AEW Rampage: Haiku in Review – The Undiscovered Collision

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Rampage: Haiku in Review – The Undiscovered Collision
Mercedes Martinez and Skye Blue and Nyla Rose and Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.

It’s Friday Night and you know what that means? Yes, probably the last time I cover AEW Rampage, since Collision is coming up around the bend, and Friday nights will get Dark.

It’s been evident from the get-go that All Elite Wrestling is pivoting on this show, and the booking has had all the earmarks of a WWE MAIN EVENT, despite the fact that tonight’s main event is a four-way match for the AEW Women’s title, and any of the four wrestlers will face Toni Storm, whether it’s Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D., Nyla Rose, Mercedes Martinez, or Skye Blue

That looks like a good match. As for the rest of the card?

Well, for the last time, enjoy these Haikus in Review™, as we come to you from The Broadmoor World Arena in Colorado Springs, CO . Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Jim Ross have the call and we start right off with the First Match of the Night between…

Courtesy of AEW.

Bandido and The Lucha Brothers (Penta Zero Miedo and Rey Fenix, with Alex Abrahantes) vs. Big Bill, Lee Moriarty, and Ethan Page

A8hem*

Luchas have Cero

Miedo. After Hardys

Distract, Bros stand Firm

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Lucha Bros and Bandido

We then get a QTV segment, but there was something *kinda* of interest for a change. They set up the next match for what fans can expect next week on AEW Collision.

And that match is…

Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Caleb Crush

Can you feel the excitement? No?

Can you feel I’m going to do a Haiku? Yes? Well, all right-y, then…

*Ahem*

Turn the page, and Book

Of Hobbs crushed Caleb

With spine on pine. End.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Powerhouse Hobbs

Renee Paquette is backstage with Arn Anderson and Wardlow. Anderson talks about the message Christian Cage and “The jive lizard” Luchasaurus delivered when they beat his boy Brock down, but they made a mistake and should have finished it, because, “what goes around comes around.” This Wednesday on Dynamite, Wardlow promises to deal with Jaker Hager and then after that, he’ll turn his attention on Cage and Luchasaurus.

Until then, your next match is…

Courtesy of AEW.

The Acclaimed (Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, and Billy Gunn) vs. Spanish Announce Project (Serpentico, Angelico, and Dr. Luther)

Is it me, or is this act starting to get stale? Just Me? Okay, I can take the feedback, just like you can take this next Haiku…

*ahem*

Yo, Listen. Acclaimed

Scissor them, Daddy Ass. Hits

Mic Drop. Bye, Project.

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Acclaimed

Now, Renee Paquette is on the ramp interviewing Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, Satnam Singh, Jeff and Karen Jarrett. Karen states wants to finish up business with the diva, referee Aubrey Edwards. Mark Briscoe comes out with Edwards, who spits strong and notes that although she cannot face Karen one-on-one, she can beat her down if she looks at her funny in catering, going to the hotel, or pulls any shenanigans with Jeff at ringside.

Briscoe gets on the mic and concurs what Edwards mentioned is true. Butt he spoke to the powers that be, and he says there will be a mixed trios match with Jay Lethal, Jeff and Karen facing him, Edwards…and Papa Briscoe.

Honestly, if Mark Briscoe wasn’t involved in this feud, I would have turned this off. Also, Aubrey Ewards is straight fire on the microphone, as the kids would say.

We now hear from the four combatants on why they should be the ones to face Toni Storm for the Women’s title…

And that means it’s time for the Main Event between…

Courtesy of AEW.

Skye Blue vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D vs. Mercedes Martinez vs. Nyla Rose (with Marina Shafir)

There is a big pop for Baker and Martinez. Rose is another strong favorite going into this match…and then there’s Blue.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s great she is getting the rub since it wasn’t that long ago we interviewed Blue. However, the match seems to lack the urgency and the pairing feels off. There is an interesting moment in the match when Shafir tries to run interference and Hikaru Shida steps into the ring and cracks her kendo stick across her back. She chases her off up the ramp swinging away, and that was a damn impressive sight, considering Shida is running in Japanese-style clogs.

There is another scary moment when Rose attempts her top rope knee attack on Martinez, and Baker shoves her off. Rose lands her head and neck on the apron edge before collapsing to the floor below.

As for the rest of the match? Well…

*ahem*

Furious females fight

Hard. Skye Blue makes a surprise

Sunset flip for win.

Your Winner and Number One Contender for the AEW Women’s Championship: Skye Blue

Yep. You read that right. Sky Blue will face Toni Storm on AEW Dynamite, and even she was surprised by the win, as was the rest of the Colorado crowd, and considering their capital of Denver is close to winning the NBA Finals, this is something of a red letter day. But enjoy this post-glow, Blue, as the show fades to black.

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