WWE WrestleMania: Orton and Rhodes kicks off Night One in Las Vegas

Night One of WWE WrestleMania with Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes vying for the Undisputed title in the Main Event

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

WrestleMania 42 Night One Lineup Confirmed For Tonight

It’s time for the Granddaddy of Them All, as we see Night One of WrestleMania kick off with Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton battling for the Undisputed Championship, with Pat McAfee’s position hanging in the balance.

Yeah, I didn’t think we’d be here to discuss a washed-up football kicker’s place in wrestling. But here we are.

Lin Manuel Marieda starts things off, and then John Cena power walks out in a suit and tie, and welcomes us to WrestleMania:

With that, your (ugh) First Match of the Night is…

The Vision (Logan Paul and Austin Theory) and IShowSpeed (with Paul Heyman) vs. The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) and LA Knight

Yeahhh. Not gonna say more other than I will employ a Squared Circle Sonnet™ to get through this.

Also, to be clear to Knight and The Usos, you deserve better.

*Ahem*

I do not like Logan Paul, Man
I care less for iShowSpeed, man.
The Vision is lost
If the Booker Monkeys™ think I give a toss.
But watching Knight and the Usos is a treat
Which makes watching this match neat
Knight gets the win
And 1-D finishes Paul, then,
But the punctuation by IShowSpeed is a splash
That adds to the flash.

The lesson here, kids

Is that sometimes, there are moments that forbids

The use of some twits,

Because if they persist,

They will proceed to give others the fritz.

As for the match…

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Usos and L A Knight (YeAHH)

I can say with this match…It was quick.

Or to put it another way…it showed speed, so I didn’t get truly annoyed

We see some cameos by Stephen A. Smith, Tyrese Halliburton, and George Kittle, among others.

We go back to the ring for an…

Unsanctioned Match: Jacob Fatu vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre comes down with a Claymore sword, and Fatu dives to the outside. He brings out the tables and chairs (no ladders, on my), and then a toolbox gets employed, and Fatu gets the worst of it
Fatu is in the driver’s seat and goes to use a toolbox, but that gets turned on him. A dive by McIntyre, and he throws him back in to cover and gets a two count. Fatu with the springboard moonsault, which gets him another near fall. McIntyre nails him with a wrench to his eyes, and neither man backs down. McIntyre pushes him off to a table outside.

The toolbox is employed, and a springboard moonsault by Fatu executes the result.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jacob Fatu

Next up is the…

Fatal Four-way Tag Team Match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship: The Irresistible Forces (Nia Jax and Lash Legend) (c) vs. Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley and Lyra Valkyria vs. The Bella Twins (Brie Bella and Nikki Bella)

Bliss and Flair come out with a nice moth and butterfly entrance gear.

Legend and Jax enter with fashionable Demolition gear. But the big news is Nikki comes out with a walking boot, because she didn’t want to ruin Brie’s moment, and in her corner is…Paige?!

Welcome back, I say, as she picks up where she left off with lighting up Flair. At one point, Brie gives the Yes kicks to Flair and Valkyria.

All three teams do what they can, and Jax tags in to overcome the others. Hot tag to Paige, and she is en Fuego. Legend tosses her out, but she overcomes and dives to Valkyria, but reverses to the Paige Turner
Natural Selection and Flair tags to Bliss, but Nikki lays in with the crutch to Flair.

Boots up and Paige delivers the package DDT to win.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Brie Bella and Paige

Now for more women’s action, it is a title match with…

WWE Women’s Intercontinental Championship: AJ Lee (c) vs. Becky Lynch

The Wonder Years play Lynch to the ring, and Lee gets fans to play her to the ring.

They lock up, and Lee plays around with Lynch, showing no ring rust. She starts to get aggressive, showing why she is The Man in the WWE. They go back and forth and Lynch lands with a Manahandle Slam for a two count. Lee cinches the Black Widow, but Lynch escapes the submission. A slam later, and Lynch regains the belt.

