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AEW Collision (and Rampage): Ricky Starks is about to get Punk’d

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

CM Punk and Ricky STarks have a staredown.

It’s Saturday night and it’s still all right for Fighting, as CM Punk and Ricky Starks will be on the show t talk about the results of the Owen Hart Tournament, along with other matchups later in the show.

But first, a big “Thank You, Jon!” for covering AEW Rampage last week, as well as to John Powell for covering Collision.  Now that I’m back, let’s start things off with your…

Rampage Review In Rhyme™

*ahem*

Darby Allin won the AEW Rampage Battle Royal,

And The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn defeated QTV (which was joyful).

Kris Statlander retained the TBS Championship belt,

Because Marina Shafir was no Problem, I felt.

It’s amazing that people who watch Rampage are still loyal.

(I know.  You missed this.)

Now cue the music because it’s time for…

AEW Collision

 

We come to you from the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ. Ian Riccaboni and Nigel McGuinness have the call, and Tony Schiavone is in the ring with “Absolute” Ricky Starks, and he discusses the controversy of his win in the Owen Hart Tournament, amid the “You Deserve It!” chants. He answers that if anyone were in his shoes (Prada, BTW), they’d do the exact same thing.  That brings out CM Punk to a John Cena entrance (50/50 cheers/boos), and he’s kinda proud of Starks and states he’s never cheated, unlike the New Jersey Devils (Dude!  Them’s fighting words!). He can live with the “L”, but asks Starks if he can live with the win …without cheating.

Now Christian Cage and Luchasaurus come out, as they are contractually obligated and Cage doesn’t want to be in Jersey for any longer than is allowed with these sweat hogs.  Cage states that as long as he…err, he and Luchasaurus are the TNT champion, and they need to get out of his ring.  Well, Darby Allin has something to say since he won the Battle Royale yesterday and he mentions that he will put respect on the TNT Title soon.  Schiavone hears something in his ear from Tony Khan, and faster than you can say “Teddy Long”, the main event will be a tag team with CM Punk and Allin versus Lucha and Starks.

Earlier today, we get footage of Andrade El Idolotrying to get into the arena before being stopped by security, (and if you look closely, you’ll see a Professional amid the Security Guards).

But let’s head to the ring for the First Match of the night between…

Courtesy of AEW

Action Andretti and Darius Martin vs. Bullet Club Gold (Jay White and Juice Robinson, with The Gunns)

BCG comes out strong at the start of the bell, and then Andretti is in for some high-flying offense.  It isn’t long before the outside interference of the Gunns interfere and that means Andretti’s motor starts to sputter.  Martin tried to interject but he gets thrown into the barricade and it’s Gunns Up from there during Picture in Picture.  Back in the ring, Andretti fights back and nails an enzugiri to Robinson and leapfrogs White to get the hot tag to Martin and he is a Top Flight en Fuego.  A crossbody by Martin gets him a two count and Andretti gets in on the fun with an Arabian press on the BCG and he rolls them in for a count of two.

But it’s all academic as Andretti is strung up in a Tree of Woe and Martin is laid prone in the opposite corner, Robinson nails both men with cannonballs and White delivers the Blade Runner for the three count.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Bullet Club Gold

After the match, The Gunns further beat down Andretti and Martin and they all stand Guns Up in triumph.

Are you there, God?  ‘Cause Miro is ready for a fight, and then Nick Comorado blindsides him faster than you can say, “Hercules Hernandez.”

Obviously, the next match is…

Miro vs. Nick Comorato

But since I am not gonna spend too much time on this match, enjoy this Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

Comorato hits

From the back, but Redeemer

Says it is Game Over!

