So John Powell has decided to be Shawn Michaels this month, deciding to take a vacation instead of doing the job. So you\’re stuck with me this month as VENGEANCE IS MINE!!!!!! (I\’ve always wanted to say that.)

I don\’t know if the apathy I am sensing from you is for me covering or at the thought of two matches with McMahons in them, but last night‚s Vengeance Pay Per View in the other side of the Rockies from me in Denver, Colorado was the best PPV offering since Wrestlemania.

Unlike last month\’s Bad Blood that relied heavily on skits involving co-GM\’s Bischoff and Austin, Vengeance kept the action to the ring and it paid off.

The main event of the evening featured Kurt Angle hitting his Angle Slam on The Big Show, then catching Lesnar in the move and getting a surprise pinfall. Kudos to the three SLAM! Staff who guessed this one, because I didn\’t see it coming.

The no disqualification match started off with a stare down between Angle and Lesnar, before they both went after Show. The big man sent Kurt to the outside and chokeslammed Lesnar right off the bat for a near fall. Show dominated early on in the match with clotheslines and power moves. Lesnar came back with a shoulderblock off the second rope and tried for the F-5 but Show powered out of it. Angle retrieved Garbage Can lids and the dynamic duo took turns nailing the big challenger. Show came back and went for the Double-Chokeslam, but Angle and Lesnar teamed up to chokeslam him. Lesnar hit a proper F-5 on Show later (as opposed to the usual more DVDish version).

As the match continued, Angle ended up busted open. Show sat Lesnar on the top and started to climb. Angle\’s distraction provided for the first surreal spot of the match, as Lesnar slid to the mat and hit a running powerbomb on The Big Show. Angle broke up the pinfall with a chair shot, then took Lesnar out with a chair to the head busting him open as well. Angle and Show end up on the outside, and another holy crap moment happens with an Angle Slam through the Spanish announce table.

Lesnar and Angle crawled into the ring and made it to their feet, trading blows back and fourth. Lesnar teased an F-5 over the top rope to the floor, but instead just tosses Kurt over the top. Back in the ring, Lesnar took the sick looking face bump out of the German Suplex, but came back with a spinebuster. A bodyscissors was broken up by Show, who then hit the double-chokeslam. Lesnar kicked out, Show covered Angle for another two. After an ankle-lock was broken up, they went into the finish to end the spectacular match.

The other incredibly hyped match of the night was one-legged wonder Zack Gowan against Vince McMahon. Although at times slow, it was not nearly as awful as predicted and was a well-structured match. Vince overpowered Gowan during much of the match, and did the sensible thing by working on his leg. When Gowan retaliated, he had the crowd behind him as he hit one legged dropkicks, second rope legdrops, and Asai moonsaults. A moonsault only got a two count for Gowan. McMahon went for a chair late in the match and mistakenly held the sharp edge of the chair towards himself instead of the flat end when Gowan hit a one-legged Van-Daminator. The result was a nasty gash in the side of Vince\’s head that literally spurts blood. Zack missed corkscrew moonsault and McMahon made the cover for the pin. Gowan received a standing ovation from the crowd after the match. We know what wonders that did for Chris Benoit‚s career.

The next WWE pay-per-view is Summerslam, presented by RAW and Smackdown on August 24th.

Vengeance 2003 Results

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit for the vacant United States Championship.

  • Speaking of Benoit, he and Guerrero kicked things off with a fantastic opener. These two have wrestled in Japan, ECW, WCW and WWE, including at Armageddon this past December, but I never tire of seeing these two in the ring together. Lots of reversals and mat wrestling. The match reminds me of Black Tiger vs. Wild Pegasus in Japan. The crowd yelled \”two\” after every two count like Montreal, and do so all night. Many nice spots in this match, including Benoit hitting a suicide dive, a top rope back suplex and the triple-germans. Guerrero responds with his own version of the triple-suplex, that last off the top, but sort of missed the frog splash, hitting Benoit in the shoulder. The referee went down, and Guerrero did his usual pretend to be hit with the belt but the referee didn‚t wake up. Rhyno made a run in and gored Benoit, as Eddie cringed expecting an impact. Eddie gave a \”Oh well\” shrug and took advantage with a frog splash for the pin.

    Winner: …and new WWE United States Champion … Eddie Guerrero at 22:10

     

  • Match Rating: 10/10
  • We then get another oh so fun McMahon family segment. Stephanie seems like she is trying to cry over her Mom. This Monday, Vince WILL be on RAW to confront Kane. Yeehaw.

    Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble – If Noble wins Torrie sleeps with him on Smackdown.

