This WWE Money in the Bank PLE has ‘Cero Miedo’

This PLE didn't withdraw much overall, but the main event yielded much for WWE Money in the Bank

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

This WWE Money in the Bank PLE has ‘Cero Miedo’

World Wrestling Entertainment brings us its latest premium live event, and L.A. Knight vies for a shot at Roman Reigns for the World Heavyweight Championship.  Plus, the men and women of WWE want to hold the briefcase for a future shot at a major title at WWE Money in the Bank.

Who will come out on top in the Big Easy?

We’ll find out as we come to you from the Smoothie King Center in N’awlins, LA. Michael Cole and Corey Graves have the call as we kick off with Your First Match of the Night with the…

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. L.A. Knight

Huh. Initial reports listed this as the night’s final match.

Either way, this proves not everything in the IWC hive mind is valid.

Byron Saxton gives the boxing-style intros (not as well as Alicia Taylor, but you get the idea).

The bell rings, and both men soak up the crowd’s adulation.  Reigns starts with some one-upmanship, but the MegaStar lets the champ know what the crowd is chanting (YeAHHH!).

Both men go tit for tat until the Tribal Chief takes over and the fans acknowledge the champ’s beatdown.  Knight fires back, and they battle outside the ring where Reigns’ head bounces off the post, and Knight clears space on the commentary desk until the Tribal Chief regains control.  Knight comes back with a clothesline and shifts into another gear, landing an elbow for a two-count.  Reigns nails a Superman Punch but can’t put him away.  The Spear is signaled, and Knight jumps out of the way and then follows up with a Superplex.

Knight lands with a Burning Hammer and gets a two count.  Now Reigns is in the driver’s seat and goes for a Spear until he runs to a BFT for a near fall.

Knight attempts his own superpunch, but The Champ cuts him off and gets another two count.  Reigns punches him in the name of each Bloodline member he wronged, yet he still cannot put Knight away, and the challenger drives him to the commentary desk.  After a couple of Superman punches and a spear, the title stays where it is, and thus…

Your Winner and Still WWE World Heavyweight Champion:  Roman Reigns

After the match, Royce Keys and The 946 talk smack to Reigns from the crowd until The Bloodline appear, and it is a Pier Six from the arena to the concession stands.

Again, this coulda been an email…or an episode of Raw on Netflix.  Either way, color me bored (since I’m getting WWE Main Event vibes from this).

Now for the…

WWE Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Sol Ruca vs. Lola Vice vs. Jacy Jayne vs. Roxanne Perez vs. Lash Legend vs. Tiffany Stratton

This is for a shot at a WWE women’s championship, and because there is a lot to cover, here is my patented Tommy Milagro TL; DR™  part of the show where I recap the high points, and they are:

  • Lola welcomes everyone to Vice City
  • Perez shows off her athleticism with a moonsault from a ladder
  • Stratton launches from a ladder into the five women and lands awkwardly on her neck and head
  • The hardware gets used, and Perez gets Ruca and Legend on a ladder for a double moonsault
  • Ruca had the case before someone knocked the ladder out from under her, and she falls on the women below
  • Legend gives Ruca and Perez a double choke slam on a ladder
  • Perez is alone and tries to climb, but Stratton stops her ascent. Then Ruca interferes until Legend powerbombs her into a table
  • Legend climbs but gets shoved off by Stratton and now…

Your Winner of the WWE Women’s Money in the Bank Match:  Tiffany Stratton

Double huh.  I thought for sure Perez would get the case.  So maybe the WWE Booker AI™ is not in control.

That means some WWE Booker Monkeys™ are back in control.

Not sure how I feel about that.

Until then, here is a match *someone* wanted; it’s…

Oba Femi vs. Bronson Reed

You excited by this?

Yeah, me either.  Again, this coulda been an email…or an episode of WWE Main Event.

Yet, this has to be covered, so enjoy this patented Squared Circle Clerihew™:

*ahem*

Femi and Reed have so much meat

They give all the stops to bring the heat.

But things take a turn with the Vision getting in his face

But the Ruler overcomes and delivers Reed a Fall From Grace

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Oba Femi

Yawn.

(Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t jazzed up for this match.  Forgive me if I want something worth my time.)

I hope things get better, with the next match being for the…

WWE Women’s World Championship: Stephanie Vaquer (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Liv Morgan

This is a triple threat match because Vaquer wanted it, and I’m here wondering why this had to happen.

With that, allow me an…

(Author’s note: I know I shouldn’t overthink this match, but it felt a bit haphazard to get to this point, so I don’t get the appeal.  I hope there is a payoff, but I can’t see where this is going.)

Saxton gives the boxing-style intros, and because time is a factor, I wish to give you a recap of this match as a Lucid Luchador Limerick in Review™:

*ahem*

All three women are in their prime,

And they take to battle against each opponent, meantime.

This match was rough on Vaquero and Lynch,

Yet Morgan manages the win with ObLivion in a cinch

To prove she is the Greatest of ALLLLLLLLLLLLL…Time!

Your Winner, And New WWE Women’s World Champion:  Liv Morgan

Morgan is happy she won, and no action happened afterward.

In short, I wondered why this match even happened. Morgan won; Stratton got the briefcase.

So what is the point of all this?

Maybe I’m overthinking things, so let us turn to the main event for the…

WWE Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Bron Breakker vs. Je’Von Evans vs. Penta vs. CM Punk vs. Kevin Owens vs. Trick Williams (with Lil Yachty)

This is for a shot at a WWE men’s championship match contract, and we get big entrances for all six men, especially for Penta

As for the match, the patented Tommy Milagro TL; DR™ is this:

  • There is mayhem in and outside the ring, as Breakker manhandles anyone who dares come in the squared circle
  • There is a ladder in the corner, and Breakker tells Punk to remember him
  • Owens gives Punk a slam on the ladder, followed by a cannonball
  • Breakker gives Punk and Penta a double exploder suplex
  • The ladder is utilized, but no one can claim the top to get the luggage
  • At one point, Breakker leaps the barricades to give a spear to Williams
  • Evans gets bouncy but is drilled by a spear from Breakker, which precipitates a stretcher job
  • Penta ties Punk up on the ladder, and then everyone goes for broke, even when Lil Yachty interferes to stop Breakker and gets a stunner from Owens for his troubles
  • Breakker tackles both Owens and Punk into the barricade
  • The Ambulance rolls out, and Evans leaps from the back and is an OG en Fuego
  • Evans climbs a big ladder, only for Breakker to topple him onto the roof of the ambulance and crash into the top
  • Breakker resets the ladder, but Penta counters with a Mexican Destroyer on another ladder
  • Penta climbs and claims the case so…

Your Winner of the WWE Men’s Money in the Bank Match:  Penta

History has been made, and there will be a lot of fallout from this PLE as the show comes to a close..

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