AEW Dynamite: Brian Cage asks “Who Bettah” than Samoa Joe?

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Dynamite: Brian Cage asks “Who Bettah” than Samoa Joe?
Courtesy of AEW

It’s Wednesday night, and you what that means? No, not to plot to unfriend democracy in America, nor to see how much Twitter has become a (bigger) dumpster fire. It’s AEW Dynamite, and we got a ton of great matches, especially with Chris Jericho facing another ROH champion, and Samoa Joe puts his ROH World Television Title on the line against The Embassy’s own Brian Cage.

We come to you from the Chesapeake Employees Insurance Arena in Baltimore, MD. Excalibur, Taz, and Tony Schiavone have the call so let’s get to the First Match of the night…

Darby Allin vs. Jay Lethal

This is a grudge rematch from a few weeks ago, and both men start out swinging before they hit the ring, and they brawl in and out and in the ring. Allin’s ribs are taped up fro when he was thrown into the garage door by Lethal and crew, but he’s still going strong. Satnam Singh and Sanjay Dutt come out to join at ringside, and the tide turns as their distraction Gives lethal the edge. Lethal picks apart Allin during Picture in Picture, and one move has Lethal do a press slam as Allin lands head-first to the mat in a scary looking (even by Allin’s standards) bump.

Allin gets a springboard coffin splash but Lethal nails a unique fisherman’s front flip facebuster, and he goes up top for a Macho Man Elbow Drop, but Allin turns it into a crucifixion pin for a two count. He attempts the Lethal injection, but Allin reverses into a sleeper. Lethal starts to fade, but he gets up and rams him in the corner turnbuckle, but Allin has it cinched in. Lethal manages to escape the submission, but Allin gets a diamond dust (flipping stunner) and as Lethal rolls out of the ring and is blocked by the Big Man Singh, Allin launches to the outside but bounces off Singh’s chest(!), and now the ref ejects him and Dutt from ringside. While that takes place a guy in a Sting costume throws Allin back in the ring, and Lethal delivers the Lethal Injection for the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jay Lethal

The masked man comes in with a hug to Lethal and company, and as he unmasks…it’s Cole Carter from The Factory. Faster than you can say, “and the crowd goes mild,” The music hits to signal It’s Stiiiing. Lethal, Dutt Singh, and Carter brace for his presence, and even Allin awaits his mentor, but in the ring, Jeff Jarrett enters for the El Kabong from his guitar. As Allin lays in a pool of his blood from the blow, Jarrett gets on the mic and tells him and the crowd he got a lesson from the Last Outlaw. He also has a message for not only the AEW Roster but also “the insane, rabid and delusional fanbase.” The Jarrett’s left an impact in every promotion they’ve ever been in, and before he gets done he promises that anyone who crosses him will be in body bags, slapnuts.

Mox speaks to fans from backstage and tells Lee Moriarty that there’s only one way out and that’s through him.

A video package shows the AEW Trios Championship win with Kenny Omega and The Young Bucks get scrubbed out to be replaced by Death Triangle. What could it all mean?

We’ll figure it out later, as we head ringside for the…

Courtesy of AEW

AEW World Championship Eliminator Match: Jon Moxley (led by William Regal) vs. Lee Moriarty (with Stokely Hathaway)

Moriarty goes nose to nose with the AEW World champion, as Ethan Page settles in at commentary. Moriarty and Mox exchange holds and strikes and Mox mounts up the top turnbuckles and does the punch count. Moriarty sidesteps a charge by Mox who runs into the ring post, and Taiga Style gets Mox in a hammerlock slam on the outside of the ring. Mox is hurt during Picture in Picture, and Moriarty exploits this by targeting his bad wing. Moriarty sets up for a suplex but Mox reverses and gets back on the attack. Moriarty regains control and gets a suplex with a bridge for a two count and goes to mount the champ with punches and then a wristlock grip to stomps on the chest of the champ, but Mox fights up and lands a King Kong Lariat. Then he shows Taiga Style how it’s done as he stomps away, Blackpool Combat Club-style. Moriarty manages to kick the bad arm of Mox again to stop his assault and he goes for another hammerlock slam, but Mox gets a flash cutter. Now both men are on the ground on the mat, and they get in submissions and counter the submission, but Mox lays in the hammer and anvil to the side of Moriarty’s head, and one armbar later ends it.

Your Winner via Submission: Jon Moxley

Page slams down the headset and makes a beeline to the ring to deliver a big boot to Moxley, and he makes sure his message is loud and clear he’s coming for him in the World Eliminator tournament

Saraya and Renee Paquette have a sit down without Baker, who decided to boycott the interview, so they make the best of the situation. Saraya talks about what she did to become a star in this business, and when Paquette asks the tough question of her current medical condition, Saraya saves that for another time

Baltimore Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson is at ringside for a Gratuitous Celebrity “Sports” Figure Shot™, and that leads to Tony Schiavone with William Regal backstage about the outcome of his little tete-a-tete with MJF. Regal responds that young Friedman has a long way to go to be a true villain, and there’s no argument from me on that front.

