All that was missing from Hollywood Hogan’s ring attire at WCW’s Halloween Havoc 97′ pay-per-view event were the yellow feathers and beak. Stick the “fearless” WCW World Heavywieght Champion in Farmer Joe’s chicken coop and he’d feel right at home. Based on his and WCW / nWo Vice President, Eric Bischoff’s last minute political maneuvering tonight, Hollywood surely could cluck with the best of them.

Three matches into the broadcast, Hogan and Bischoff took to the airwaves claiming that due to WCW’s negligence in providing the Champ with a “safe working environment”, Hogan wouldn’t wrestle Canada’s wrestling legend, Roddy Piper, in the main event cage match unless officials could guarantee that Sting wouldn’t show his Crow-painted face. Reading between the lines that means…Sting scares the crap outta Hollywood.

Calling Sting a coward, Hollywood feigned an apology on behalf of the WCW. “I feel bad that you’ve shortchanged the fans,” he said with the sincerity of a used car salesman.

There’s isn’t a chance Hogan won’t fight the rowdy Scotsman but we play along.

Commentators Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Dusty Rhodes and Tony Schivani throughout the night of squared circle mayhem, voiced their displeasure further hyping the tension surrounding the announcement.

J.J. Dillon, Chairman of WCW’s Executive Committee came out mid-way through the show signed contract in hand confirming that the match would commence as scheduled. Bischoff stormed out saying that if Sting did appear, the nWo wanted control of Monday Night Nitro as compensation.

“If you see Sting tonight, it will be in your nightmares,” replied Dillon.

Despite the excessive tongue-wagging, the no-rules, steel cage match between the two most recognizable icons in pro-wrestling occurred. As the cage lowered down from the ceiling, Hogan strutting to his ripped Jimi Hendrix tune, walking the aisle to the ring alone. On his way down, he grabbed a fan’s sign reading “WWF: Why Work For McMahon?”, waved it at the camera and laughed out loud.

The sound of bag pipes echoed throughout the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada, as Piper entered wearing Hogan’s WCW World Title belt he had requisitioned as the new WCW Commissioner. Piper purposely held Hollywood’s title high in the centre of the ring. Hogan kicked the cage and cursed.

A look of fear on his suntanned features, Hollywood sought to flee Piper early on by climbing the cage. Apparently, not having ate a big dinner, the “Rowdy One” bit Hogan’s butt, back and head. A reverse atomic drop and a double-slap to the head had the nWo leader reeling in the corner. Piper slapped his face stomping a mud hole in him. Again, Hollywood scurried up the cage. Piper brought him down with a punch to the “lower abdomen”.

At a mere three minutes in, both men went through the cage door together out onto the floor. Hogan slammed the cage door on Hot Rod’s head before crotching him on the guard rail. A vicious clothesline and Piper tumbled to the floor.

HAVOC“I’m outta here. I don’t need this crap,” grumbled Hogan as he strode to the entrance way to be cut off by a phony Sting pointing a baseball bat. Piper snuck up, hurling his opponent into the cage. Returning to the ring, Hollywood dinged Hot Rod’s noggin’ off the metal bars twice then scaled the structure. As Piper and Hogan traded blows while sitting atop the cage, five or six other fake-o Stings surrounded the ring to prevent the champ from dropping to the floor and winning the match. Using his weightlifting belt as a weapon, Hollywood whipped Piper who returned the favor by choking him with his own shirt.

Two of the champ’s trademarked running Leg Drops crashed down on Hot Rod’s throat yet he still kicked out. Realizing he was in it up to his eyeballs, Hollywood summoned help from the dressing room. In a breath-taking maneuver, “Macho Man” Randy Savage leapt off the very top of the 30-foot cage. The double-axe handle missed its intended target. Hogan was bonked instead. Piper fought off Savage, applied the Sleeper Hold and for the third straight time Hollywood submitted.

Hot Rod’s celebration looked more like a mugging. Hogan, Macho and Bischoff handcuffed Piper crucifixion-style to the cage. They beat on him relentlessly. A planted “Sting fan” entered the ring. Hogan and Macho tag-teamed the “fan” until security arrived on the scene to separate them while the announcing team sold the “Hogan pummeled an innocent Sting fan” angle.

The next WCW pay-per-view is World War Three on November 23rd.

WCW Halloween Havoc ’97 Results

Yugi Nagata Vs The Ultimo Dragon

: Raven and his “Nest” take their seats at ringside but don’t get involved during any of the bouts.
: The commentators hype the fact that bone spurs have the Dragon’s elbow hurting.
: Nagata wraps The Dragon’s arm around the steel post.
: Sonny Ono hands Nagata a cheque after The Dragon submits to an arm lock submission move. Ono karate kicks The Dragon’s arm. The announcers sell that it’s broken.

