Is today April Fools Day? Was this some kid’s Make-a-Wish dream? Did his old gimmick come into play and people actually confused Brian Myers for Edge? Did the forbidden door hit Scott D’Amore in the head and knock him senseless to the point that he forgot that Brian Myers has been booked as pretty much a mid-carder since coming into Impact wrestling last year?

Because if it wasn’t one of those things, there’s really no explanation how Myers was booked to win the battle royal on tonight’s episode of Impact and become the number one contender for the Impact World Championship.

I repeat.

Brian Myers.

The Number One Contender.

For the World Championship.

Brian.

Myers.

It was a baffling way to end a show that was otherwise very much a build-up / commercial for a number of upcoming events: tomorrow night’s AEW Rampage premiere episode; this Saturday’s Impact-Plus streaming special Emergence, also this Saturday’s New Japan Pro-Wrestling Resurgence show, and the August 28th NWA Powerrr all women’s show. Surprisingly, as much as there was to focus on, the show still worked.

Well, for the most part. The exception being… well, you know.

On the BTI preview show, Sam Adonis pulled the tights to roll up Joeasa for a cheap win. This was the Impact debut of both wrestlers. In what appeared to be a botched graphic, Joeasa’s name on the match graphic was printed as “Joesea”, though his entrance video spelled it Joeasa. Oops.

The main show started off with clips from last night’s AEW Dynamite, where Don Callis and The Elite faced off with Christian Cage, and it was announced that Cage would challenge Kenny Omega for the Impact World Championship this Friday on the premiere episode of AEW Rampage.

 

Match 1: Tenille Dashwood (w/ Kaleb) vs. Taylor Wilde

Taylor completely out-wrestled Tenille in the opening minutes, and was savvy enough to even thwart some interference by Kaleb. Until she couldn’t. Eventually, the numbers game caught up to her, and Tenille was able to take over, hitting Wilde with some hard shots, including ramming her face into the turnbuckles with authority, and hitting her trademark Low Cross Body in the corner. Taylor was eventually able to fight her way back into it, but Kaleb again got involved, breaking up a sure pin. When Wilde went after him, Kaleb tried to spray her in the eyes with an aerosol spray, but she moved and the referee got blinded instead. Wilde went after Kaleb again, but then was attacked from behind by a returning Madison Rayne.

 

She clocked Taylor and slid out of the ring, leaving Wilde prone for a Spotlight kick by Dashwood. The referee was oblivious to the outside interference as he was washing out his eyes. By the time he turned around, he only saw Wilde down and counted the pin. After the match, Dashwood seemed confused by Rayne’s return and actions. But her confusion was only a ruse, as they celebrated their devious plan with an embrace.

This was a good, fairly standard match that went longer than most recent show openers. Wilde hasn’t really lost a step despite her lengthy absence, and was a good opponent for Dashwood’s style. Madison Rayne is this year’s nominee for the Terry Funk Shortest Retirement award.

Winner: Tenille Dashwood

A hype video aired for tonight’s 20-man Battle Royal, the winner of which will become the number one contender for the Impact World Championship and will face either Christian Cage or Kenny Omega at Emergence on August 20th. A number of the participants spoke, each one predicting they would win.

 

Match 2: Daivari vs. Josh Alexander

Alexander’s X-Division Championship was not on the line in this one. After a bit of a feeling-out process, Alexander hit the first big move of the match with a huge Pump Kick to Daivari’s face. This prompted Jake Something – who will challenge Alexander for the title at Emergence – to come to the entrance ramp to get a closer look at Alexander. Alexander was in control of the match after we returned from the commercial break. He momentarily threw some shade at Jake and Daivari took advantage, hitting Alexander with some heavy boots and then battering him around ringside. The match went back and forth for some time, until Alexander finally came back with some fire. He hit a trio of German Suplexes and ended things with the C-4 Spike to get the win. After the match, Something stormed into the ring and roughly handed Alexander his title in a show of toughmanship.

This was another pretty standard match, and no surprise with these two that everything looked crisp and well-executed.

Winner: Josh Alexander

A promo video aired for the upcoming Cage-Omega title match, with brief predictions from AEW announcer Tony Schiavone, Sami Callihan, Ace Austin, Deonna Purrazzo, Matt Cardona, Jim Ross, and Brian Myers.

