Wrestling meets horror in Kids Vs Aliens

Hailing from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canadian filmmaker Jason Eisener has finally been able to form his own Rock and Sock Connection by combining two of his favorite things: pro-wrestling and horror movies. The Hobo with a Shotgun and Dark Side of the Ring creator, director unashamedly pays homage to eighties cult classic The Monster Squad and other R-rated kids’ films with his latest effort: Kids Vs Aliens. Even with a substantially lower budget and therefore a smaller scope, Eisener and his Darthmouth tag team partner (writer John Davies) recapture the fun of that unforgettable quirky film which still inspires cries of “Wolfman’s got nards!” from fans today.

Eisener’s group of foul-mouthed, ass-kicking kids are pals Gary (Dominic Mariche), Jack (Asher Grayson), and Miles (Ben Tector), an inseparable trios tag team who spend most of their time shooting their own backyard movies like Davies used to do as a kid in Nova Scotia. Their current project is a sci-fi/fantasy epic with the wrestling ring in the family garage as the backdrop. Gary is the director, Jack is the techie and Miles is…well, dependable Miles. Joining them is Gary’s teenage older sister Samantha (Phoebe Rex), who aspires to be the next Charlotte Flair, Britt Baker or Trish Stratus.

These kids are fantastic handling themselves and the subject matter with skill and maturity well beyond their years. They are a lot of fun to watch. Rex, who surprisingly only has a handful of credits on her cinematic resume, is the real standout though. She provides much of that vital dynamic energy that pull us in and pushes the film along. Perhaps this will be that breakthrough role that Rex needs to take her career to the next level.

The aliens melting hearts and other body parts in Kids Vs Aliens. Courtesy: Shudder.

The amateur Lucases, Fords and Fishers’ latest magnum opus runs into production hell in the form of the local scumbag, Billy. Billy is Rex’s new boyfriend and everyone but Rex herself can see that Billy is just using her to have a place to throw his big Halloween kegger. Billy ridicules Rex’s wrestling dreams and mocks her for hanging out with the three twerps. Billy’s played by Calem MacDonald who we last saw as Young Dave in Netflix’s The Umbrella Academy. Another Nova Scotia native, MacDonald is so slimy you wish The Monster Squad‘s Gillman would show up and slash, maul that crooked smile right off of his GQ, chiseled face and you don’t have to wait long for that to happen.

Billy eventually gets his way and his party demos the family home much to the dismay of Samantha and Gary who dread the return of their wealthy, absentee parents. The ‘aliens’ of the title soon arrive to crash the party, dragging away hordes of screaming teens so they can turn them into living breathing batteries by melting them down into puddles of florescent Nickelodeon slime with their Xenomorph-like acid. Think Herman Dietrich’s infamous face melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark and you will have some idea of the gore you are in for. The aliens themselves are your typical, grey-skinned, lanky humanoid extra-terrestrials with their oblong heads and eyes, looking like they stepped right out of Whitley Strieber’s Communion or The X-Files.

The ‘kids’ doing their best Mulder and Scully. Courtesy: Shudder.

All of the teen angst and childhood shenanigans lead to the big main event, a triple threat brawl between the kids, the aliens and Billy. The outrageous action results in some bloody good battles and gore. Kids Vs Aliens is a very low-budget love letter to R-rated kids’ horror so there are times when the alien masks don’t quite articulate as they should, when we see only lights from the alien ship but not the actual ship itself because those kinds of effects were clearly out of reach for the filmmakers which makes you really wonder what Eisener could do with a decent budget. Still, like those amusing and outrageous direct-to-video Full Moon Features such as The Puppet Master and Demonic Toys series that inspired “Kids,” all of that adds to and is part of the charm of Kids Vs Aliens. Kids Vs Aliens is legit fun if you aren’t a big time, gnarly, lame barf bag.

Kids Vs Aliens is currently streaming on Shudder.

Kids Vs Aliens (2022)