Your Winner, and New WWE Women’s Intercontinental Champion: Becky Lynch

We take a break as Cena comes out again for this statistic for WrestleMania Night One…

Now to be outdone, Bianca Belair has her own announcement for the WWE Faithful:

Both things are big, but not as big as your next match between…

Seth Rollins vs. Gunther

Rollins enters in an understated manner (for him), wearing black lenses.

Once they get in the ring, Gunther attacks from behind, and they brawl out of the ring. Rollins retaliates like an unhinged raccoon and once they go back in the match begins.

Gunther is in control throughout the match, but Rollins nails a buckle bomb and connects with a shot of his own. Gunther stays on top until a series of reversals allows Rollin Oedigree and a stomp for good measure for two. A top rope maneuver gets countered to a choke, and Rollins gets out and connects with elbows. He connects with a superplex, followed by a Falcon Arrow for two, and then cinches a sleeper until he breaks the submission. Gunther clears the Spanish table, but Rollins hits a Pedirgree and follows with a stomp. That brings out Bron Breakker, who spears him from the outside
Gunther slaps on the sleeper, and Rollins is out.

Your Winner via Submission: Gunther

There is a moment when we see the inductions to the WWE Hall of Fame, like Dennis Rodman, Demolition, the family of Sid Vicious, AJ Styles, and Stephanie McMahon.

But now we head back to th next match with…

Women’s World Championship: Stephanie Vaquer (c) vs. Liv Morgan

Morgan and some dancers choreographed a striptease to the ring, which is worth watching…

Alicia Taylor gives the boxing style intros, and once the bell rings, both jockey for position. Morgan is in control, but Vaquer shows why she is La Primera. She gives the Devil’s kiss to the noggin of Morgan and covers, but gets a two count. The numbers from The Judgment Day distract Vaquer as Raquel Rodriguez, Dominik Mysterio, and Roxxanne Perez get into the mix, and from there…

Your Winner, and New WWE Women’s World Champion: Liv Morgan

Now for a match someone asked for, and it is for the …

Undisputed WWE Championship: Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Randy Orton (with Pat McAfee)

Again, if Orton loses, McAfee will leave the professional wrestling business for good. Now, if we could only apply the same stipulation to Paul and IShowSpeed.

(Did I say the quiet part out loud? Eh, who cares at this stage?)

Alicia Taylor gives with the boxing style intros until McAfee steals the mic and tries to pump up Orton. Already there is a mixed ready for Rhodes in Vegas

MCafee assaults Rhodes with the mic, and then he gives a Cross Rhodes to send him out, but sadly not for the last time. Jelly Roll finds his way and directs Rhodes to gives a bionic elbow drop to McAfee on the outside, and he gets stretchered out.

Back in the Squared Circle, the bell rings, and both men test each other out. Rhodes comes ahead with a powerslam and attempts a cutter, which is blocked with a backbreaker. Orton climbs up top but gets tripped up. Rhodes deals with a superplex, and Orton is in control. After a rope-assisted DDT, he signals for the RKO, but Rhodes stops it in its tracks.

Orton slams him on the commentary desk, then he throws him to the post, and Orton is busted open.

The boos intensify for Rhodes after he gives Garvin stomps to his opponent, and he gives Orton a taste with a rope-assisted DDT. teases a RKO, but He gives a CrossRhodes for a count of two. The match ramps up with both men, and Rhodes is possessed, slamming Orton onto the desk. They go back and forth until Orton knocks out the senior referee, Charles Robinson.

An RKO stops Rhodes, and McAfee runs out in a ref shirt to make the count, yet Rhodes kicks out at two. Orton RKO’s McAfee and Rhodes gets Orton in a pin for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner, and Still WWE Undisputed Champion: Cody Rhodes

After the match, Orton grabs the belts and clocks Rhodes on the noggin, and then punts him as the show comes to a close.

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