  • If not for the upcoming Bar brawl, this would have been the worst match of the night. Billy Gunn looked like Bob Holly when he comes in. Jamie Noble came down with his \”Loooove case\” with assorted toys and oils. Gunn rushes him, ducks a swing with the case and gets it booted to his face. Gunn then opened the case and it does in fact have toys, not that I could recognize such a thing. There were banners for Wrestlemania hanging in the background during the show. Nidia came to the ring and put Gunn\’s leg on the rope during a pin attempt after a nice top rope DDT. Jamie, of course, was ticked off, Torrie came around, tried to slap him, and he kissed her. So Nidia slapped him, then Torrie slapped him. Noble entered the ring, was tripped by Wilson and so he dragged her onto the apron. In a messy finish, Gunn goes for his spinning Rock Bottom, Noble pushes him into Torrie, Gunn stops, holds her for a moment, then Noble rolls him up for a weak looking pin. Now thousands of men will turn in to Smackdown to see what happens∑ not.
  • Winner: Jamie Noble at 4:50 
  • Match Rating: 2/10

  • Funaki interviewed the APA, who invited him to the brawl. Then the Easter Bunny hops by. I wish I were making that up.
  • APA First Annual Barroom Brawl
  • The referee is the bartender for this time filler that features Matt Hardy, Spanky (Who dances on the bar as wrestlers come in, and why couldn‚t we have just seen those two wrestle instead?) The Conquistadors, The Bashams, Kanyon (Doing double duty, he lost to Ultimo Dragon on Heat) the Tough Enough 3 boys, Orlando Jones, the FBI, Sean O‚Haire, Funaki, Brother Love, Doink and the Easter Bunny. Yes, you read that right. There were no rules other than the last man left drinking was the winner, this was a boring, pointless comedy match that wasted some real talent, but provided some nice spots. Spanky went through a table, O\’Haire went nuts with pool cues, and Brother Love threw Shannon Moore through a mirror. A dead crowd gave a loud Hardy chant as he chugged a drink and ran off the apron, legdropping a Basham and Kanyon on the table. It didn‚t break so he splashed them. Funaki falls off his bar stool plastered, and Bradshaw knocks down Brother love to win, despite Faarooq still standing.
  • Winner: Bradshaw at 6 Minutes
  • Match Rating: 4/10 (For the spots)
  • Noble drools over Torrie\’s Playboy spread with a backstage tech. The tech asks about Nidia. \”She\’s hot now, but she\’ll get over it.\”

    The Worlds Greatest Tag Team (Champions) vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman (Challengers) (Smackdown Tag Title Match)

  • Cole brought up Rey and Kidman\’s tag championship past in the Filthy Animals. The challengers were both wearing white outfits to match. Lots of high flying and headscissors by the challengers before the champs took it to the mat. Kidman hit the \”BK bomb\” causing me to want Burger King. Rey hit a springboard to the outside, then Kidman hit the shooting star press off the ropes to the floor. Kidman was worked over, makes the tag and the ref missed it. Shelton proved that you can powerbomb Kidman, but Kidman then reversed the second attempt as usual. A series of hot moves lead to Rey running out of the corner and Kidman tossing him onto Shelton and then hitting a frankenstiener that everyone bought as the finish. The crowd chanted bulls*** at that. Rey tried for a victory roll, spins, and Benjamin jumped off the top with an inverted bulldog while Hass powerbombed Rey for the win. Kidman didn\’t turn heel as expected, and I want to see at least a few more matches between these teams.
  • Winner: … and still Smackdown Tag Team Champions: The Worlds Greatest Tag Team at 14:33 
  • Match Rating: 10/10

  • The new Summerslam ad features everyone panicking on a beach from a shark, and Brock Lesnar runs through the sand and F-5\’s the Shark. Kind of funny, actually.

    Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon

  • It\’s a no count out catfight, so Steph attacked Sable on the way to the ring and they brawled around the ring. Sable took over with hard kicks, before the inevitable hair toss by Stephanie. Not an awful match, despite weak punches, that played to the women‚s strengths and minimized their weaknesses. Stephanie tore at Sable\’s top, and while Sable was trying to get referee Brian Hebner to help her. Albert, for some reason, ran to the ring and mowed down Stephanie? Huh? Why Albert again?? Ever the gentleman, Hebner gave Sable the shirt off his back to cover her chest and makes the count while half naked.
  • Winner: Sable at 6:03 
  • Match Rating: 5/10

  • Undertaker vs. John Cena

  • Cena does another awesome rap at entrance. Taker didn\’t even drive his bike down, he just walked to the ring. Taker overpowered the young rapper to start, then Cena bailed to the outside, took a swig of water and sprayed it in his face. I like the fact that they talk about the history between Undertaker and Cena last year when Cena debuted and Taker gave him respect. Taker dominated the match and hit an early chokeslam, pulled him up at two, then went for the last ride but Cena reversed it into a DDT. Taker hit the exposed buckle and then Cena went to work on his midsection, leading to \”internal injuries\” and UT bleeding from the mouth. Cena continued to work that for the rest of the match. UT tried for the tombstone but couldn‚t due to his ribs and Cena punched him in the \”broken\” ribs with his chain and hit the F-U moments later. Undertaker kicked out, killing Cena‚s finisher. I fail to understand how, but he did. Cena scaled the buckles to punch Undertaker in the corner and is hit with the last ride for the pin. My disgust with Undertaker once again not putting over another rising star ruins an otherwise solid outing.
  • Winner: The Undertaker at 16:03 
  • Match Rating: 7.5/10

  • Vince McMahon vs. Zack Gowan

  • Winner: Vince McMahon at 14:02 
  • Match Rating: 6/10

  • Brock Lesnar (Champion) vs. Kurt Angle (Challenger) vs. Big Show (Challenger.) (WWE Championship Match.)

  • Winner: … and new WWE Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle at 17:20 
  • Match Rating: 10/10

  • Total Event Time: Two Hours and 43 Minutes
  • Overall Event Rating: 8.5/10 FEATURED LINK