Jon Moxley vs. Konosuke Takeshita – Eliminator Match
Why in the world has NJPW made Moxley their world champion when they have so many more valid superstars? It boggles the mind.
Moxley’s shoulder is taped up due to Takeshita’s attack. As Moxley makes his entrance Takeshita just stares at him not flinching at all. Both men take turns punching and chopping each other in a corner. Takeshita removes the tape from Moxley’s hand. He wrenches Moxley’s fingers. Takeshita hammerlock slams Moxley on his injured shoulder and slams him down on the apron on the shoulder too. Takeshita runs in with a knee. Moxley lands the Paradigm Shift. Another chop showdown in the middle of the ring. A rolling elbow knocks Moxley hard on his ass. Of course Moxley kicks out of Takeshita’s running knee strike. Takeshita removes his elbow pad. Moxley kicks out of Takeshita’s Death Rider.
Takeshita starts throwing steel chairs into the ring. The official throws all out but one. As Takeshita bends over to pick the last one up Moxley stomps him into the chair. Moxley wins with Death Rider.
Winner: Jon Moxley
Match Rating: 7 / 10
Adam Copeland (c) vs. Malakai Black – Barbed Wire Steel Cage, AEW TNT Championship Match
Adam Copeland comes with The Brood across the big screen. Copeland rises from the stage with fire going off around him. He is played to the ring by Slayer’s South of Heaven. There are chairs and tables already in the ring. Copeland and Black both pick up chairs and a duel begins. The dodge each other’s finishing moves once the chairs are dispensed with. Copeland boots Black’s head into the cage. Copeland takes some of the barbed wire off the cage. Black’s powerbomb out of a corner is halted when Copeland rakes barbed wire over his forehead. Black comes up bleeding.
Black is bleeding. Courtesy: AEW, Thriller TV.
Copeland powerbombs Black into the cage and in the middle of the ring for a two count. Copeland is catapulted into a corner but stop himself before he hits the cage. He is kicked off the ropes though and he comes up bleeding.
Black takes the bat to Copeland. Courtesy: AEW, Thriller TV.
Black rakes his taped forearm over Copeland’s forehead. Black pulls down a barbed wire baseball bat. He rakes the bat over Copeland’s forehead. Black puts Copeland’s head over a chair. Copeland rolls out of the way as Black swings down with the bat. Copeland picks up the bat hitting Black in the stomach and the head. Copeland rakes the bat over Black’s head.
Black loves the blood. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
Copeland puts Black on a table and climbs the cage. Black kicks him off the ropes. Copeland gets crotched. Both men battle on the top rope. Black powerbombs Copeland through the table. Black is speared before he can hit the spinning back kick to Copeland. Copeland piledrives Black so he can lay him on another table. Copeland wraps Black in the barbed wire.
Copeland gets Black ready for the end. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
Copeland climbs to the top of the cage. Copeland attempts a flying elbow drop but he lands on his feet. He elbow barely connects with Black. The table breaks though. Very weird that. The announcers try to cover things up by saying Black must have awoken and saw what was happening so he moved.
And, yes, Black kicks out of that flying elbow smash off the top of the cage. Ugh.
Copeland runs in for a spear. Black clobbers him with The End. Now, it is time for Copeland to kick out of what should be a finisher.
Edge goes for it all. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
Black pulls down a metal pipe with barbed wire on it. Copeland wisely rolls out of the way. Black hauls back kicking Copeland through the door of the cage. Copeland falls to the floor. Copeland spears Black on the floor. The House of Black enter the fray. They stand beside Black at first then switch sides. It is all a ruse because they attack Copeland instead. They throw him back into the ring. Copeland is wrapped in barbed wire. They place a barbed wire crown on his head.
Copeland is held for Black. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
The ring is enveloped in a red light before they can do anything. Gangrel bursts through the mat spitting blood. He gives all the heels his Impaler DDT.
Gangrel is in AEW. Courtesy: AEW, FiteTV.
Black kicks him in the chops. Copeland spears Black. Copeland puts the barbed wire crown on Black and makes him submit to the crossface.
Winner: …and still AEW TNT Champion, Adam Copeland.
Rating: 8 /10
Willow Nightingale vs. Mercedes Mone – AEW TBS Championship Match
A lot of the work in this match isn’t fluid, especially on Willow’s part. Much of it looks awkward. Willow’s greenish level shines through here. She isn’t ready for main event status yet.
Mercedes Mone gets a big intro with drummers, etc. The crowd reaction is tepid to say the least. How much did Tony pay to bring her aboard again? Mone ducks into the ropes to avoid Willow. There are dueling Willow, CEO chants. Mone bails out of the ring. That brings Willow outside. Mone catches her back inside the ring to a chorus of boos. Willow stands there allowing Mone to do all sorts of flippy stuff before she is arm dragged. Willow pounds her down to the mat with punches and chops. Willow powerbombs Mone on the apron. Willow puts on an ankle lock. Mone rolls out of it and Willow launches herself into a corner.
