The National Wrestling Alliance continues to send a Shockwave on their signature live event, and nothing is more shocking than a hair/mask match between Gaagz the Gymp and Alex Misery. Max the Impaler, free of the influence of Father James Mitchell, will have a mystery opponent face them later in the show for a spot in the Dane Memorial Tournament. Who would dare to face The Warrior of the Wasteland?
We’ll find out later in the show as we see some of the stars of the NWA at a grand opening of Gulf Coast Muscle, a gym based in Largo, FL. The NWA World’s Heavyweight champion, Thom Latimer, says a few words while the Women’s champion, Kenzie Paige cuts the ribbon to open the facility officially. During this time, the NWA Television champion, Carson Drake, and Tommy Rant of The Slimeballs talk…
Well, “talk” is kinda subjective as Drake does the talking and Rant grunts.
Meanwhile, Tommy Henry speaks to the champ on Aron Stevens and to keep his head on a swivel, with Latimer assuring this isn’t his first rodeo. On the other side, Kylie and Hunter are making eyes until big sis Kenzie wants to join in on the fun. You can tell Kylie is having none of this, and I gotta feeling there’s more in store for these crazy kids.
In any case, we come to you from the OC Theatre in Forney, TX. Joe Galli, Billy Corgan, and Danny Dealz have the call, and your First Match of the Night is the…
Hair vs. Mask Match: Alex Miseryvs. Gaagz The Gymp
The special referee is Joe Ocasio and his body language states he’ll call it down the middle.
As soon as the match starts, Misery attacks right off the bat and Gaagz holds his own against the madman. At one point, Gaagz gets shoved into Ocasio and is shoulder-tackled by the Long Island Landmine. Gaagz almost gets Ocasio, but Misery rolls him up for a two count. He locks the masked man in a Camel Clutch but Gaagz escapes the submission, only for Misery to catch him with a back elbow for another two count. Misery goes up the top turnbuckle and, to quote Galli, “There’s no water in the pool.”
Gaagz tackles him in the corner and uses his horns to butt him in the midsection. He whips Misery to the corner and tries again, only Ocasio gets the worst in the breadbasket. Using the distraction, a springboard cutter by Misery finds its mark and he covers but just can’t put Gaagz away. He drags the masked man to the corner and Misery climbs up the high-rent district and comes down for a 450 splash and he misses and rolls through the move. Gaagz grabs his nose, then rakes his back, and he unzips the mouth to reveal the tongue. Gaagz cinches in a dragon sleeper, but Misery tugs at the mask and gets shoved once again into Ocasio as he counts for two.
Ocasio has had it with Misery and he lays down the law. Gaagz seizes the moment and attempts his Gaagz Reflex finisher but Misery stops him and crotches on the top turnbuckle. He tries to loosen the mask again Gaagz retreats to the outside, goes under the ring, and brandishes a kendo stick. Ocasio tries to restore order as both Gaagz and Misery hold the bamboo weapons…and then Gaagz cracks it across The Long Island Landmine’s back, followed swiftly by Misery. There’s no one to call the match as Ocasio was the authority in the ring, and it seems clear that they are returning the receipt from a few weeks ago.
As for this match? Eh, call it a…
Double Disqualification Due to The Power of Douchenozzlery
Erstwhile, we come back to the same bar with the Southern Six members. Kerry Morton talks up his win last week over Wrecking Ball Legursky. “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason throws some cold water and reminds us he’s in the tournament too and he’ll face Colby Corino, even though Big Daddy Thrill doesn’t feel like he’s worth his time. Morton tells him that they got his back and to watch out, and that leaves Thrillbilly heated. Taylor once again tries to be the peacekeeper here and reminds them the belts will be under their Southern sky soon enough. With the beef quashed for now, a bartender gets them shots.
Hey, brothers gotta bicker sometimes.
Speaking of bickering, your next match is women’s tag team action between…
Tiffany Nieves and Miss Starr vs. The Money Birds (Ladybird Monroe and Gigi Rey)
The Moneybirds are both making their debut in the NWA, having trained for a couple of years under the Houston-based Reality of Wrestling promotion helmed by WWE Hall of Famer Booker T.
