops later.  Joe Galli, Tim Storm, and Danny Dealz have the call, and we head to the ring for the First Match of the Night, and it’s a triple threat junior heavyweight match between…

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Alex Taylor vs. Rhett Titus vs. Victor Iniestra

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Galli informs us this is the debut match of Chicago native Iniestra in the NWA.  As Titus shakes hands with Taylor, he goes to Iniestra who refuses the offer.  Taylor dropkicks him into the corner, and he and Titus go to work with some nice scientific wrestling, but the Chicago native enters and gets a nice snap head scissors takedown on Taylor.  Then it’s a series of arm drags between all three men, but Titus stands tall in the end and nails a Northern Lights Suplex to Iniestra with a bridge to cover, but a Taylor double stomp breaks the count.  He sends Titus out and Taylor hits Iniestra with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Before he can continue to capitalize, Titus comes back and lands a springboard shoulder tackle to Taylor.  It’s a flurry of action, and as Titus is sent to the corner, he jumps on the turnbuckles and hits double back elbows to both men.  Titus goes up top for a high-risk maneuver and Taylor takes advantage by pushing him off the top to crash down below and turns back to Iniestra.  He attempts a step-up enzugiri, but Taylor ducks and then delivers a Michinoku driver to Iniestra and secures the pin and the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Alex Taylor

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May Valentine is backstage with Judais and Father James Mitchell. She inquires about the status of Gaagz the Gymp and Sal The Pal.  The Sinister Minister proclaims they both have been expelled from his garden of pleasures, but the big issue is Starr getting involved and stealing the win from Max. Mitchell goes to a Klingon proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold but in Starr’s case, it will be served up as a sizzling hot plate of pain by his Iron Chef, Max the Impaler. Bon Appetit.

Now, Valentine has with her Joe Alonzo and Jamie Stanley.  They talk up the loss to Kerry Morton at the PPV, and Alonzo is not happy but he has a chance at redemption on this NWA POWERRR. Stanley makes it clear that if it wasn’t for Kerry’s dad interfering, Alonzo would be a champion, and he lets us all know that there are two things they do best:  bash nerds, and do it with excellence. Deal with it.

Speaking of which, here comes to the ring The NWA United States Tag Team Champions…

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The Country Gentlemen (“The Legacy” AJ Cazana and “The Thoroughbred” Anthony Andrews) vs. Billy Tipton and Garrison Creed

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Galli says this is not only a non-title match, but it’s also a Crockett Cup tune-up match, which is coming up on June 3rd & 4th.

(Note to Self:  Start thinking about getting tag teams to talk up)

This is mostly The Country Gentlemen in control from start to finish, and the end comes quickly as Tipton is taken out with what Dealz coins The Country Breakfast (an avalanche Hart Attack), and Cazana covers for the pin, and the win.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  The Country Gentlemen

Before they could celebrate, The SVGS run into the ring and ambushes The Gentlemen.  Clearly, they don’t take their loss at the US Tag Team titles lightly, and this appears to be far from over in the minds of Jax Dane and Blake Troop.

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Valentine has Angelina Love and Fodder of Psycho Love speaking to her, and she offers congratulations on their engagement and hopes it is better than hers (and I thought *I* held on to a grudge for too long).  Love twists the knife showing off her sparkler and declares it can have its own ZIP code.   But Love wants to get the attention of the NWA Television champion, Thom Latimer.  She calls out “Tommy” and she is aware he is the King of all Evil, but he’s not Psycho like her fiancee, Fodder.  Fodder adds that to be evil, you need to make a deal with the devil and there is a deal he just made.

Interestingly, it goes straight to the Main Event, and one can’t help but wonder what Fodder has in store for Latimer down the road.

Well, that’s for another time, because your Main Event is…

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Max the Impaler (with Father James Mitchell) vs. Samantha Starr

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Simply put, Starr is a strong wrestler with a lineage that goes back to her mother, Baby Doll.  Max is a Non-Binary Nightmare that makes Big Van Vader look like a pussycat in comparison.

In short, they are not the same, and Starr is way out of her depth.  As both combatants lock up, Max quickly shoves her to the corner.  Starr tries a waistlock but gets tossed off.  No matter what offense Starr throws at Max, it just bounces off The Impaler.  Starr attempts the Starstruck DDT, but Max shrugs it off and drops her with a nasty clothesline and covers for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Max The Impaler

Max is triumphant amidst the boos from the crowd, and Mitchell applauds his Non-Binary Nightmare on a decisive win as the show goes to the credits.