Mercedes is your new champion. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
Willow cannot cover Mone after a pounce. Mone powerbombs Willow off the second rope for a two count. Mone’s figure four wears down Willow’s knee. Willow counters though with a swinging knee breaker and a Death Valley Driver in a corner. Willow charges in. Mone dodges stomping on the knee, ankle. Willow kicks out double knees in the ring and floor. Kris Statlander encourages Willow on. Mone shoves Statlander. Willow hits the Doctor Bomb but Stokely Hathaway and Statlander are arguing with the official. Willow has Mone pinned. Mercedes kicks out. Mone reverse another Doctor Bomb into an STF. Willow makes it to the ropes. Mone pins Willow with Mone Maker.
Stokely is pissed off. He yells at Willow. Statlander shoves him to the mat. Willow and Statlander leave the ring. Statlander helps Willow up the rampway before slamming her down and hits her with a spinning clothesline. Stokely laughs and stands beside Statlander. Why did Statlander attack her former friend? Who knows.
Winner: …and new AEW TBS Champion, Mercedes Mone.
Rating: 7 / 10
Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Christian Cage – AEW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Christian warns the crowd to shut up or he will kick the crap out of them. Someone in the crowd has a sign which reads: Christian likes fish sticks.
Lots of jockeying around at the start of the match. Christian misses a diving head butt off the top rope. The pool is empty. Swerve kicks Christian in the mouth. He collides with the barricade. He missed a second one though. He hits the barricade not Christian. Christian whips him into the barricade.
The champ gives Christian some free chiropractic work. Courtesy: AEW, Triller TV.
Swerve counters a spear with a scoop powerslam. Swerve dives off the top rope with an elbow to the back of the head. Swerve pulls Christian’s turtleneck over his head peppering him with punches and two neckbreakers in the ring and one in the ropes.
Christian applies the Sharpshooter. Swerve rolls up Christian for a two count. Prince Nana and Mother Wayne have a tug of war over the championship belt. The official sees Nana with the belt and bars him from ringside. Mother Wayne and Nick laugh, laugh.
Christian throws Swerve to the floor. As the official reprimands Christian, Kill Switch and Nick Wayne batter Swerve. Mother Wayne is next to distract the official. Kill Switch head butts Christian instead of Swerve. Swerve stops Kill Switch and backdrops Nick Wayne on the floor. Christian rolls out of the way of Swerve Stomp. Christian spears Swerve for a two count. Nick Wayne distracts the official. Kill Switch is caught trying to interfere. The official bars Mother Wayne, Nick Wayne and Kill Switch from ringside. Christian tries to powerbomb Swerve off the apron. Swerve double stomps him.
Christian clears off the announce table. Christians slams Swerve’s head on the table over and over again. Swerve avoids the Kill Switch to stomp Christian on the desk. The desk doesn’t break. House Call in midair. Stomp from the top rope. House Call to the back of the head. Swerve pins Christian.
Winner: ..and still AEW World Heavyweight Champion, Swerve Strickland.
Rating: 8 / 10
The Elite (Young Bucks, Kazuchika Okada and Jack Perry) vs. FTR, Bryan Danielson and Darby Allin – Anarchy In The Arena Match
Just a moronic mess. Poor Okada, one of the very best wrestlers in the world has to work this nonsense.
As Jack Perry is announced Danielson and FTR attack The Bucks and Okada from behind. Darby Allin joins the fray wearing some kind of protective mask with thumb tacks on it. Lots of brawling on the floor. The Bucks stops the proceedings to have their theme music played the entire match. Danielson demands production turn off the music. Why does production listen to Danielson over their bosses The Bucks doesn’t make sense.
The Final Countdown plays. Fighting in the crowd. Fighting at ringside. The Bucks demand an end to the music. It is costing them too much money.
Perry and Allin end up in the parking lot. Perry chokes out Allin with a 2/4. The Young Bucks score a Shatter Machine on Dax but he kicks out.
The Bucks drag Allin to the stage elevator Copeland used earlier. They dump Allin on it asking production to bring the elevator down. Danielson is rammed into the massive poker chips. The Bucks try a TK Driver with one leaping off the stage and the other holding Danielson on the chips. The timing is off like always and they miss. Danielson sells it anyways.
Mindless and clueless humanoids chant: “This is awesome!”
FTR are put through tables by Okada and The Bucks who leap off the entrance way.
Jack Perry smiles as he grabs Tony Khan who is in the gorilla position with no security or anything since what happened to him last time.
Tony Schiavone shouts: This is bulls–t!
Perry comes out with Tony Khan. Darby Allin lights Perry on fire with a flame thrower, although we can see Perry’s clothes are soaking wet.
The Young Bucks just happen to have fire extinguishers. They put Perry out. Medical officials attend to Perry.
The Bucks drag Allin to the ring. Arm bands with thumb tacks. Running shoes with thumb tacks.
Allin is hoisted up by his injured ankle. As he hangs over the ring they super kick him in the face with thumb tack running shoes. Danielson dodges so one Buck kicks another.
The fans chant: Please, help Darby. Ugh.
Danielson is hit with everyone’s finishes and pinned.
Winners: The Elite (Young Bucks, Kazuchika Okada and Jack Perry)
Rating: 3 / 10
Summary
This definitely ranks as one of the worst, blundering, amateurish shows AEW has ever put on when one reviews the entire card top to bottom. It used to be that even if their television shows were crud AEW still banged out fantastic pay-per-views. With the quality sliding and no one course correcting the direction of the company AEW will align neatly with WCW in its dying days when the lunatics ran the asylum right into the ground.
