What’s up friends,
As I enter SmackDown, the opening they had for tonight had me in great spirits just by listening to it. As if that’s enough to keep me from spreading pettiness like butter on toast.
Solo Sikoa & Sami Zayn vs. Madcap Moss & Ricochet – Tag Team match
Given how much grovelling Sami has been doing at the feet of The Bloodline this team up of Zayn and Sikoa was bound to happen. It’s sad, really. I’m forcing myself to admit that Zayn used to be a strategist and analyzer. Where did that go? Maybe, Kevin Owens, Moss and Rico weren’t jabbering nonsense on how Sami’s passion has decreased due to his association with The Bloodline.
As we start this match, Sami tumbles with Rico. Rico uses his acrobatics to disorient Sami.
Madcap uses his teammate as a bullet to fire upon Sami and Solo wobbling outside the ring as Rico lands on them.
Solo is seen as a very dangerous opponent as he performs a Samoan Drop on Ricochet for a close pin. Siko dismantles Rico with a senton on Ricochet’s chest until Rico flies off the top rope to land on top of Sikoa.
Solo was so pissed with Moss at some point that he takes hold of a steel chair and climbs back into the ring but Rico rushes to stop him from getting in. Madcap uses Sikoa’s abrupt halt to ram himself into Solo’s face, flinging him over.
Ricochet goes flying into a chair and is thrown into the timekeeper’s area by Solo, the official didn’t see it, shockingly unsurprising.
Sikoa hits a spin kick on Madcap and then plants him with a Spinning Solo for the win.
Winners: Solo Sikoa & Sami Zayn
Backstage, Jey, who wasn’t supposed to be here tonight because he and his brother won their match last week and deserved some rest, appeared tonight to see how Solo is doing.
Jey gives Zayn some grief as he heads into The Bloodline’s locker room. He won’t have it if Sami is trying to break the bonds the Usos, Reigns and Sikoa have.
Karrion Kross warns McIntyre that he will end him at Extreme Rules one week from now. Darkness has descended upon the Scottish warrior with straps to compliment the match.
Oh, by the way… what happened to Theory? Well, he is back to complain on the microphone. If you could see me I’m shaking in my skin as if I’ve been willingly sitting in a freezer. He hasn’t cashed in his bank money for the Undisputed Championship since he claims he was ambushed twice already.
But we’re not here for that, we’re here because Theory thinks that McIntyre was stupid during his match in Wales against Roman because he didn’t see Solo Sikoa coming. Following Theory’s ass-like attitude, he finds himself in a match against Drew since he wasn’t far away from Theory’s rambling. Drew was already fed up with sneak attacks. Theory just added to his frustration.
Drew McIntyre vs. Theory
Since Theory is like a worst version of Dolph Ziggler, he flees back into the ropes, so the referee could back McIntyre up. Like the blue and yellow insect that he is. He’s friends with Alpha Academy, obviously.
Anyway, Theory comes in with a quick drop kick to McIntyre’s face before pounding away at Drew’s head. Theory doesn’t see it coming as McIntyre rises up from the attack to deliver a Future Shock DDT before a beautiful kip up.
Drew was about to bring Theory into Claymore Country, yet he got interrupted by Chad Gable as he arm drags Gable into the ring. Otis also interferes by taking hold of McIntyre’s ankles, pulls him out of the ring then sending him into the stairs resulting in a disqualification.
It became a 3-on-1 assault on McIntyre… it felt like it was over for him. The next thing you know both Johnny Gargano and Kevin Owens arrive to assists Drew.
I’m not sure if anyone else saw this kid in a red T-shirt waving a sign with the words “Hi dad from jail” written on it. It surprised me.
Winner: Drew McIntyre (via disqualification)
Max Dupri is pissed due to his Maximum Male Models’ defeat last week. I must say, it was beyond sad for the models. Hit Row was passing by and caught the Models trying to beak the record for the longest pose in Canada, as if anyone gives a damn. Oof.
Anyway, Shotzi can’t wait to knock Bayley down to size later tonight. Damage Control won’t know the real meaning of damage until Shotzi is in the ring.
Los Lotharios vs. Hit Row – Tag Team match
Ashante and Angel start this battle with a couple of brutal punches to the face before Angel pushes his opponent into his corner where Humberto tags himself in to help deliver double the torment to Ashante.
Angel later removes his pants like he usually does and throws them to Top Dolla’s face which he promptly returns in a fit of disgust. Apparently, that’s Corey Graves’ favourite part… uh, no.
Angel has Ashante in a vertical position, Ashante swiftly turns it into a nice neck breaker. Top Dolla bulldozes Humberto on his way in with shoulder tackles and running knees to the face.