And now it’s the time on Sprocetts when we da…

Whoops! Wrong intro. Actually this is time for “ Daddy Ass” Billy Gunn’s Birthday Bash, hosted by The Acclaimed. However, poor Gunn’s hands are taped up after being kidnapped and tortured by Swerve Strickland (if you follow AEW Rampage recap, and you damn better!). and now cannot scissor. Poor Daddy Ass. However, the first gift for him, according to Anthony Bowens and Max Castor is Foam scissor fingers (cheap pop) which are on sale at AEW Shops web page, if ya want them (I ain’t getting a percentage of the sales, so search for it, yerself!)

Bowens also notes that now “AEW” stands for Acclaimed Every Wednesday, and Castor goes out of the ring for a gift that one of the fans has for Gunn, and he picks a young fan’s scissor cardboard as a gift. But wait; that’s not all. The Acclaimed also give Gunn a Worlds Greatest Daddy trophy. Bowens mentions they invited his friends, and….well, some guys canceled and others, he said, were upset you didn’t go to their reunion (ouch!). But the final gift is a certificate of adoption from The Acclaimed, and it shows the adoption is listed to William “Daddy Ass” Gunn. They just need his signature to make it legal. Before they can figure the logistics of getting Gunn to sign anything, The Gunn Club come out and tell their dad that they have a gift for him as well. That brings out W. Morrissey to attack Gunn and ruin the party. Now all The Firm come out, but FTR come for the save and run off The Firm. They hold the AEW titles and return them to The Acclaimed, but there is a serious tense vibe between both tag teams.

Backstage, Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. and Jamie Hayter are with Tony Schiavone. She makes it clear she will not jump on anyone’s schedule, and this is her taking control of the situation. Hayter wants to know why there is all this grief because she just wants to wrestle. That prompts her and Baker to that they’ll come to AEW Rampage and wrestle anyone in a tag team competition.

But we head to hour two, and Bobby Cruise is in the ring to announce the…

Courtesy of AEW

Ring of Honor World Championship Match: “The Ocho” Chris Jericho (with Daniel Garcia and Jake Hager) (c) vs. ???

Jericho lays out his challenge to any former ROH champion to face him in the ring. He even calls out Lamar Jackson, and the Ravens quarterback covers his face. So, who will answer the call?

Well, lookie here! It’s Colt Cabana, and he is a former two-time ROH World Tag Team champion.

(Author’s Rant: For every snarky smark that is going to give their two cents on how this looks in the wake of CM Punk’s Media Scrum, please know you can screw off at this point. I can deal with such idiocy on Reddit and I can deal with it on Twitter, but not here. Not today, Satan!)

*ahem*

Anyway, the fans chant, “Welcome Back!”, and Cabana is fired up and takes it to The Ocho. Jericho bails from the ring for a breather and Cabana follows after him in hot pursuit. Cabana goes for a Chicago Skyline on the top turnbuckle, but both men tumble to the floor. Jericho gets back in the ring first and gets his signature springboard dropkick to Cabana during Picture in Picture, and the match swings in favor of The Ocho.

Jericho gives the badmouth to Cabana and he lands a backdrop suplex for a cocky pin that gets a one count. They go back and forth with “Yay/Boo” blows, and then Cabana nails a hip attack which follows into a double chop. He nails a second rope splash for a two count on Jericho, and then Cabana goes up top for a moonsault press but Jericho scouts it and hits him from behind. Jericho gets Cabana in the electric chair, but Cabana manages a Victory Roll, but Jericho kicks out and attempts the Walls of Jericho. Cabana gets out of the submissions and starts the flip, flop, and fly, but a well-timed eye poke by Jericho ends it. Cabana recovers for a backslide for a two count and then transitions to the Billy Goats Curse submission. Jericho gets out and then nails a Superman Pin, but Hager pulls him off to break the count. As he and Garcia laugh on the outside, Cabana goes out and delivers the Asai Moonsault to both members of the Jericho Appreciation Society. As he gets back in the ring, Jericho delivers the codebreaker and that gets him the pin and the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still ROH World Champion: Chris Jericho

After the match, the Jericho Appreciation Society grabs Ian Riccaboni from commentary and is set to make an example of him, but Castagnoli roars from the back and makes the save. The numbers game starts to look in favor of the JAS but now all of the Blackpool Combat Club come out. Security finally come out to break up the melee, and this is far from over.

Paquete is backstage with Death Triangle. Fénix is excited for his chance at the All-Atlantic title, and PAC wants to help and offers him the timekeeper’s bell hammer. Fenix isn’t keen on that, and Penta steps in and says to Paquette that they’ll handle this.

So let’s head ringside for the…

Courtesy of AEW

AEW All-Atlantic Championship Match: Orange Cassidy (c) vs. Luchasaurus (with Christian Cage) vs. Rey Fenix (with Alex Abrahantes)

John Roberts announces before the match that whoever wins the champion will give a contract to anyone that wants to participate in a chance at the champion. Okay, kinda odd, but I’ll roll with it.

