Literally as soon as we arrive, Alex Kane is already taking over the screen to further establish how c-listed the British Bulldogs really are. As if I need a reminder of how somewhat scared the Bomaye Fight Club is. Ha!
After that highly unnecessary display of male dominance, the Bulldogs do show up and a brawl commences at the entryway. Apparently it’s about respect and family that they’re all fighting like children on a playground. Kane gets knocked out so severely by Davey Boy Smith Jr. that his eyes roll to the back of his head and his tongue shoots out. Ha! Wow.
Delirious & Mini Abismo Negro vs. Microman & Lince Dorado – Tag Team match
The bell rings, and we are underway. Delirious dives in after Dorado three times, but fails to actually grab the guy. It almost felt like an accident on Delirious’ part. Ha!
Dorado snatches Delirious by his beard to drag him into a headlock that’s followed by a crossbody off the second rope then a drop kick to the chest. I thought I was hallucinating at some point when I noticed that Delirious is barefooted. Why? Some people wrestle barefooted, true, but they wrap their feet with some sort of black stretchy band, like Solo Sikoa or Samoa Joe, that I overlook the fact they’re not wearing shoes… I can’t ignore the very real possibility that his feet smash into other people’s faces. Is that what you want? Someone’s feet nearly in your mouth?… Eek.
The majority of this match was a bunch of ineffectual grandstanding just to bask in the crowds’ chanting or roaring. They wanted Microman to get in this, so Lince tags him. As soon as Micro comes into the ring, he and Delirious are simply staring at each other for a while till he tags Negro in and delivers a big boot to the World’s Greatest Wonder. Honestly, finally.
Microman manages to arm drag Mini right into the corner. That was good for the time being until Mini delivers a chop to the chest. Microman comes back with a few headbutts, knocking Negro down.
Delirious is back into the frame as he steps on Microman’s stomach in the middle of the ring then he sits on the small Luchador’s back, taunting Lince.
Dorado leaps in and performs a beautiful Moonsault on top of Mini. Lince was getting ready to suicide dive, but Delirious, whose on the outside, causes him to fall backwards. Missing his shot.
Lince was left on his own at some point as he takes both Delirious and Mini down with a double neck breaker.
What surprised me the most during this match was the glitching two second clip of three men wearing gas masks lurking somewhere on the premises backstage. Ooh. They looked like they were leading some kind of invasion. What’s going on?
Back inside the ring, Dorado looks to make a desperate tag, so he does. Microman performs a double 6.19 to Delirious and Mini then watches them scatter.
Microman had Delirious in his sights, but he didn’t count on Negro to suddenly kick him in the face then drive him head first against the mat. Delirious was at the top, preparing to make a splash, Lince shoves Microman aside, so he could take the hit.
Dorado wipes Delirious out on the outside. Microman stacks Mini up with a roll for a successful win.
Oh my God. I was right, it was an invasion. Those guys in the gas masks attack Dorado, Microman and Mister Laurent as the lights lit back up. They’re called “Entities” by the commentators. One of them leaves their calling card on top of Mircoman’s shoulder as they loom over. I thought there was only one, but now there’s three?
Winners: Microman & Lince Dorado
After he became the recent receiver of cryptic presents and/or attacks, Hammerstone still hasn’t solved the mystery behind the squid or octopus they gave him last week. However, he believes the one who gave him the white box was Jacob Fatu. The Samoan SWAT Team. Ha! I think not.
What followed after Mance Warner hit Real1 with his car, sending him to the hospital, Warner was caught by the authorities. An Exclusive shows that he is now out on bail. His friends were staggeringly glad of what Warner did.
Kayla Kassidy vs. Billie Starkz
I haven’t seen a lot of girl wrestling, so I’m glad that’s what we’re getting this evening. A couple of debuting stars here with Kassidy and Starkz. Apparently, Kayla has been really pissy because fans haven’t been paying attention to her debut, rather Billie’s. She’s described as snotty, pompous and vindictive. I didn’t know why the audience were booing when she came out, but now, I get it.
Once the bell rings, Kassidy strikes big, and strikes hard with a thrust kick to the jaw of Billie. Kayla had Starkz unbalanced for a moment till her opponent delivers a back elbow to her face followed by a less than stellar suicide dive. You tried, honey. That’s all I can say on the matter.
