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Cody Rhodes vs. Ludwig Kaiser

I laughed so much when I saw that Kaiser was going to be Rhodes’ opponent tonight. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s so random, I have to you. So random. I would have never seen this match coming. It crept itself onto my spine like some sort of baby leech… ew.

It’s weird, in fact, that even Michael Cole pronounced Kaiser’s name wrong. Ha! Ha! You can hear him struggling.

Regardless of how abrupt this feels, I’m glad that Cody is back on SmackDown wrestling again since I remember him as Stardust. This reminds me of when Rhodes came back to WWE, I strangely didn’t recognize that him and Stardust were the same person at first. Later on, I noticed how similar their face structures were, and I was like “…Oh damn. I’m so amazingly blind.”

Apparently, Cody was baited into this match because of the Royal Rumble. He came in at number 30 while Gunther came in at number one. Rhodes eliminated the Ring General and won the Rumble, so now, Kaiser feels like calling this man out. As I said… random.

Rhodes places Ludwig into an impressive vertical suplex and plants the bastard on his face. Ha! We’re going to have loads of fun today!

Oof. I spoke too soon. Heyman showed up at the entryway to rattle Rhodes during his match. How annoyingly predictable of him. This causes a slight distraction, but not enough for Rhodes to be put down. He manages to deliver a running knee to Kaiser’s jaw.

During the commercial break, Kaiser delivered a superplex to Rhodes off the top rope before hammering down on Cody with harsh elbows to the temple of his head.

Off the second rope, it looks like Rhodes was preparing for the Cody Cutter, but Kaiser prevents that from unfolding. Ludwig delivers a very ear-ringing knee to Cody’s face that I momentarily looked away.

While the official wasn’t looking, as one comes to expect, Vinci sends a cheap shot to Rhodes’ head for a failed cover.

No matter how many beatings Cody has received, he can’t afford losing this fight because that would downgrade the momentum he’s built since coming back, hence Heyman’s sudden appearance.

Rhodes bounces off the second rope and delivers a kick to the side of Kaiser’s head, sending him backwards. He was about to go for the Crossroads, but Cody stops mid-way when he notices Solo Sikoa making his way to the ring with Heyman. Sikoa is here due to what happened on RAW. He was going for the Samoan Spike, Rhodes blocks it then kicks Solo in the face. Unfortunately, The Enforcer hasn’t forgotten… What a bad time to be around.

Any opportunity Rhodes gets distracted, Kaiser takes the opening he’s got to inflict pain on Cody by sending him crashing against the steel stairs. Both Kaiser and Rhodes take each other out with a double clothesline. Yikes and hilarious.

Sikoa was thoroughly unimpressed by Rhodes’ power slam on Kaiser as he looks on at commentary. Ha! No expression whatsoever…

Thankfully after that double team Ludwig and Vinci were playing against Rhodes didn’t work, they were stunned by how quickly Cody kicked out from a cover.

Kaiser may have performed an amazing uppercut, kick and suplex, however, Cody caught him with the Crossroads for the win.

We can never have nice things, can we? Heyman attempts to have Rhodes and Sikoa battle it out this upcoming Monday for the hell of it, but I suspect it’s to weaken Cody a few days prior to WrestleMania. How quint…

With that in mind and the fact that Cody won his match against Seth Rollins at Hell in a Cell with half his body waned down, nevertheless, Sikoa isn’t ready for him. And neither is Roman Reigns.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Charlotte Flair being champion shouldn’t be based on fear, nepotism, nor insecurities. Those same three words have been the bases to describe Flair since she started in this business, but she proved them all wrong.

She says that she doesn’t fear Ripley, she respects her given that that’s what this industry was built on. Flair has insecurities too, but she doesn’t allow them to take further root. And lastly, nepotism. Charlotte isn’t going to apologize for continuing her family’s legacy. “Whether you like it or don’t like it, you’re going to learn to love it because diamonds are forever, and so is Charlotte Flair.” Although, I feel like that doesn’t really answer the question…

Rey Mysterio vs. LA Knight

Wade Barrett thinks Rey should have thanked LA Knight for offering to beat Dominik for him, but what Barrett seems to forget is that Knight insulted Rey at the same time. Trying to call himself “LA Mysterio” of all things and the dead-beat dad comment too. My eyes are burning severely.

As Knight goes after Mysterio, Rey uses his quickness to avoid incoming strikes and manages to deliver some of his own. What was funny was that, although Rey couldn’t send Knight flying, Mysterio’s opponent still misses with the elbow drop. Ha! Ha! Foolish. Rey pays homage to Eddie Guerrero after hammering away at LA Knight’s skull.

Knight may have delivered a neck breaker to Rey, but the high-flying Luchador comes back 2-times as strong with a slingshot and a slide kick followed by a body splash on the main floor.