Cassidy and Fenix try to get the big man down at the start, but Luchasaurus is in Godzilla mode. They finally get him out of the ring and Fenix and Cassidy exchange blows in a matchup of Lucha Libre versus Sloth Style. This goes back and forth until Luchasaurus gets back in the ring and double shoulder tackles both combatants. As he conducts a beatdown across the Pangea that is the squared circle during Picture in Picture, he starts to first damage Cassidy and then Fenix. Cassidy comes back with a Stun Dog Millionaire to Luchasaurus and an Orange Punch.

The action spills out of the ring, where Luchasaurus chokeslams Fenix through the timekeeper’s table and then turns his attention to Cassidy fighting up the ramp, but Jungle Boy comes out and hits him with a chair. He then chases off Cage to the back, and spears Luchasaurus off the stage and they crash into a table at the bottom. Back to the ring, PAC comes out and tosses Cassidy in the ring, and offers Fenix the hammer from earlier. He refuses and gets a thrust kick to the champ, and goes for another finisher in midair but one Orange Punch ends it.

Your Winner via Pinfall, And Still AEW All-Atlantic Champion: Orange Cassidy

PAC assaults Cassidy after the bell and gets ready to finish him, but Katsuyori Shibata from New Japan appears from the back along with Rocky Romero and Best Friends. He shoos off PAC from the ring and then stares at Cassidy. Cassidy gives him a contract to sign, and we got a match for this AEW Rampage for the All-Atlantic title

Schiavone is now backstage with Rick Ross and Swerve Strickland. He asks about Gunn’s assault and Ross wants it positive tonight He’s got champagne and everything, and there’s no need for that negativity. In comes Keith Lee and even he wants to know what’s up? Ross and Swerve endeavor to placate the big man, and then Swerve suggests an eight-man tag match with them and The Gunn Club versus The Acclaimed and FTR this Rampage. Lee reluctantly toasts this, because, y’know…positivity.

Now it’s time for the…

TBS Championship Match: Jade Cargill (c) vs. Marina Shafir

Shafir rolls with Nyla Rose these days, and before I started to copy and paste the same review I did months ago between the same combatants for the same reason, out comes Nyla Rose and Vicki Guerrero from the back doing commentary, while Rose wears the absconded title around her waist. Actually, it’s kinda like they’re delivering Mystery Science Theatre 3000 commentary for the match, and while Cargill lays in a solid beatdown to Shafir, she makes a beeline to reclaim her property, but almost gets her counted out as Rose “helpfully” pointed out. Back in the ring, Cargill delivers Jaded, and that’s all she wrote.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jade Cargill

Kiera Hogan attempts to sneak from behind Rose to grab the TBS belt, but she punks her out and heads to the back. Silly Baddie, TBS Belts aren’t for kids.

A video package shows Julia Hart dealing with the remnants of the House of Black, and looks like Malakai Black is buried…or is he?

I dunno what it means, but it looks like that personal time is coming to an end one way of another.

Toni Storm and Jamie Hayter were the best of friends, especially during the COVID lockdown. But all that’s changed, and they will face each other at Full Gear for the AEW (Interim) Women’s title.

But let’s head ringside for the Main Event, which Bobby Cruise announces is for the…

Courtesy of AEW

Ring of Honor World Television Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs Brian Cage (with Prince Nana)

To Quote Todd Kenely, “This is going to the land of the big uglies.” You can bill this as the Swolverine versus Samoan Submission Machine and neither man gives an inch at the start. Cage sends Joe to the corner with elbows and Joe punches out, and he follows with his patented back elbow to an enzugiri in the corner. He then chops Cage in the back followed by a kick to his chest and then drives an elbow drop. Nana distracts Joe from the outside, and Cage lands with a standing dropkick and rains down elbows on the Television champion.

Cage is in control with kicks to his midsection in the corner and a clothesline takes Joe off his feet. He tries a comeback, but the Swoleverine gets a German suplex to the big man. He continues to lay in a beating during Picture in Picture and gets Joe to tumble over the ropes. As he basks in channeling his inner Kanyon when asking the fans “Who Bettah?” he launches over the top rope to land strong on Joe. Back in the ring, the match turns back in Joe’s favor, as he gets in his chop /big boot/senton combo for a two count, and then a powerslam gets the champ another two count. Joe hits the ropes and is caught by a leaping knee by Cage, and he follows up with a 619 (correction: the 559), and he adds an elbow drop for a close two count. Cage gets Joe with a pump handle facebuster and covers for another close two count. He goes for a discus forearm but Joe gets the Coquina Clutch. Cage kicks out of the submission and lands the discus forearm and covers for another close two count. Cage signals for a flatliner, but Joe gets the Coquina Clutch cinched in and the Swolverine has no choice but to tap out.

Your Winner via Submission, and still ROH World Television Champion: Samoa Joe

Right on cue, The Gates of Agony go for the post-match beatdown and now Wardlow comes from the back and chases them out. But Powerhouse Hobbs spinebusters Wardlow and grabs the TNT Belt to stand tall as the show fades to black.

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