It comes as no surprise to anyone when I ask the following question: Why did we have to open the evening with A-Town Down Under? Are you trying to give an early eye-sore? Oops… that’s two questions. Well, an extra for my misery. Anyway, they invite, in their own way, the Undisputed Champion the American Nightmare Cody Rhodes to the stage.

And of course, the actions of a crying baby, Waller interrupts Rhodes’ intro sequence by ordering the sound crew to cut the music and stop the cringe from continuing. Ha! You mean yourself? I love how Theory is simply standing there behind Grayson like some punk clown bodyguard while Waller has a chair to sit on.

By the way, am I the only one who caught Theory randomly posing in the background? Who cares if he’s on Waller’s livestream on Instagram, that wasn’t necessary. Dear God… Aside from that, Waller tries to make Rhodes feel guilty for dragging Orton and Owens into his fight versus the Bloodline, and they got seriously hurt because of Cody’s apparent “selfishness”.

In return, Rhodes claps back some accurate facts that Owens was already getting beaten up by the Bloodline and coming back to keep fighting. Something Rhodes knows Waller doesn’t possess. Friendship, Grayson doesn’t know the meaning of it. We’re all waiting for Theory to beat Waller the way Otis took down Chad Gable.

However, Waller had something prepared to remind who Cody’s challenger really is since we’re on the topic of betrayal. Exhibit A: Sami Zayn (Dec 11, 2014), exhibit B: John Cena (May 18, 2015), exhibit C: Chris Jericho (Feb 13, 2017), exhibit D: Kofi Kingston (Apr 23, 2019), exhibit E: Sami Zayn… again (Mar 26, 2021). This just prompts Kevin Owens to show up to contradict the accusations. Except, he admits that Kingston didn’t deserve that. I was surprised that Zayn did.

Kevin gladly skips the theatrics by asking Nick Aldis to make this a Tag Team match as a main event later tonight. Given the fact that we have to wrap this segment up, Aldis tells Owens to make the beatings quick. There were a few… miscommunications between Owens and Rhodes that Waller wasn’t shying away from reaping it for all its worth.

LA Knight (c) vs. Santos Escobar – US Championship match

Just as we were about to be introduced to our Superstars, LA Knight is dragged out of the ring from behind by Humberto and Angel as they attempt to jump him on the main floor. The opening bell hasn’t even rang as they soften up the Champion prior to the match, so the referee sends them backstage along with Elektra Lopez. Ha!

Despite the pain, LA Knight decides to fight. He was close to ending this match very early with that sudden roll up. That would have been some great karma. Escobar retaliates with a knee to the jaw of the Champion. Knight manages to turn things around by continuously drilling Santos’ head against the commentary desk.

Santos was about to move things in his favor as he delivers a Meteora to LA Knight’s chest right on the announcement table. He actually thought he pinned Knight with that frog splash. Escobar was doing great until the Megastar was able to deliver a clothesline. That Side Effect move nearly ended Escobar.

Knight was looking for the BFT, yet Santos manages to counter with a back elbow plus an attempt at the Phantom Driver, that the Champion intercepts. However, Escobar makes him pay with a Super Kick.

Regardless of the lack of luck, LA Knight surprises Santos with a flying elbow from the top of the ring, followed by a successful BFT.

Winner: LA Knight

The Unholy Union & Blair Davenport vs. Naomi, Jade Cargill & Bianca Belair – 6-women Tag Team match

So, we have Belair and Dawn starting this match off after a spectacular entrance from the Big Three from WrestleMania. What a night that was. The fight barely began as Isla gets a shocking lead on Bianca. Then she chooses to mock the EST, so Bianca returns fire with a spine buster and a Moonsault.

I’m so happy that Belair and Cargill were given their chance to earn those Women’s Tag Team titles back at Bash in Berlin versus the current champs, the Unholy Union. Yay! We’re tuning in for that. Belair continues her onslaught by taking it to the sky and squashing Isla on the main floor.

Once Davenport came on the scene, she took Belair over, managing to keep her away from her teammates. Isla, Alba and Blair play a triple team on Bianca as they cut the ring in half. Davenport stomped the EST on the spine coming off the top rope. They were doing marvelously to prevent any help from the opposition.

Unfortunately, Alba didn’t count on Bianca getting out of her submission hold, even with Dawn’s assistance. Belair’s abrupt German suplex to Isla is what gave her more freedom of movement to reach Jade, who bulldozes through all of them girls. That Super Kick from Davenport stunned her as she tags Naomi.

She nearly got the win with the Double Up, but Fyre swiftly destroyed that by diving into the cover. Because of that, Cargill delivers a push kick to Alba’s chest. Annoyingly so, Dawn tosses her on the floor, where she and Alba persist to attack her, until Bianca body splashes them.

Back inside the ring, Naomi concludes this fight with a beautiful split-legged Moonsault over Blair. It must hurt, doesn’t it? Ha!

