If you want to know how strange a place wrestling is in as we start April of 2020, Pharaoh is in the house tonight for Dynamite. Not familiar with him? He’s Cody’s dog. There are no fans in the building but there is a dog at ringside. But we make do with what we’ve got, so let’s get to the action, live on TNT.
Match 1 – Trent (w/ Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy) vs. Kenny Omega
Sometimes the graphics around the wrestlers’ names when they walk out are actually informative, and that’s the case tonight for Omega, as I did not realize he was on a six-match winning streak. It’s deserved since he took plenty of losses in AEW in 2019. Cody correcting Tony Schiavone on the correct names of moves is good for a chuckle, and hopefully the American Nightmare just stays on commentary when he’s finished with his in-ring career. Trent takes a few heel-style shortcuts in his offense, which might be a development worth keeping in mind, and the fight turns hardcore when it spills out to where the crowd used to be before the world turned topsy-turvy. The time limit beckons, but Omega manages to snatch a victory before it arrives with the One-Winged Angel. Great performance by Trent, one of AEW’s more underrated talents.
If you missed the confrontation last week between Chris Jericho and Matt Hardy, you owe it to yourself to look it up on YouTube. A video package takes us back through some of the high points, but it’s worth watching for sheer entertainment value.
Match 2 – Hikaru Shida vs. Anna Jayy
Why Jayy with two y’s? I can’t tell you that dear reader. Dr. Britt Baker insists on six feet of distance between herself and Shida, and Cody gives Schiavone the business for saying he knows Baker “quite well.” This is not a squash, which is a little bit of a surprise, but Shida does pick up the victory.
Jon Moxley’s beef with the Inner Circle is far from finished. The current focus of his wrath is Jake Hager, who we hear from for one of the first times since he joined AEW. Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara get their two cents in during this video package too, because that’s just what they do.
Colt Cabana joins Schiavone on commentary, and his “I’m also a wrestler” thing looks like it’s here to stay. That’s not a bad thing. Jake “The Snake” Roberts also blesses us with another promo before Lance Archer makes his AEW debut.
Match 3 – Marko Stunt vs. Lance Archer
Well, this is just rude to Marko. Archer enjoys every minute of this before finishing Marko with a move he calls the Blackout. Cabana somehow remains undaunted by the prospect of facing Archer in the first round of the TNT Championship tournament. Just for good measure, Archer chucks Stunt from the apron into the unsuspecting arms of Cassidy and Billy Gunn. Yikes.
Do we need to check in on Brodie Lee and see how his Exalted One gig is going? Well, we’re going to. Ah, still berating the new recruits of the Dark Order, I see. If Lee is doing a parody of Vince McMahon with this gimmick, which many people have suggested, it’s a pointed one.
Match 4 – 8 & 9 vs. The Natural Nightmares
The Dark Order creepers apparently have to earn names or something, and Cabana has a lot of fun with the fact that he can’t tell them apart and it doesn’t really matter. But hey, let’s discuss what really matters here, and that is QT Marshall getting to be something other than a jobber. Feels good to get a win, doesn’t it QT? Brandi Rhodes keeps the Natural Nightmares from getting in the way of the Exalted One, who expresses his displeasure with his minions by powerbombing one of them.
Jericho appears to be pretty chill, relaxing in a hot tub with a little bit of the bubbly as he insults the members of the Elite. His rant is interrupted by Vanguard 1, and we soon see that for some reason, Jericho was wearing his pants in the hot tub. That raises some questions, as does Jericho offering the drone a tiny shirt to get him to join the Inner Circle. “Release the hounds!” yells Jericho as his dogs bark and chase Vanguard 1, but to no avail as the drone leaves with the shirt.
Lots of checking in today, so let’s get an update on the physical condition of Nick Jackson. He’s training for his return in a ring the Young Bucks have set up on a tennis court, but he’s not willing to commit to a return date yet.
Main Event – Sammy Guevara and Shawn Spears vs. Darby Allin and Cody
Spears hasn’t wrestled on Dynamite for a while as he’s been out looking for a tag team partner, meaning he’s by far the least over person in this match. You also don’t often see gambling on matches by people involved in them, but these are unprecedented times. The action is tailor made for Allin to get the hot tag and do something crazy, which he does by climbing a pole outside the ring and launching himself into a Coffin Drop on the floor. Alas, he also takes the loss after choosing to help Cody avoid a chair shot, allowing Spears to roll him up. Allin is inconsolable after the bell, laying out his partner when he offers a hand. That should make things really interesting if they end up facing off in the tournament, but that’s a story for another day as we’re out of time. See you in seven!
Nick Tylwalk has been with SLAM! Wrestling since the dawn of time, or at least since before the turn of the century. He spends his days doing PR things, but he’ll always make time to sneak away for some wrestling.