The show starts off with a sequence of quick cuts, showing Nikki competing at WrestleMania in her tag match with her now-fiancee John Cena, and Brie in labour with her and Daniel Bryan’s kid. Then the show flashes back to ten weeks earlier, and a brief interview introduces the two sisters for any new viewers – Nikki, for the record, is the more filthy-minded one (and the stupider one, but it’s not like Brie sets a high bar in that regard).
Cena and Nikki are out for dinner. Nikki suggests that she and Cena spend some time in Phoenix with Brie and Bryan. This is payback for Brie and Bryan staying with them when Nikki was injured. And also so Nikki and Brie can work closely together on their fashion line. But mostly it’s plot device to show how uncomfortable Nikki and Cena will be in Brie and Bryan’s rustic home and bohemian lifestyle.
Brie is at home getting a body cast of her pregnancy belly, and is that even a thing? Nikki decides to strip down and get her body casted as well. Thankfully, Kathy (the Bellas’ mom) keeps her clothes on. Sadly, Lauren, their sister-in-law, does too. Bryan walks in on this, and they start suggesting he and Brie do a nude photo shoot together to celebrate the pregnancy, but he doesn’t seem too wild about it, saying that certain things should be private, and certainly not done for the cameras.
They’re doing TV in Phoenix, so Brie comes backstage to visit with everyone. Of course Renee Young, the pot-stirrer, feels like she needs to chime in on the naked photo shoot idea, and is unsurprisingly all for it, and basically tells Brie not to care about Bryan’s wishes. Meanwhile, Kathy and JJ (the twins’ brother) shows up. Lauren and their new baby aren’t with him, which they question, but he says it’s because Lauren was too tired after the flight into town.
Cena and Nikki visit an opulent villa in Phoenix that Nikki is thinking of renting while they’re in town. JJ comes in – again, sans Lauren – and gets the grand tour. Nikki’s excited about the place, but Cena is kind of cold.
At JJ and Lauren’s, Brie wants to take a look at Lauren’s nude pregnancy photo shoot. JJ is there and starts getting really angry. He tells them that he hates the fact that Lauren posted her boobie shots on public social media sites, as he thought the photos were going to be private for them alone.
At the gym with a buddy, Cena confides in a buddy that he isn’t wild about moving to Phoenix, and he’s afraid that by not telling Nikki that, it may have given her the impression that he is. He says that all of his upcoming Hollywood projects will make it really difficult to spend time between his place in Miami and Phoenix. His buddy gives him a reality check and advices Cena to talk to Nikki about it. Better advice would have been to dump her and stay in Miami and let her move wherever she wants, but nobody ever does the smart thing on this show.
The Bellas and Kathy head to the photo shoot. After seeing JJ and Lauren’s argument, Brie thought it was a good idea to invite Bryan, I guess so he can kybosh anything he thinks is too offensive for public consumption, but really because there’s still 40 minutes left in this episode and they can’t end the show with a happy resolution scene if they don’t have a scene where he sees what’s going on, gets upset, and they fight about it.
During the shoot, Brie asks Kathy and Nikki if they’ve noticed any tension between JJ and Lauren, but they say they haven’t seen anything out of the norm. She tells them about the fight she witnessed. Before they go too far into that, Bryan arrives. He’s very uncomfortable about the photo shoot, and questions Brie’s need to be naked in front of the world. To which I say shut up, Bryan, the world enjoys seeing your wife naked, pregnant or not.
At lunch, JJ tells Nikki that he and Lauren have been going through a rough patch since the baby was born, and they’ve actually separated. He asks her not to tell anyone else about it, but had to confide in her because he was hoping to live in the spacious villa she’ll be renting when she moves to Phoenix.
Brie brings home the pictures and loves how they look. Bryan surprises her by saying he’d be fine if she posts them on social media. Apparently, he’s grown as a person, and recognizes and appreciates that Instagram is her jam.
Cena and Nikki are back at his house in Miami. He asks to speak with her, and he tells her that he messed up, and led her on about his willingness to move to Phoenix. He explains to her that he’s too busy to move, and though she’s disappointed, she understands. Though, how he can not want to move to anyplace where she’s taking the cleavage she was rocking in this scene, completely boggles the mind.
The next day at brunch, Cena declares his hatred for kids. He then asks Nikki if she’s told everyone that he won’t be moving to Phoenix, and she tells them that she hadn’t. She wants to hold off telling them, but he says he’ll let them know when he sees them next.
Brie, Kathy, Johnny Ace (Kathy’s husband), and JJ, Lauren, and their kid are all at the airport, where they’re going to catch a flight to San Diego, where Cena has invited them to stay at his beach house. JJ starts really sniping angrily at Lauren for no reason, making everyone uncomfortable.
In San Diego, Nikki’s excited to have her family coming over, including Vivian, JJ and Lauren’s kid, who John will get to meet for the first time. But when everyone shows up, he’s as reluctant to touch the kid as Miz is to catch someone on a dive.
Despite their situation, JJ thanks Lauren for coming and pretending to still be together for his family’s sake, as Nikki is the only one to know about their situation. Given the cleavage she’s rocking throughout this episode – in some shots, even giving Nikki a run for the money – this idiot should be doing whatever he can to hang onto her, as opposed to acting like an angry douche like he has been.
The family head to a restaurant to celebrate their togetherness. That is, until Cena lets them know that he won’t be able to move to Phoenix. Brie’s ticked, because she assumes this mean Nikki won’t go either. She takes Nikki aside, and complains about Cena treating family as the second priority. Nikki denies this, completely overlooking the fact that he just told them all that he’s not going to be with them because of work priorities. The two get into a typically-stupid argument, with Brie threatening to not let her baby refer to John as her uncle, and Nikki storming off to find some wine to drink.
They rejoin the table and the argument continues. Cena plays either a douche card or a logic card, depending on your point of view, reminding Brie that Bryan isn’t there that night because he has work commitments. He then lists all of the things that he has going on, and notes he has only three free nights over the next few months, and just doesn’t have the time to go to Phoenix. She gets it, but says that doesn’t mean she has to be happy about it. And the night comes to a frosty end.
A week later, Nikki has joined Brie and Bryan in Phoenix. Brie’s still not happy that Cena’s not there, but is happy her sister is there. They spend the afternoon eating baby food and talking about Bryan’s sperm, which apparently will be part of the baby shower, and that sounds incredibly gross.
The next night, the family is out for dinner, and guess who shows up? Cue the meme… it’s John Cena! He surprises them all by flying into Phoenix for the night. Apparently, feeling bad after his and Brie’s fight, he’s agreed that anytime he has 12 hours free, he will go to Phoenix to be with everyone.
Dinner conversation is pretty much geared around Brie and Bryan’s plans to be good parents. JJ compliments Lauren, and it’s clear that they still care deeply for one another, despite their current tension, and he says hopefully a bit of time apart will bring them back together one day soon.
Brie apologizes to Cena for giving him a hard time at their last dinner, and the show ends with a toast to family.
Bob Kapur wants to wish the best to his friends, family, and everyone else in Florida and the other areas affected by Hurricane Irma. He’ll forego any funny comments this time, to encourage everyone to make a donation to the Canadian Red Cross to help with relief efforts. E-mail him at bobkapur@hotmail.com and let him know what you’ve donated, and he’ll do the same.