Your Winner via Submission:  Miro

We get some highlights of FTR’s tag team legacy in All Elite Wrestling…

and then the next match of the night is for the…

Courtesy of AEW

AEW Trios Championship: House of Black (Malakai Black, Brody King, and Buddy Matthews, with Julia Hart)(c) vs. The Acclaimed (Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, and Billy Gunn)

Before Caster can bust some rhymes, House attacks right away, and no scissoring for the fans.  Caster is left by himself and he continues to fight even though he is an Acclaimed in Peril.  He attempts the hot tag, but Black takes Bowens off the apron, and the House keeps on pummeling Caster.  Now Gunn is on the apron, and Matthews is pushed off so that Caster can make the hot tag and Gunn is a Daddy Ass en Fuego (yeah, I’m sticking with that).  But, as Vegas and life has taught me, the House wins as King decapitates with a clothesline and Black hits the Coup de Grace with the Black Mass to retain.

Your Winners, and Still AEW Trios Champions:  The House of Black

Black says something to Gunn after the match, and as they leave Gunn unlaces his boots in the ring amid “You Still Got It!” chants, and he pushes The Acclaimed away as he walks in his socks to the back.

FTR come out and the Top Guys talk about their opponents, MJF and Adam Cole. Wheeler says not to trust them since they know from firsthand experience. Harwood says they will give them an ass-kicking next week on AEW Collision for the AEW Tag Team Titles.

Top Guys, Out!

And the next match is between…

Courtesy of AEW

Taya Valkyrie vs. Skye Blue

Can you feel the excitement of this match?

No?

Then can you feel I’m going to do a Haiku in Review™?

Yes?

Well, then…

*ahem*

La Wera Loca

Hurts the upstart and

Makes Skye feel Blue.  Ouch!

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Taya Valkyrie

Valkyrie has the mic and confirms the Jersey crowd is as worse than she thought (I blame Jersey Shore for this). She calls out Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. to come play with her on Dynamite next week.

No arguments from me on that match.  So let’s head to the Main Event between…

Courtesy of AEW

CM Punk and Darby Allin vs. Ricky Starks and Christian Cage (with Luchasaurus)

Props to Cage working a sleeveless turtleneck

There’s some debate by Cage and Starks on who will start, and “Absolute” acquiesces.. until he tags to blind tag Cage.  From there, Punk takes Cage to school and a tag to Allin allowing both men to double-team the (alleged) TNT champion as they work him down.  At one point, Punk makes an absolute pose, until he gets tagged in and then he sends both men out and Allin nails a coffin drop on the outside.

During the match, a spotlight shine on Scorpio Sky in the skybox watching the match intently.  But as we head back to the ring, Allin tags in with a  tope to Cage and Starks, but the same move doesn’t apply to Luchasaurus as he throws him straight into the announce desk at ringside.  Starks takes advantage with snake eyes in the corner to a clothesline for two.  During Picture in Picture, Cage punishes Allin and tosses him out of the ring.  Back in, he goes for a head-butt dive and misses Allin.  A hot tag later and Punk is en Fuego to boos (despite a Bam Bam Bigelow cartwheel)he manages to nail a bulldog/clothesline combo on Cage and Starks.

Punk then goes up top for the big elbow drop and gets a two count for his trouble.  He attempts the GTS, but Starks blocks it and then he goes for a backslider but gets another count of two.  Now Starks and Allin come in and they unload the heavy artillery, and at one point Starks gets Allin up the top turnbuckle for a superplex, but it gets reversed into an avalanche Scorpion Death Drop.   

Both men go for a series of near falls, but Starks gets the upper hand (literally), as he grabs the bottom rope out of sight from the ref to gain the one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Christian Cage, and Ricky Starks

Ricky Starks has a ton of momentum heading his way as the show fades to black.

 

3.5

Final Thoughts:

Collision is definitely proving to be an interesting place for wrestling on Saturdays, and there are so many questions to ponder.

Is Billy Gunn tired of being “Daddy Ass?”

Is Starks finally getting that overdue push in AEW?

Will Miro be Redeemed?

Will Picture in Picture be left alone and everyone just focus on wrestling?

We’ll find out next week, so see ya next Saturday!

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