A video package aired for New Japan Pro-Wrestling’s Resurgence show that takes place in Los Angeles this Saturday. At that show, David Finlay challenges Jay White for the Never Openweight Championship, Impact Tag Team Champions the Good Brothers face off against AEW’s Jon Moxley and a mystery partner in a non-title match, and  IWGP US Heavyweight Champion Lance Archer defends against Hiroshi Tanahashi.

The Good Brothers cut a promo about their Emergence title match, a three-way tag match against Violent By Design and Rich Swann & Willie Mack. VBD interrupted them, and Eric Young told them that the world belonged to VBD. The Good Brothers demanded to know which two VBD members would be facing them. Also, Doc Gallows challenged Joe Doering to a match next week, and Eric Young accepted on Doering’s behalf.

Kiera Hogan came to the ring and took the mic. She was upset that Tasha Steelz turned on her last week with the help of Savannah Evans. She challenged Steelz and Evans to come to the ring. But instead of them, Su Yung came out, along with the undead Kimber Lee. Yung directed Lee towards the ring, and she came in and attacked Hogan.

Hogan fought back and knocked Lee down. She then turned her attention to Yung who was still on the entrance ramp. Yung put on a glove, and apparently was controlling Lee who stood up behind Hogan’s back and put on a glove at the same time. Hogan turned around and Lee clamped on the Mandible Claw, incapacitating Hogan. Lee rolled Hogan out of the ring, and then dragged her by her hair back up the ramp, while Hogan shrieked in terror.

 

In the dressing room, Don Callis and Kenny Omega complained about Impact and AEW management, and accused them of teaming up in order to usurp Kenny as champion of both companies. They said that it didn’t matter what Tony Khan and Scott D’Amore did, but Kenny would hold the titles forever.

 

Match 3: The Bullet Club (Chris Bey and Jay White) vs. FinJuice

Finlay and White started off the match, offering a preview of their Resurgence match. Eventually, Bey came in, and after a bit of dynamics, he dropped Juice with a big Flying Elbow to the back of Juice’s head. White then took over, battering Juice silly with an arsenal of physical attacks. Bey and White beat up Juice for a while, but he was eventually able to escape and get the tag to Finlay who came in hot. After a bit, all four men were in there, and the action got faster and more flurried. Eventually, Finlay was able to send White to the floor, and then he and Juice put Bey down with a Doomsday Device. But before the ref’s hand could hit the mat for a third time, White ran in with a chair and clocked Juice with a chair, leading to a disqualification.

After the match, White threw a chair into Finlay’s face, knocking him out. He then hit Finlay with a Blade Runner (basically, a Sister Abigail) onto a chair, and then sat on Finlay’s chest and posed with his title.

 

This was a good match and a good commercial for the NJPW show. I still am underwhelmed by White and FinJuice overall, but this match and the closing angle were pretty effective.

Winners, by disqualification: FinJuice

Gia Miller interviewed Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans about their attack on Kiera Hogan last week. Steelz said that Hogan was no longer bringing the heat to Fire N Flava, so she had to go. Steelz said that she brought in Evans to basically act as her hired muscle.  Fallah Bahh entered and asked Steelz for help in dealing with Rosemary and Havok. Steelz said that she had a problem with those two, since they were holding “her” Knockouts Tag Team Championship.

Gia Miller interviewed Melina, who will be challenging Deonna Purrazzo for the Knockouts Championship at NWA EmPowerrr on August 28. Melina said she was grateful that after 20 years in wrestling, she was now having the chance to see all these women’s divisions interacting with one another in inter-promotional matches. Purrazzo came in and mocked Melina, saying that Melina’s humility and gratitude was pathetic. And that she was training with Invicta FC Atomweight Champion, MMA fighter Alesha Zappitella.  Purrazzo showed some footage of her training with Alesha. Purrazzo came across as a total babyface in the training video, which is often the case whenever she is not heeling it up in character. At some point, they should just let her naturally be herself, as that authenticity is very refreshing. Melina said that she would give Purrazzo her own preview – when Melina competes on Impact next week.

AEW backstage interviewer Alex Marvez interviewed Christian Cage about his upcoming match with Omega. Cage said that he was going to take Kenny Omega’s entire belt collection, starting with the Impact one tomorrow. Cage paid credit to Impact for all of the opportunities the company gave him, and he would show his thanks by returning to the Impact Zone next week. With the title. And would stand face-to-face with the winner of tonight’s battle royal. Good promo by Christian.