I felt it in my bones that Dominik was going to show up, and he did just as Rey was going to Moonsault LA Knight. That distraction allowed Knight to take advantage of the opening and throw Rey off balance. I’m not sure how Angie, Dom’s mother and his sister are going to feel about him being here given they kicked him out of their family group chat aside from everything else.

“I guess his mommy, Rhea Ripley, let him out of the house tonight.” said Cole. Ha! Ha!

Mysterio was looking to change the momentum of this match, but LA Knight delivers a heavy boot to the face of Rey. Surprisingly, Dominik didn’t look as excited as I thought he’d be. Hmm? Maybe I’m counting my lucky stars too early.

Oh, and Wade, stop saying Dominik is on a “hot streak”. It’s false information.

Ha! Ha! LA Knight misses with another elbow drop after basking in the fans’ chanting. Ha! I can’t… it’s too much.

Rey reverses Knight’s attempt at a slam with a DDT, then shoves him onto the rope for the 619. Unfortunately, Rey gets caught, but he manages to ward Knight off. He tries again, yet Dom trips him.

Knight takes the opening with a roll up and wins. Dom still has the warped desire to face his dad at WrestleMania. He wants a fight so badly it’s getting ridiculous.

Rey says no and leaves. “Hey mom, how does it feel to be married to such a pathetic loser?” Dom asks his mom. I was stunned… Angie and her daughter, Aalyah were appalled. Dom comes up to Angie and says she was just as complicit as Rey since she didn’t do anything either. He called her a “dead-beat mom,” which angered his sister. Dom calls her stupid for even trying to say something.

Angie grabs the mic, attempting to speak, Dom yanks it back and shouts to his mom to shut up……………….. I was blank on my face… It was one thing to go after Rey, but it became out of goddamn control when he attacked his mom too.

That REALLY was the last straw. Rey came marching back and finally punched Dom as the crowd cheers like civilians getting money from the sky. Ha! I can’t say I wasn’t happy. Ha! Ha! That would be a lie. You should have heard Michael Cole. “Oh Yeah!!”

That’s what you wanted, isn’t it, Dom? If that wasn’t enough, Rey actually accepts to fight Dominik at WrestleMania like he wanted. My problem is that I kept shouting at the screen “No!” because I saw it coming. Dom forced his father to agreed, but he’s still rattled by the hit he received earlier as if he’s starting to regret it.

Well, boo the hell hoo.

Winner: LA Knight 

Lacey Evans & Xia Li vs. Shotzi & Natalya – WrestleMania Showcase Qualifying match

Now this is a combo I never wanted to see. Li and Evans. If we’re being honest here, I can’t help but notice how some of the wrestlers have fallen in terms of credibility. Evans went back to basics, but she might have become a worst person for it. Xia has somewhat lost her way after countless loses during matches, almost rendering her invisible. Ronda…. well, she woke her inner, more vicious beast.

Ha! Liv Morgan has unleashed her masochistic self a bit too much, but I really don’t dislike her for it. Just a small positive I felt like mentioning. But what I am saying here is that most of these people went down an unnecessarily dark path, maybe even forgetting who they are. Some have changed for the worst. And that’s only some of WWE’s wrestlers…

Evans and Shotzi start this match off as Lacey knocks the ballsy badass on her butt for a failed cover. Xia is tagged in as she unloads on Shotzi, keeping her in their corner.

Instead of capitalizing a cover after an amazing suplex by Li, she decides to waste time mouthing off at Natalya.

Once Lacey comes back into the fold, she cheap shots Nattie off the apron rather than focusing on Shotzi inside the ring.

Evans and Li play a double team on Shotzi, but she delivers a knee to Xia’s nose then goes for Lacey. Shotzi later gets caught from behind by Xia, Evans comes in, Shotzi ducks leaving Lacey to accidently deliver the Women’s Right to Li. Oof.

Finally, Nattie is in the game. After getting rid of Evans with a boot to the face, she and Shotzi play a double team on Xia. For a final blow, Nattie performs the Sharpshooter for a victory. Raquel Rodriguez and Liv Morgan come to congratulate them, yet the celebrations are cut short. Shayna Baszler and Ronda Rousey are here too.

All they wanted to say was that they’ve been added to the Showcase match at Mania, so beware those who are also qualified. You’ve been warned.

Winners: Natalya & Shotzi

We are now at the point of the night where we get to witness the contract signing between Sheamus, Drew McIntyre and the Intercontinental Champion Gunther for their Mania fight as a Triple Treat match. What shocked me was how Sheamus decided to greet the fans. “Las Vegas, what’s the crack?!” He said. I cried out laughing. Ha! Ha!