Billie is at the top, Kassidy quickly meets her there, and yanks her legs, so Starkz could bump her head against the turnbuckle. An awkward landing to say the least. Kayla furthers her aggression by swiping Billie’s legs out of the way, grabs her hair then hauls her down.
A lot of Kassidy’s attacks were aimed at Billie’s neck and head. I can’t imagine the headache she’ll get tomorrow. Yikes. I’m dealing with sore thighs as it is.
Kayla was preparing for a suplex, shockingly, Billie swiftly reverses it on her. Starkz connects with a knee to the jaw of Kayla. She continues to gain the upper hand with multiple kicks to Kayla’s chest. Billie rocked the ring with German suplexes to her opponent.
Starkz impressed me when she manages to dodge whatever Kayla was planning on doing resulting in Kassidy sitting on top Billie’s shoulders as she wins on her debut with a Driver. That was a nice one!
Taya Valkyrie is here too, by the way. She’s ecstatic that her husband, Johnny Fusion better known now as John Hennigan, is having the title match he deserves. “Don’t be jealous because you’re not waking up next to him!” She says.
Valkyries swooshes Billie away again when she said she can respect Taya from the video studies she’s done on the Featherweight Champion. Whoever said that Taya is showing signs of becoming a mean girl is starting to be correct.
Winner: Billie Starkz
Since the Bomaye Fight Club don’t brawl for free, Alex Kane issues a deal for Davey Boy Smith Jr. If his cousins, Mark and Thomas Billington, can beat Myron Reed and Mr. Thomas next week then, and only then, will Davey get to fight Kane in a prize match to win some money.
Elsewhere, EJ Nduka is relentlessly searching for Jacob Fatu with a steel chair in hand. That doesn’t help him though once Juicy Finau heavily collides with EJ’s ass against the wall. Ha! Ha! Ha! Nduka does wobble his way up to engage in a tussle with Juicy.
Davey Richards (c) vs. John Hennigan – MLW National Openweight Championship match
Accompanied to the ring by Taya Valkyrie and Cesar Duran, John Hennigan makes his way to the mat.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Hennigan quickly charges Davey and misses because of Richards impeccable dodging skills. Richards follows his defense with offence. Harsh punches to the mid-section of John, headbutts and stomps. Hennigan bounces off the ropes, and Davey knees him in the gut.
Davey is said to have strong legs as he unloads kick after kicks to Hennigan’s jaw and chest.
Hennigan stole someone’s PAID food to use as a weapon to create some separation between him and Richards. Ha! What? Wasted delights.
As Davey attempts to charge John as he stood on the apron, Hennigan uses his wife, Taya, as a human shield, so he could kick Richards. Commentary believes it wasn’t Valkyrie’s idea…
Hennigan has his leg trapped in Davey’s clutches with nowhere to go as Richards twists it brutality in front of Duran and Valkyrie. Davey may have missed the double stomp, but he counters with a submission move for more effectiveness. Given Hennigan couldn’t reach the bottom rope, Duran pushes it forward, so he could latch onto it. Saving his ass from tapping. Arg.
Later on, it became a game of leg kicking. A knee to Davey’s face. A low kick to Hennigan. A flying off the ropes kick to the side of Davey’s head for a failed cover. Regardless of all this, Hennigan is still favoring his knee due to earlier. Richards could capitalize on it.
Richards wanted to suplex Hennigan onto concrete floor after her removed the padding, but John was able to save himself momentarily from harm by becoming heavy. No matter the efforts, Davey is persistent to knock Hennigan off the apron with multiple running kicks to the side of his John’s head.
Richards had Hennigan up, but Taya pulled his leg, and he fell under John’s body that looked like a cover. Luckily, Davey is still in this match.
Hennigan misses with a Starship because of Davey’s impeccable what? Dodging skills, exactly. You were paying attention.
Every move Davey does, he wasted no time. The double stomp to the Brain Buster to an ankle lock to finally the Texas Clover Leaf. That might have put Hennigan away, unfortunately, Duran distracts the ref, so Taya could use her title as a weapon to Davey’s shoulder blades, breaking the submission.
I was soo mad and perplexed when that was enough for a three count and a victory for Hennigan. Is this really how you want to win? Really? The fans seem to agree with me.
Valkyrie said earlier that she and Hennigan will be a championship couple. I thought maybe one day, regrettably that was today.
Winner: John Hennigan
TOP PHOTO: Cesar Duran, John Hennigan and Taya Valkyrie celebrating. Courtesy of MLW