Winner: Yugi Nagata by submission at 9 minutes and 53 seconds.

Gedo Vs Chris Jericho

: An unadvertised-bonus match.
: Gedo misses a missile drop kick from the top rope. Jericho wraps him in the Lion Tamer.

Winner: Chris Jericho at 7 minutes and 17 seconds.

Rey Mysterio Jr. (Challenger) Vs Eddie “The Black Tiger” Guerrero (Champion) (Mask Vs Cruiserweight Title Match)

: Candidate for Match Of The Year.
: The crowd enthusiastically shouts…Eddie Sucks! Eddie Sucks!
: Rey Mysterio Jr. continues his fascination with incorporating his love of comic book / film superheros into his gimmick by tailoring tonight’s costume after The Phantom.
: Guerrero has Mysterio in the camel clutch and rips the mask.
: Mysterio rolls Guerrero up as he attempts a top rope maneuver and scores the pin.
: The fans rise to their feet in unison applauding Mysterio’s win and the hard work by the two wrestlers.
: Guerrero Pearl Harbors the new champ.

Winner: …and new WCW Cruiserweight Champion, Rey Mysterio Jr. at 10 minutes and 5 seconds.

Steve “Mongo” McMichael Vs Alex Wright

: We assume Wright is Debra’s new man.
: Debra distracts the ref. Bill Goldberg sneaks into the ring, Jackhammers Mongo and throws Wright on top for the 1-2-3. Debra gives Goldberg Mongo’s Super Bowl ring. Goldberg Jackhammers Wright.
: Debra now manages Goldberg.

Winner: Alex Wright (and Bill Goldberg) at 6 minutes and 27 seconds.

Disco Inferno Vs Miss Jacquelyn

: Not wanting to hit Jackie, Disco wastes the match ducking into the ropes and in and out of the ring to avoid her. The fans aren’t happy about it.
: Stevie Richards holds a sign up saying “Disco Vs Jackie: Girl Vs Girl?”
: “This is absurd,” comments Disco to the camera. He’s right.
: Jackie crotches Disco on the steel ring post (You knew THAT was coming.) and reverse rolls him for the humbling victory.

Winner: Miss Jackie at a slow-paced 9 minutes and 27 seconds.

Curt Hennig (Champion) Vs Ric Flair (Challenger) (WCW U.S. Title Match)

: Hennig comes to the ring wearing the robe he stole from Flair.
: Two minutes in, Flair takes his robe back.
: It takes three minutes for Hennig to mount an offense.
: Flair hangs Hennig in the corner upside down, wraps the United States belt around his face. He then boots him in the kisser. Flair is DQ’d for his actions.
: Konnan and Vincent drag an injured Hennig (holding his face) out of harm’s way as refs hold The Nature Boy back.

Winner: …and still U.S. Champ…Curt Hennig at 13 minutes and 30 seconds.

Scott Hall Vs Lex Luger (Larry Zbyszko: Special Guest Referee)

: Syxx is at ringside.
: At 10:26, Hall rushes Zbyszko who back drops him out of the ring.
: Zbyszko kicks Bischoff off the ring apron and onto the floor as Syxx nails Luger from behind. Zbyszko counts three, asks for a video replay and seeing Syxx’s attack demands the match continue.
: Hall jaws at The Living Legend. Zbyszko pushes Hall backwards into Luger’s awaiting Torture Rack. Before the bell can be sounded to signal a submission, Syxx punks Zbyszko.
: Syxx, Hall and Bischoff maul Zbyszko.

Winner: …via disqualifacation..Lex Luger at 12 minutes and 60 seconds.

Diamond Dallas Page Vs Randy “Macho Man” Savage (Las Vegas Death Match)

: DDP and Savage fight into the crowd and onto the Halloween Havoc graveyard set.
: Savage is hurled through and slammed on the tombstones. DDP belts Macho over the head with a metal plaque.
: Macho slaps a camera man around and yanks it out of his hands. He goes to bash DDP with it. DDP kicks it up into his face.
: Elizabeth chokes DDP with a microphone cable and scratches his eyes until Kimberly yanks her by the hair to the dressing room.
: Hollywood Hogan, dressed as Sting, nails DDP in the chest with a baseball bat.
: DDP can’t stand to beat the ten count.

Winner: Randy “Macho Man” Savage (and Hollywood Hogan) at 18 minutes and 1 second.

Roddy Piper Vs Hollywood Hogan (Steel Cage Match)

Winner: Roddy Piper by submission at 13 minutes and 38 seconds.

Total Event Time: 2 hours and 55 minutes.