Dolla had Humberto’s shoulders down and ready for a win until Angel broke the pin and he went even further as he attempts to flirt with B-Fab standing at ringside. She gets rightfully pissed and just as she tried to slap Angel, he dodges by backing up into Dolla.
Dolla picks Humberto and Angel up then smashes them onto their backsides before he and Ashante perform their Heavy Hitter move for a successful end to this match.
Winners: Hit Row
Kayla Braxton interviews Ronda Rousey backstage in the locker room asking her what she thought about Liv Morgan’s extreme awakening on Lacey Evans last Friday. Rousey isn’t impressed because anyone can wield a kendo stick and pull out a table to crash into but Ronda isn’t the “baddest woman on the planet” for nothing.
Natalya vs. Ronda Rousey
This is the night Nattie will beat some respect into Rousey.
Nattie takes the fight to Ronda with a Sharpshooter but Ronda escapes.
Ronda was looking for a step up knee smash but Nattie grabs onto Rousey and throws her onto her back harshly. The two women are in a battle of submission moves.
A wicked clothesline by Nattie to Ronda’s throat almost pinned yet she kicks out of Nattie’s cover.
Ronda puts Nattie in an ankle lock. Natalya taps out.
Liv Morgan shows up with a basketball bat to show Ronda she can be extreme but apparently Rousey still has lots of energy left and plants Morgan with a Piper’s Pit on the floor.
The chaos between these two was so amazing, I was raving in it. Absolutely loved it! For some odd reason, seeing people brawl to that extent is enthralling to me. The officials trying to separate them is a painful to watch.
Winner: Ronda Rousey
Imperium is here to convince us that the The Brawling Brutes don’t possess the quality of a champion. Gunther has the status of a champion. Uh… well, maybe.
Sheamus didn’t take too kindly to those comments, so he beats Giovanni and Kaiser on a solo mission to get to Gunther, which he does with a good amount of force, but that’s swiftly taken down once Vinci and Ludwig assault Sheamus.
I know how brutal Sheamus really is, but I didn’t think he’d welcome another beating with a panting smile on his face. Gunther used Sheamus’ shillelagh as a weapon to his upcoming opponent’s jaw. Ouch, but also, wow on Sheamus’ part.
Shotzi vs. Bayley
I was left in shock when Shotzi came out in her “taking care of business” tank and shot fireworks. I loved it.
Shotzi had Bayley during this match with counter after counter, jump kicks, roll ups, punches and throws, but apparently, it wasn’t enough to succeed over Bayley.
A Rose Plant by Bayley to Shotzi’s face granted her a win, yet Bayley isn’t finished. She pulls a ladder from under the ring, arranges Shotzi in-between and attempts to jump off from the top rope… until Bianca Belair swoops in to stop Bayley from ending Shotzi’s career.
Bianca scared Bayley as a reminder of Belair’s power and endurance as we head to Extreme Rules.
Kevin Owens, Drew McIntyre & Johnny Gargano vs. Theory & Alpha Academy – 6-man tag team match
Theory and Gargano used to wrestle together back at NXT, so this match came as a surprise and a future prediction. Gargano rolls out of Theory’s hold on him then lands a kick to the side of his opponent’s face.
Theory retaliates by sending Gargano over the ropes, yet he didn’t count on Johnny launching himself through the rope creating a spear-like move. It didn’t take long for Chad to interfere before being thrown outside as Drew takes a shot at Otis as well.
Kevin also delivers a chaotic Cannonball move to both Gable and Theory wobbling like cooked noodles at ringside.
Once whatever order was established, Kevin is tagged in by Gargano to take on Gable with a wicked close line and a Running Senton.
More havoc erupts as Gargano and Owens team up at the announcers’ table to Super Kick Otis in the jaw to shield McIntyre. They have Otis on the table, prepared to be slumped, til suddenly Chad comes in to save his partner by throwing Gargano away like a used tissue paper and crash Owens on his back.
Johnny illuminates us with a Tornado DDT to Otis while Kevin gives a hellish Stunner to Gable prior to McIntyre’s mid-air Claymore to Theory for a victory.
I saw something weirdly funny, right after McIntyre performs a Claymore to Theory, I promise you it looked like Theory was smiling as he’s being squished under Drew’s body. Ha! Ha! Ha!
And just when the win wasn’t exhilarating enough, for me anyway, McIntyre whips Theory with a leather strap as he bounces around like a cat on acid.
Winners: Johnny Gargano, Drew McIntyre & Kevin Owens
TOP PHOTO: Liv Morgan looking on Ronda Rousey with a basketball bat in hand. Courtesy of WWE