During what is being called one of the biggest week ever in professional wrestling, there has to be a low point. And so kicks off another season of “Total Divas”. The premiere welcomed Ronda Rousey and Sonya Deville to the cast, but most of the episode focused on the brewing backstage feud between Nia Jax and Carmella. Check out the full recap for all the details.
The episode started off with a mini-profile feature on Ronda Rousey, giving some history about the World’s Most Dangerous Woman. When not in the ring, Ronda likes to spend time on her farm with a donkey and her husband Travis Browne, who she loves almost as much as she loves hanging out with goats.
Sonya Deville gets a much shorter introduction, and the focus is on her being the first openly-gay female wrestler in WWE. She recently broke up with her girlfriend Arianna who wasn’t able to cope with Sonya being on the road for most of the year.
We also learn that Carmella is getting over her break-up with Big Cass who was wished the best in his future endeavours.
It’s Royal Rumble time, and the girls are stoked about the event. Except for Nia Jax, that is, who isn’t at all excited about being in a match with Carmella. In fact, Nia dislikes her so much that she starts dissing Carmella to all the other girls, openly questioning her work ethic and personal character. Apparently, her beef is that Carmella doesn’t like to get hit in the face — you know, like Becky Lynch did, right, Nia, you menace?
Carmella knows what Nia’s been saying, and starts badmouthing Nia in return. They finally confront one another, and Nia tells Carmella that she’s a fake person for whom she has no respect, and this understandably upsets Carmella.
Sonya and Natalya try to act as peacemakers, but the war of words is on.
The women’s Rumble match is well-received, with Nattie setting a longevity record, and Trinity using some amazing Kofi-style skills to avoid elimination.
During the match, Carmella shows Nia that she can be real, legitimately kicking Nia in the face and busting her open. The two don’t talk about it after the match, because Carmella leaves, while Nia still has to compete in the men’s Rumble match. The rest of the girls are impressed by Nia’s strong performance.
Meanwhile, back on the ranch, Ronda and some friends make fun of Travis who eats like a slob. Travis’ sons are there too, and in a talking head segment, Ronda cries about her love for her stepsons. Who she loves almost as much as her goats.
In the morning, Charly Caruso is in the car with Sonya and Carmella, and apparently she’s a big prude. Talk turns to dating, and Carmella says she isn’t interested after being in such a negative relationship with Cass. Sonya says she’ll teach Carmella how to date, and gives her some tips about how to find a good man. Charly thinks that this is a ploy to turn Carmella lesbian. Now that would be ratings. #HLA
Ronda is torn because she wants to have a baby, but is also enjoying her WWE career so much. She’s also tired of the pregnancy rumours, and says that her uterus is her business.
The next day, Sonya, Carmella, and Trinity go for brunch, and share dating stories. Sonya wants to call Arianna, but the girls talk her out of it, suggesting that she should move forward.
Nia reveals that her feelings towards Carmella stem from their days together in NXT, where Carmella only wanted to hang out with the main-eventers. Nia says that wrestlers shouldn’t be afraid to get hit, but Nattie correctly points out that Nia is a lot sturdier than Carmella, so taking hits for real isn’t the same thing between the two of them. She drags Nia into brunch where she’s going have to sit with Carmella.
The brunch gets awkward when Nia cattily notes that Carmella didn’t stick around at the PPV long enough to watch Nia in the men’s Rumble match. Then she talks about Carmella not wanting to get hit. Carmella fires back, saying she’d rather be considered to be a safe competitor than a clumsy oaf who breaks peoples’ noses.
Carmella points out the time that Nikki Bella hit her for real and she got a black eye and was covered in welts as a result, proving that she doesn’t shy away from getting hit.
Later that week, it’s the premiere of Paige’s movie, and Nia is attending with the Bellas. The twins say that they’re done wrestling, and the world celebrates. Nia is the ultimate stooge, basically twisting Carmella’s words and suggesting to Nikki that Carmella called her out for being a bad wrestler. Which is true, of course, but the Bellas are still stunned by this, and their dumbfounded stares (normal for them) end the show.
Bob Kapur once got attacked by a goat. E-mail him your animal horror stories at email@example.com