People have been wondering why Sheamus is mad at Drew. Well, he explains that he’s been working towards a goal, the Intercontinental championship, for a while now. He tells McIntyre about it, then the biggest slap to the face was Drew attempting to take it. Someone he’s been friends with for over 20 years. It’s a knife to the very soul of Sheamus.

On the other hand, McIntyre thinks that Sheamus is being sensitive over something that’s your daily kind of business. Apparently, Sheamus can’t separate work and personal matters. Drew states the facts that he won over Sheamus, and he believes that he can beat Gunther as well. Because “History has shown that you can’t.”

That comment almost erupts into a brawl between Sheamus and McIntyre, luckily, Adam Pearce is here to control the proceedings and gets them to focus on the contract. Once that’s done, that’s when Gunther arrives… shockingly, without his lackeys. Ha!

He knocks a chair over. I guess he’s still mad about Pearce’s announcement last week. Aw, boo. “I want you to justify this decision to me.” asks Gunther. The way he kept shouting at Pearce as he said “Justify it!” repeatedly made me laugh.

Things take an interesting turn when Gunther asks Butch what he’s looking at, which prompts Butch to attack the champ. Due to this bizarreness, a match between Butch and Gunther is underway. Something I never thought I’d see. Ha!

Gunther vs. Butch

Butch attempts to fight back with chops to Gunther’s chest, which the Ring General quickly deflects with a heavy boot to the face followed by a body slam. Even McIntyre winced.

Drew winces again when Gunther ploughed through at Butch, rendering him like jelly. The champ is one pissed off human being right now as he severely chops Butch down while holding his hand.

Butch tries to put Gunther away with his signature joint manipulation techniques, yet Gunther swats it like a fly then sits down on Butch’s spine, applying for a submission.

Butch battles his ass out of it with a Step Up Enziguri to the side of Gunther’s head. Butch went for a third one, even though, Gunther dodges it then German suplexes him.

Gunther kept punishing Butch extremely before he had to break it due to the five count. He throws Butch away, and he lands on the stairs hard.

Later on, Gunther was looking to make fun of Sheamus by attempting to do the Ten Beats of the Bodhrán, but Butch intercepts in time and snaps his fingers.

Butch went for a Moonsault, misses then gets chopped by Gunther onto the commentary table. He bounced right on there… Ha! Gunther sidesteps away in time and sends Butch into McIntyre instead.

Drew wanted to share some words with Butch, but Sheamus prevents him from distracting his friend. Unfortunately, Sheamus meets with a Glasgow Kiss courtesy of McIntyre. So that leaves Ridge Holland to get involved with Drew, yet he swiftly hits the post. Sheamus charges and knocks McIntyre with a knee.

Back in the ring, Gunther turns Butch inside out with a wicked clothesline then The Last Symphony for a victory. Now the only question that remains is, was the Claymore that Drew gave Gunther meant for Sheamus, or was it rightfully sent?

Winner: Gunther 

A match this Monday between Sikoa and Rhodes has been made official. Whoo! Also next week, McIntyre and Sheamus go against Giovanni Vinci and Ludwig Kaiser a few hours before WrestleMania. Another surprise, we’re getting the Andre the Giant Battle Royal next Friday. Aren’t we excited?! I’m happy to see people like Johnny Gargano, Dolph Ziggler, Mustafa Ali, Madcap Moss, Dexter Lumis, Elias, Bobby Lashley competing for the illustrious prize.

As we get into the KO Show, Owens invites Sami Zayn to the stage. Once I see his new theme music display, I couldn’t be happier that it looks much better now than it did prior.

Owens and Zayn have made their intentions clear, and they want a match for the Undisputed Tag Team Championship titles against the Usos at Mania. Can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Will it be Zayn and Owens, or will the Usos remain the best this industry has ever welcomed?

You know, I didn’t think they were going to argue about something other than beating the Usos, but Owens claims that Sami “wanted his own pop” rather than the duo coming out together. Zayn reminds him that he’s a guest on the show, so maybe coming out separately was better. It’s all good though, the crowd loved it.

Listen, Sami says that he and Owens are on the verge of winning the Undisputed Championships, yet all you can hope for is try. And try they will. We’re not Saturday, nor Sunday yet. Calm your tits, Sami, for a second. Mind you, he’s allowed to be ecstatic, I’m not diminishing that.

And speaking of glorious moments, Kevin gifts Sami a new shirt since this year, Mania is different. Zayn is Owens’ MVP. The front of the shirt says “WrestleZaynia Goes Hollywood” while the back says “KOMania Goes Hollywood”. That’s cute.

Want to know what else is cute? The Usos jumping Owens and Zayn from behind, of course. Doi. A double Super Kick to Kevin, and the One D to Sami. Ha! The twins scattered after they saw Owens marching back in with a chair.

The damage has been done already.


TOP PHOTO: Rey Mysterio. Courtesy of WWE