 

Match 4: Matt Cardona vs. John Skyler

Cardona dominated Skyler for several minutes, starting things off with a dropkick at the bell, and never really stopping with the beatdown. Skyler had a short burst of offense at one point, sweeping Cardona’s leg and sending him hard on the apron, and then hitting a Springboard Torpedo Shoulder Block. But that didn’t last too long, and soon Cardona downed him again. About this time, Shera and Rohit Raju came down to the ring. Cardona turned his attention to them, and this allowed Skyler to hit Cardona with a big Jumping Knee to the face and roll him up for the upset win. After the match, Shera and Raju gloated while Cardona was angry in the ring.

This was fine for what it was, and everyone played their role correctly.

Winner: Matt Cardona

 

Match 5: 20-Man Battle Royal to determine the Number One Contender for the Impact World Championship

Eddie Edwards, Moose, and Sami Callihan got televised entrances for this one, suggesting that one of them will likely win the match.

  1. Morrissey was positioned really strong early on, dispatching Suicide, Johnny Swinger, and Hernandez in the first minute of the match. After that, a contingent of the remaining competitors all swarmed him, but he shook them off. A second wave of the bigger participants then came at him, and eventually everyone joined forces to eliminate Morrissey, as the show went to commercial.

Nobody was eliminated during the break, which seems like a wasted opportunity, since nothing particularly exciting was happening when the show came back on. But then Petey Williams took Sam Beale to the apron and was going to hit him with a Canadian Destroyer, but instead, Steve Maclin ran down to the ring and pulled Petey down to the floor, eliminating him and then laying the boots on him for good measure.

Rich Swann and Deaner fought on the apron with Swann eliminating Deaner with a big kick to the face. Swann tried to go back into the ring, but Deaner grabbed his leg, trapping Swann and leaving him open for the GORE GORE GORE by Rhino, and Swann was eliminated. But then Willie Mack came up behind Rhino and threw him out. Nice sequence.

 

Mad Man Fulton and Ace Austin worked together to eliminate No Way, but they didn’t have as much luck with Fallah Bahh; Fulton actually sacrificed himself to save Austin and ended up getting tossed out by the big man.

 

But before Bahh could celebrate, Moose was able to muscle him over the top.

Brian Myers and his protégé Sam Beale had each other’s backs. Well, kind of. Myers actually used Beale’s body as a weapon to eliminate Trey Miguel. Beale later paid the price for saving Myers from elimination courtesy of a huge chop to the chest by Eddie Edwards, who got sent out of the ring shortly thereafter by Moose.

Sabin and Moose both slid under the bottom rope and started fighting on the floor.

Meanwhile, Myers backstabbed his flunky when he unceremoniously threw Beale over the top. Even the commentators noted how stupid this was since he could no longer use Beale as a human shield. He paid for the short-sightedness when he ate a Cactus Special from Sami Callihan.

After that, Austin and Sami went at it, fighting it out on the apron. It looked like Austin was going to go flying off, but Fulton ran over to save Austin, seating Austin on his shoulders to prevent Austin’s feet from hitting the floor. But Sami kept attacking and he clotheslined Austin off of Fulton’s shoulders, sending Austin tumbling in a Doomsday Device style fall to the floor – that was scary, as it looked like Austin nearly landed on his head.

After that, Moose ran into the ring and Speared Sami off the apron to the floor. But then Sabin ran into the ring and he and Moose duked it out in the middle of the ring. Moose planted Sabin with a huge Uranage, then picked Sabin up with the intention of slamming him over the rope to the floor. Sabin floated over, but hung off of Moose’s back and locked on a Sleeper. As Moose tried to fight it, he walked towards the ropes, and then leaned on the top rope with Sabin still on his back.

 

And then Brian Myers got up, ran behind them, and flipped them both over the top rope to win the battle royal.

Yes. Brian Myers is the number one contender for the Impact World Championship. And with that news, and in between the yawns that Myers always elicits, the show comes to a close.

Other than the questionable decision to put Brian Myers anywhere near a main event program – seriously, does anyone buy him as a viable contender for either Omega or Christian? –  this was a good battle royal. They used the match to further some feuds, advance some storylines, and continue building up stars. But, of course, that’s all counter-balanced by Brian Myers winning.

Winner: Brian Myers