AEW Collision (and Rampage): Statlander defends the TBS title against the D.M.D.

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

AEW Collision (and Rampage): Statlander defends the TBS title against the D.M.D.
Britt Baker and Kris Statlander go to the limit in the main event fo the AEWS TBS Title (from left).

It’s Saturday night and it’s all fight for fighting, especially if you are the Blackpool Combat Club. Tonight on Collision, All Elite Wrestling has hard-hitting action in Penn State country, where Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. will pose a challenge to the current AEW TBS Champion, Kris Statlander. Is she ready to undergo an examination from The Doctor?

We’ll find out later in the show but first, let’s discuss yesterday with a…

Rampage Review in Rhyme

*ahem*

The Lucha Bros, plus Matt and Jeff Hardy are now on top,

The Kingdom defeated Christopher Daniels and Matt Sydal to make them stop.

Everyone loves The Acclaimed but Dark Order does not,

And Kris Statlander beat Jade Cargill, who’s apparently done with the All Elite lot.

Maybe she coulda stayed if Rampage had matches that were a better crop.

With that, let us head to…

AEW Collision

We are at the Bryce Jordan Center in State College, PA, the home of the Penn State Nittany Lions. Nigel McGuinness and Kevin Kelly have the call, and Bobby Cruise introduces the First Match of the night between…

Bryan Danielson and Claudio Castagnoli vs. Ricky Starks and Big Bill

Starks and Danielson are in the ring…until he tags in Bill, and his power proves to be a big factor. Tag to Castagnoli, and Bill calls for a Test of Strength. The ROPH World CHampion loses that battle until it goes back to Starks and Danielson and it is an Absolute beating until a slap switches things for the American Dragon. However, the numbers and size game play a factor between Starks and Bill and as they isolate Danielson he is a Dragon in Peril. They hit the ropes and they get a double clothesline and now Danielson has a chance. He crawls over for the hot tag and Castagnoli is a Swiss Cyborg en Fuego. He sends Bill to the corner and gives him eighteen clotheslines and then a European uppercut.

The best line for McGuinness as the Nittany Lions count along is, “If they can count up to 20, they can graduate from Penn State.” Hah!

However, a choke slam by Bill on Castagnoli gets him a two count, and then Starks comes in but gets swung around by Castagnoli for a count of two. He goes for the sharpshooter until Bill kicks his head in. Then Danielson dives onto Bill and Castagnoli attempts the Ricola Bomb but Starks reverses to a DDT for another two count. Back to the European uppercut to Starks for a near fall and Danielson in to kick away, and goes for a rollup but Danielson transitions to the LeBelle Lock but he manages to wriggle out. Then he lands a spear to Danielson to cover and Castagnoli breaks the count. Danielson goes up the top turnbuckle and Bill trips him. Castagnoli and Bill battle on the outside, while Danielson and Starks jockey for position, and the American Dragon positions for a belly-to-belly superplex but drops his hips and covers for a two count. One low blow later, and Starks delivers the RoShamBo for the win.

Your Winners via Pinfall: Big Bill and Ricky Starks

The Elite cut a promo on The Mogul Embassy, so hit the red button, Brandon.

Hobbs with the Book on next chapter on Destruction. No one is safe.

Miro has a rebuttal which involves his Hot and Flexible Wife:

I think Miro’s priorities are a bit out of whack, but you have fun discussing that with him.

Meantime, let’s go to the…

AEW Tag Team Champion Open Challenge: FTR (Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood) vs. The Iron Savages (Bronson and Boulder, with Jacked Jameson)

Yeah, you know the drill here. So let’s go to a Haiku in Review™:

*ahem*

No Savage Sauce here

As FTR shows them why

They are Top Guys. Out!

Your Winners Via Pinfall: FTR

After the match, The Workhorsemen come out to challenge FTR next week, while Aussie Open looks on from the back.

Lexy Nair is backstage with Keith Lee, and Shane Taylor interrupts as he introduces Lee Moriarty to his STP. He then issues a challenge for a match and the Limitless One accepts.

But until we see that, let’s see the next match between…

Anthony Bowens (with Max Caster and “Daddy Ass” Gunn) vs. John Silver

Apparently, this was supposed to be Evil Uno and Bowens, but the card is subject to change. Speaking of which, Silver said he did some research and learned they are doing scissoring wrong.

(Author’s Note and Warning: I went online and learned that as well. Please don’t look it up!)

Silver also notes in the contract he has tucked in his trunks that Caster and Daddy are not allowed at ringside. As the Penn State crowd rightly calls “B.S.” over this, Bowens takes it to Johnny Hungee but it isn’t long before Silver works him over and during Picture In Picture he is in full control, and then…

Ads (I normally bitch and moan at this point, but can I say I like the new attitude of The Dark Order of late. They have been rudderless since the loss of Brodie Lee, and one has to wonder who would fill those shoes. I have a suggestion later in this recap, but let’s go…)

Back and Bowens is staging a comeback and it’s a dead heat between both men. A clothesline turns him inside out but Silver connects with a corner boot to a brain buster that gets a two count. Silver lines up and punts but misses, and Bowens nails a neckbreaker into a knee strike and then goes out of the ring and lands a discus elbow. All of a sudden, Evil Uno appears from under the ring and throws Bowens to the ring post, and then a running knee gives Silver the three count.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Jon Silver

We get an Eddie Kingston promo for the ages, so just watch it here:

Now Renee Paquette is backstage with Hook and Orange Cassidy for a…oh, let’s be generous and call it an interview. They suggest over Doritos they tag team at Grand Slam.