Winners: Naomi, Jade Cargill & Bianca Belair

Next up, we have the Bloodline here as Solo Sikoa wants to address the soul-stripping beating of the Tribal Chief and the future for this monstrous group. Sikoa reckons that Roman Reigns is done, but the fans beg to differ as they foolishly chant: “OTC! OTC! OTC!” Ha! I still think of this acronym as a mysterious and unknown infection that has yet to be discussed. Also, no matter who wins the Undisputed Championship at Bash in Berlin, Solo will annihilate whoever they are to get the title back into the Anoa’i family.

I was a bit confused when Sikoa told Jacob to give Tonga Loa the other half of the Tag Team Championships, despite Loa having it first, in order for Fatu to concentrate on being Solo’s personal Enforcer. Here I thought he was going to say that Fatu needs to focus on getting the US title instead because that’s the only other singles belt on SmackDown aside from the Undisputed Championship, But no… Due to the upcoming match, the Profits descend.

Something Corey Graves said stumped me. He thinks that Jacob’s faith in Solo is blind. Do you guys think so, too? I’m not sure, don’t ask me just yet.

Tama Tonga & Tonga Loa (c) vs. The Street Profits – WWE Tag Team Championship match

Tonga Loa and Angelo Dawkins face off first like I thought they would. I personally want to see more of Loa wrestling because there’s been a serious drought since his arrival. The audience kept shouting “You can’t wrestle!” and I suspect they were referring to Loa… maybe. Definitely not Fatu, or Tama. It wouldn’t make sense, really. If that sounded like a jab, it probably was.

The table soon flips over as Angelo has Loa trapped in a corner as he hammers lefts and rights into his opponent’s stomach. The Tongas play a double team on Dawkins as you hear Tama snarling again. Jesus… Another set of teamwork from the Profits against Tama.

Due to Montez allowing himself to get distracted by Loa, he didn’t see Tama coming up from behind him at rapid speed and splashes him in the corner. How unfortunate… That’s all it took for the Tongas to switch the flow of the wind in their direction.

Later on after Ford is able to tag Dawkins, they bulldoze through Loa with some ease. He may as well have tucked and fallen for our pleasure. Ha! Ha! The Profits plant Tama with a Flatliner just because he wanted the premature smoke. Tama did manage to save his brother from being fully pinned following that amazing frog splash from Montez.

Things go from bad to terrible for the Profits as Loa launches Ford towards the outside of the ring just so he could bump his face against the steel stairs. Tama is tagged in as he unleashes his weapon upon Montez. Oof. Miraculously, Tez shocks us with a DDT to Loa out of nowhere.

Dawkins continues to get the ball moving as he brawls with Tama. He wouldn’t give up, so Angelo thought of performing the Silencer. When the Profits initiated the Revelation, they thought that was it… until Loa played spoiler. Luckily, Dawkins shoves both Tongas like nothing garbage. Ha! Ha!

I guess that little insult didn’t sit well with them, so while Solo had the referee distracted, Jacob Super Kicks the Profits, then forces Dawkins back inside the ring, so Tama could deliver the final blow to retain their titles. Even with the retention in place, it didn’t stop Solo from ordering more blood. DIY show up to help, yet they’re swiftly overwhelmed like it didn’t even matter.

Winners: The Tongas

Kevin Owens & Cody Rhodes vs. A-Town Down Under – Tag Team match

Rhodes takes control of Waller in the early moments of this match, practically making it look very easy to dismantle the little idiot. Owens gets tagged in, and he doesn’t waste any time as he hammers away at Grayson’s head. There were a few failed attempts to cover Waller since he always managed to get out of it.

Owens’ ruthless clotheslines leave Waller majorly slumped like he has no power in his strides. As Kevin reaches for Cody, Theory ventures to grab hold of the champ. Fortunately, he saw that and quickly disposed of him.

Somehow, A-Town Down Under have taking the reigns as Theory drop kicks Owens right on the nose when he came in. Then he blindsides Rhodes on the apron. How irritating. After warding off so many assaults, Owens was finally able to tag Cody in again to take on Grayson. Theory has been a small facture in this match.

Just as Cody was about to take it high risk, Theory grabs his ankles. So, Rhodes follows him to the outside, and sends Austin flying onto the commentary desk. Because of that, Grayson successfully nailed Cody with a Flatliner.

Theory shoves Rhodes into the turnbuckles as he continues to manhandle the champ with a choke hold. Despite the grogginess, Cody fights through with a Cutter to create some separation. While that’s happening, seeing that Rhodes has a chance to tag Owens in, Waller tries to trip Kevin up and fails. Miserably. However, Cody is intercepted by Theory.

The tied has turned as the Prize Fighter flattens his opponents on the main floor. It was beautiful to witness with a Cannonball to Waller. Owens was so close to winning this fight, yet Theory had to interrupt, didn’t he? Rhodes comes in and delivers a Crossroads.

Owens plays around with Grayson first before performing a victorious Pop Up Powerbomb. Weirdly so, Kevin gave us quite the scare when he stomped over to Cody holding his title as if he was going to hit him with it, but he didn’t.

Winners: Kevin Owens & Cody Rhodes 

 

TOP PHOTO: Owens & Rhodes. Courtesy of WWE