The show starts off with Brie and Daniel Bryan barking like dogs to create a makeshift burglar alarm. Even their dog is embarrassed to watch this stupidity.
Nattie invites TJ to go for dinner as a way of thanking him for helping out with her parents. She breaks down talking about her bad month and how great he’s been helping her through it, and they fall in love all over again.
Backstage at RAW, Paige tells WWE suit Mark Carrano that she’s interested in getting a full-length arm sleeve tattoo. Carrano tells her that he’ll run it by “creative”, but he’s doubtful they’ll agree to it.
In the ring, TJ is distracted by chants of “Nattie’s husband” and loses to The Bunny as a result.
Backstage, Ariane is fretting about the fact that her parents will be meeting her doofus boyfriend Vinnie’s parents. She’s worried because her dad, a former crack addict, is missing his teeth, and she doesn’t know how Vinnie’s parents will react. If they’re as dumb as their son, they may not even notice. Am I the only one hoping for an Isaac Yankem DDS reference here?
TJ and Nattie are at home and they start arguing again because he says he resents being overshadowed by her, as evidenced by the fans’ chants. In order for him to feel better, and because we have 50 minutes to fill so need some sort of contrived plot for the rest of the show, she suggests he do some modelling.
Ariane, with Eva Marie in tow, is off to visit her dad. She’s worried that Vinnie’s parents won’t accept him because of how he looks. Her dad’ place is an isolated compound in the middle of a desert – frankly, it’s the type of place that you’d expect in a slasher movie where you run out of gas, and this friendly toothless guy takes you in, and then you wake up in a basement pit. In any event, she invites him and her stepmother to meet Vinnie’s parents. He says he’s also embarrassed because of his teeth, so she agrees to pay to get them fixed. It would be so much cheaper, and probably better for all concerned, if she just saved her money and dumped that loser Vinnie.
Nattie’s set up a meeting with an agent to help him kick off his modeling career. The agent takes a few pictures of him and says he’ll send out some feelers.
Backstage, Carrano tells Paige that her request for a tattoo has been denied. No way will they allow her to change her brand this drastically, and especially not when they’ve already got her new figure already done. She’s none too pleased by the news. She also gets mad at Alicia, who – after being thrown under the bus by Carrano – admits she and Carrano talked about it behind Paige’s back, and both of them agreed on an anti-tattoo position. In a talking head segment, Paige rails on the decision, saying that she should be able to dictate what happens to her own body, and be able to get a tattoo or change her hair colour if she wants, and boy, wouldn’t this be great evidence in the “employee / contractor” lawsuit that Raven and Kanyon tried to bring up so many years ago.
At the photo shoot, Nattie is a bit flustered watching TJ pose half-naked with two sexy female models. Because they are getting along now, Nattie says she won’t say anything about it.
Ariane and her father are at the dentist’s office to show off how much work her dad’s teeth need – hint: it’s a lot. The dentist can fix the problems, but this will take much longer than the week between now and the day Vinnie’s parents will be coming over.
Alicia, Rosa, and Paige are talking about their pies (to steal a Rock-ism) when Paige’s dad calls. He’s livid that Paige would want to get a tattoo and risk her career to do it. She’s all fired up about the issue, and decides to get one even if WWE doesn’t want her to.
TJ and Nattie go back the agent, and he says that TJ should do modeling for gigs related to sports, rather than high fashion. Looking at the photos, Nattie is still uncomfortable by the thought of TJ posing with skimpily-clad women.
That night, Vinnie and Ariane go the dinner where Ariane’s mom is waiting. Then comes in Ariane’s dad, dressed up like the Godfather (the wrestler, not Don Corleone). Ariane pulls him aside and asks him to put in his false teeth, so that he’ll look presentable for when Vinnie’s folks arrive. Then, Vinnie asks Ariane’s dad for a few minutes alone. He nervously stumbles over his words when asking her dad for his blessing, because he wants to propose to her, but he gets it nonetheless.
After leaving the modelling agency, Nattie tells TJ about her jealous feelings about the models who were hanging off of him in the photos. TJ says he wasn’t fully comfortable with it either, and the two lovebirds make out.
At the restaurant, Vinnie’s family finally arrives. Shortly thereafter, Ariane’s dad announces to the entire group that Vinnie has asked for Ariane’s hand in marriage – even though no such thing actually ever happened. Awkward. Even moreso when Vinnie’s dad makes the next speech, toasting the newly-engaged… who aren’t. Durng a quiet moment, Ariane asks Vinnie what the heck is going on, and he tells her what happened. Despite the misunderstanding, everyone seems to get along.
After the dinner, Ariane apologizes to her dad for feeling embarrassed for feeling ashamed about his teeth without his knowledge. She says that this week, spending so much time with him, has been great and that she loves and appreciates him.
Rosa and Alicia get called by Paige who’s at a tattoo parlour prepping to get a big ink blot on her chesticle area. They try to talk her out of it but she won’t listen. So they bring in the big guns in Nattie, who is the surrogate den mother for all of the Divas. Nattie poses the question to Paige as to what’s more important to her, the tattoo or being in WWE. And then leaves Paige alone to make her own decision. In the end, she decided it wasn’t worth giving up on her dream just to get the tattoo – though she did get a couple of small ones on her hands, which both satisfied her rebellious nature, but didn’t affect her brand in any way.
Bob Kapur has no tattoos. E-mail him pictures of yours at bobkapur@hotmail.com.