Cool.

Moving along, Aussie Open comes out and, the former ROH Tag champs have a tag match. before a Haiku or a Squash recipe can be formulated, they beat whoever the jobbers are in one clean swoop. Then Mike Davis and Kyle Fletcher get on the mic and target FTR and compare their accolades, challenging them for the AEW Tag Team titles at WrestleDream.

Uhh…yes, please!

Now for some Noir, we get RJ City and Toni a Storm with an interview on the AEW Women’s title picture with her and Saraya and how things have changed between the outcast members

Essentially, she’s the same Toni Storm. It’s just the squared circle that got smaller,

That leads us to a Scorpio Sky promo…

And that means our next match is between…

Courtesy of AEW

Andrade El Idolo vs. Scorpio Sky

Idolo offers his hand before the match and Sky shakes the referee’s instead.

Okay, then.

They have a nice back-and-forth match, and Sky shows no signs of ring rust, but El Idolo catches him with a dragon screw leg whip between the ropes and he goes up the top turnbuckle, but Sky pushes off to tumble to the floor. During Picture in Picture Sky is firmly on offense against El Idolo but he continues to tweak his knee with more dragon screw leg whips followed by a flying clothesline, and then he attempts to connect in the corner but Sky stops him. He goes for a couple of roll-ups for a count of two. El Idolo attempts the hammerlock DDT, and Sky gets a rollup for two, and then Idolo transitions from a Figure Four (Woo!)to a Figure Eight and Sky taps out

Your Winner via Submission: Andrade El Idolo

Now they shake hands, but then Jay White appears. He tells Idoloa he needs the Switchblade Spotlight© and challenges him to a match on next week’s Collision.

We get a recap of the feud with Don Callis and Kenny Omega and how he wants to target Kota Ibushi

Schiavone with Katsuyori Shibata, and through the power of Google Translate he states he is coming to WrestleDream.

And our next match is…

Courtesy of AEW

The Hardys (Jeff and Matt Hardy) vs. The Righteous (Vincent and Dutch)

If you are not familiar with The Righteous, imagine what would happen if White Zombie became a tag team faction.

Yeah, you’re welcome.

Basically, The Hardys put up a fight throughout the match, but Dutch stopped Jeff’s Swanton Bomb and assisted Vincent with a spinning cutter to get the pin.

Dutch and Vincent get on the mic and ask the crowd if they now dig what they’re saying after beating The Hardys. But they got their sights set on other things like the current ROH tag team champs, Adam Cole and MJF. It’ll be interesting to see if they can beat Better than you, Bay Bay.

Personally, I think it would be a better use if The Righteous and The Dark Order merged forces.

Just a thought I had. So, booker monkeys…make it happen!

Tony Schiavone is backstage with FTR responding to Aussie Open, and they answer their challenge once they get past The Workhorsemen.

Next, Schiavone has Starks and Bill, and they want a Texas Death Match. Simply put, Starks wants to put an end to a Danielson before any dream match with Zack Sabre, Jr.

Jim Ross joins at commentary for the Main Event and it is for the..

Courtesy of AEW

TBS Championship: Kris Statlander vs. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.

Statlander had defended the TBS less than 24 hours ago against Jade Cargill, so she may be running on fumes. Baker comes decked out in Nittany Lion colors to the delight of the Penn State fans, and I now hate her a little more.

(Author’s Salty Note: It was at the beginning of January 2023 in the Rose Bowl that my alma mater The University of Utah lost to Penn State. I chose to flip off an obnoxious Nitanny fan at the local bar, who decided to jam my middle finger as a result. Therefore, anyone who has an alliance with Penn State has made my enemies list and I hope nothing but the worst for them, collegiately and personally. I am not a crackpot; just very vindictive.)

The bell rings and both women feel each other out even though there is a lot of love in Baker’s favor (BOO!) Stalander attempts a move but lands awkwardly on one of her bad knees. Baker comes back with a neckbreaker but the champ returns with a powerslam for a count of two.

During Picture in Picture, Statlander has a twenty-second vertical suplex and uses her power to keep Baker down. Baker finally gets the champ up the top turnbuckle but gets sent down and as she goes for a moonsault Statlander ends up belly-flopping dead center of the ring. Baker stun guns her on the top rope and then drags her down and rams her knees into the ring posts.

Baker then goes to multiple sling blades but Statlander comes back with a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall, and then quickly lands a Michinoku driver for another two count. Baker manages to trip up the champ and goes for a curb stomp for another two count. Then she pulls out the glove and attempts her Lockjaw submission but Statlander rolls through for a close pin attempt. Both women are firing live bombs and Statlander is close to getting some near falls, but Baker pulls out all the stops with a Canadian Destroyer, followed by the Angel Wings and then a curb stomp for a close two. She goes up the top turnbuckle, and Statlander catches her but she transitions to an Octopus stretch into a Lockjaw.

Statlander goes down and then rolls Baker’s shoulders to the mat for the one, two, and three!

Your Winner, and Still AEW TBS Champion: Kris Statlander.

Both Statlander and Baker shake hands after the match, and even though we briefly see Julia Hart watching on in interest, Statlander stands tall as the show fades to black.

Top Photo: Britt Baker and Kris Statlander go to the limit in the main event for the AEW TBS Title (from left).

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