This week, Naomi goes way overboard in trying to be a cool stepmom to Jimmy Uso’s children. Meanwhile, the Bellas act like children, squabbling over petty things while planning a business venture for sometime in the future. Speaking of futures, career-wise, Eva Marie’s looks good now that she’s got a new finishing move… though the WWE Universe would rather her career simply be finished. Check out the full recap for all the details!
The show starts with a pre-credit scene of the Divas visiting an army base and shooting guns. This is short, random, and has no bearing on the rest of the episode, but is being mentioned to avoid internet nitpickers.
Eva Marie’s at a training session with her personal coach, former WWE superstar (The) Brian Kendrick. She’s going back on the road to appear on NXT, so she wants to pick a good finishing move. She selects his old finisher, Sliced Bread #2, which in his honour is now called “the Kendrick”. She thinks that will set her apart from all of the other Divas because of the difficult and splashy nature of the move.
The Bellas go for lunch with Mama Bella and their brother JJ, and show off their feature spread in Muscle & Fitness. They tell their family that they are going to start their own “bar fitness” studio. Unfortunately, it’s not the Brie Mode kind of bar, where people drink all the time, because I would totally get a membership. Nikki suggests that they all invest in the business and become part-owners, but immediately regrets the idea, since she and Brie want to keep it between the sisters.
Driving around, Paige, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes make a swear dare, meaning that if one of them swears, she has to get a bar of soap in her mouth. Within 20 seconds, potty-mouthed Paige and Fox swear multiple times. Do they kiss me with those mouths? Can they, please?
Backstage, Summer Rae and Ariane are doing a swimsuit photo shoot, so that’s cool. Nattie comes in and talks about how Charlotte spilled coffee all over Nattie’s head. But that takes away from the swimsuit action, so shut up, Nattie.
Trinity is excited because she’s planning to play stepmom to her husband Jimmy Uso’s kids for the first time in their new house.
Backstage, the girls watch online videos of Eva Marie’s training sessions. Alicia gets all chirpy, saying that Kendrick is carrying her through the sessions, and because of the differences between wrestling men and women, Eva will not be able to transfer her new-found skills in a Divas match. Alicia and Rosa storm off, saying that it’s too little too late for Eva to try to earn their respect now – that she spent her first two years in the company not caring about wrestling, so why should they try to help her now.
At home, Jimmy Uso is surprised to see Trinity driving around a mini-van. Apparently she rented it to truck the kids around. That’s not all – she’s even rented a bouncy castle (no, not Nikki Bella) to impress them, which Jimmy thinks is going way overboard.
JJ comes by to visit her sisters, and to take them to meet a commercial real estate agent to take them bar studio shopping. The Bellas are upset that he’s trying to take the lead on this, since it was their idea.
At home, Eva Marie is watching old tapes, and this marks the first time (and probably last time, if he’s lucky) that Rob Van Dam appears on this show. Then they show Sid breaking his leg, which was simultaneously the greatest and worst thing that ever happened. That is enough to have her husband Jonathan saying that he doesn’t want her doing anything off the top rope. He becomes a living PSA about not trying this at home and to be careful and such.
Trinity and Jimmy bring the kids home from school and they all start playing in the bouncy castle.
JJ takes the Bellas to a commercial property, and it actually looks pretty good, even to them, but they still complain.
The kids are a holy terror with their laughing and playing and doing those annoying things that children insist on doing. Then, the doorbell rings, and Trinity’s next surprise comes true, as she’s invited a Traveling Reptile House. The kids are excited to see the alligator and look forwards to seeing the monkeys, but Jimmy is like what the hell is going on right now?
JJ takes the Bellas to another place, and it’s clear they’re not digging it. They tell the agent about their vision for their studio, and he suggests they build something up to their specifications rather than modify a place, and then he leaves. Brie starts acting all cold and distant towards JJ after this, a point that Nikki calls her out on.
Eva Marie and Ariane are out shopping and they do a supercut of them saying “cute” that really isn’t. Ariane tells Eva about all the heat she’s got backstage, especially with Alicia. Eva is confused as to why they should be mad at her for trying to get better and work with them as equals.
Trinity and Jimmy take the kids to a Fun Zone for a day full of Go-Karts and cotton candy and other fun stuff. Jimmy’s ticked, since it’s hyping up the kids, and he’s afraid they won’t sleep on time the next day to go to school. Well, if they miss enough school, they’ll just grow up to be really stupid, but it seemed to work out for the Divas, so is that all bad?
Speaking of which, the two of them go to the spa. While there, Nikki throws around some suggestions about the (still hypothetical) bar studio, including adding other features and services, but Brie shoots all of the ideas down hard. Brie gets all snippy and Nikki’s feelings get hurt, so they just argue. This stupid argument has them reconsidering if they even want to go into business together.
A few days later, Nikki goes to visit JJ and complain about Brie. She tells JJ that Brie was considering not having him as part of the business, then suggests that she and JJ take on the business and leave her out. He tries to talk some sense into her, but good luck with that.
Trinity sees Jimmy texting back and forth with his ex (the kids’ baby-mama). He tells Trinity that the ex is mad because the kids seem to be living in party mode, neglecting their schoolwork and picking up alligators and such. Trinity regrets some of her recent decisions, as she doesn’t want to cause tension between Jimmy and his ex.
JJ visits Brie. If this was the last ten minutes of the show, it would be to resolve things between her and Nikki. But because there’s still nearly a half hour to go, he just stirs things up, telling Brie that Nikki suggested that they shut her out of the gym business. Brie calls her up and tells her to come over.
Trinity and Jimmy have one more night with the kids before they have to go back on the road. Jimmy tells Trinity that she doesn’t have to spoil the kids to get them to like her. She realizes that she needs to be more parent and less party, and she agrees.
It’s NXT, and Eva Marie is excited because she’s going to give her return promo on the show. She’s introduced and comes out to a chorus of boos and “You can’t wrestle” chants. She doesn’t get fazed – in fact, she says that the doubters will only fuel her fire even more.
Nikki shows up to Brie’s place, and the three siblings fight over who should apologize to who first. Over a bottle of wine, thanks to JJ’s prodding, they reconcile, agreeing that they will be a great team because of their family bond. Let’s be clear – that’s a great team in business…. in the ring, they’ll never be a great team. Just saying.
Eva goes back to the gym to learn how to do the Kendrick. The move, that is. She does it, and the show ends with her and Kendrick celebrating how much better she’s gotten. Too bad the same couldn’t be the same about this show.
Oh, after the show ended, a new one debuted.: WAGS, which stands for Wives and Girlfriends of Stars. I thought I’d give that one a shot, too, seeing as how former WWE Diva Kelly Kelly is in it. But two minutes in, I threw in the towel. Seriously, it’s more painful to watch than Sid’s leg break.
Bob Kapur welcomes your thoughts, and marriage proposals, at [email protected].