So the sweet couple of Stephanie McMahon and Paul Levesque, aka Hunter Hearst Helmsley, are tying the knot on October 25, 2003. The staff at SLAM! Wrestling are thrilled for the couple. Even though we mailed off presents back in November 29, 1999 when they married for the first time in Las Vegas while Steph was drunk, we’re more than happy to do it again. However, having looked over their gift registry at Williams-Sonoma, we thought that their list was a little crazy and hardly reflects the personalities of the two lovable lovebirds. So, we come up with our own gift list. Have a read, and maybe you’ve got something to add too!

Illustration by Annette Balesteri,

From Greg Oliver:
Pump up your love (muscles)!
Nothing says love like a Silca Pista Floor Pump. It works on bikes, boobs, man boobs and anything else that needs pumping up in a relationship.

From Mike Altamura:
Monitor Your Heart!
If you’re interested in monitoring your heart then the Ciclosport HAC 4 Heartrate Computer is definitely for you. Not only can it detect the heart-rate of medically enhanced human beings, it also perpetuates through minerals such as silicon.

From Jason Clevett:
Your greatest fan
This 52″ capri ceiling fan, made of mahogany blades and a shiny metal base, is sure to suck the heat out of any crowd!

From Bob Kapur:
Lay down and see the sky!
How about a gift certificate for the installation of a skylight? Protect yourself with an indestructible glass ceiling.

Jon Waldman:
Take protection
Well, the last thing that dear old Stephanie would want is to become pregnant on her wedding night. After all, Stephanie and her supportive husband would have to take time off from WWE to nurture their newborn, and lord konws that RAW and Smackdown! could not survive without them! So what better way to prevent everyone’s “favourite” diva and the leader of Evolution from having to take maternity and paternity leaves than giving the happy couple this gift… a Stone Cold Steve Austin Condom!.

Jason Clevett
Learn to charm the snake!
The perfect wedding gift idea comes directly from Jake “The Snake” Roberts. What happy couple doesn’t want to open up a box and discover a reptile? This attractive female cape cobra’s venom surely isn’t any worse than anything else that may be injected!!!

But seriously, folks. If you want to give them a serious gift, head to Williams-Sonoma’s gift registry. The happy couple are registered in Connecticut.