Right away, the ‘Birds made an impression on Nieves with speed, agility, and great tandem moves that wouldn’t be out of place in a Young Bucks tag match. Overwhelmed, La Princesa ducks out to have Starr tag in and Monroe connects with a spinning sling blade to cover the second-generation Starr until Nieves breaks the count. As the ref tries to restore order, Starr slows the pace on Monroe as she is a Moneybird in Peril. Tag back to Nieves and she relishes the moment until Monroe gets a desperation schoolgirl for two. They both get back up and drop the other with a double clothesline. They crawl to their corners, where Monroe gets the hot tag to Gigi and she is en Fuego with a double underhook suplex to La Princesa and knocks Starr loopy with a step-up enzugiri. Once again, Nieves causes a distraction, and that allows Starr to plant Gigi with the Starrstruck DDT and cover. Nieves helps get her feet on ropes and the ref catches her red-handed. She and Starr argue as Monroe nails La Princesa with a Mafia kick from the apron edge. As Starr looks on in disbelief, Rey stacks her up for the upset win.
Your Winners via Pinfall: The Money Birds
Nieves and Starr have a row over who cost them the match as the Money Birds celebrate their first win in the NWA.
At a wrestling gym that would only befit a carny, Aron Stevens is chatting it up with the NWA Mid-America champion, Jeremiah Plunkett, buttering him at his “School of Excellence.” They talk business and Stevens makes it clear to Plunkett that he wants his help to provide information on Latimer and ruin his character in the NWA. Carson Drake and Tommy Rant come in and Stevens welcomes them both. He says he needs help with some other champs, and Drake asks what’s in it for him. Stevens makes it clear he is a bigger name than Drake. Feeling the disrespect, Drake says he is done with everything about Stevens, “including his lack of charisma,” and walks off.
That’s a lot of chutzpah to walk away from Stevens.
Now for your Main Event and it is a…
Dane Event Memorial Tournament: Max the Impaler (2) vs. Frank (7) (with Brandon McCord)
The former Judais has now got a new chrome dome look to go with his new name. Corgan explains that Austin Idol talked to Mitchell about buying out his contract. A few greased palms later, he is now being led to the ring by McCord. There’s some relation to him and Idol, from what I gather, and now you know most of the story. As Max comes out, they pause briefly to stare a hole at their former tag partner.
The bell rings and Frank gives a big boot to Max and backs them up in the corner to work in some bodyshots. Frank is finding his groove and at one point is biting on Max’s head, and for the first time in a long time, The Non-Binary Nightmare is the underdog. He sets Max up in the corner, and Frank backs up and nails them with a running boot. Max is no pushover as they grab his beard and push back, but Franks whips them to the corner. Max explodes out of the gate with a spear and then…
Ads (Even Corgan agrees with me when he says, “You can’t go to break right now!” Sounds like someone is in a position of power to do something about it, eh?)
We come back and Frank gives a zombie sit-up before Max hits a flying knee to his mush, followed by a senton. Then Max swings at McCord who ducks out of their grasp and they rush to the corner, only to have Frank catch them and he launches Max with a tremendous fallaway slam as they roll out of the ring. Frank is in pursuit and they brawl on the outside, and Max is biting away to return the receipt from earlier. Back in the ring, Max swings those forearms. He attempts a choke slam, and Max blocks the attack. Frank delivers a sky-high bomb for the one, two, and three. That means…
Your Winner, and Advancing in the Dane Memorial Tournament: Frank
Well, Frank has a date with Kerry Morton down the road, and The Rizz God will have his hands full.
Thom Latimer is cutting a promo with a camera crew about the importance of the NWA and holding the Ten Pounds of Gold like Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, and Harley Race. That’s when Burchill interrupts, and he looks pale. Latimer asks what’s wrong, and then Burchill states he’s got his back before showing him something on his phone. Latimer looks on, takes off his sunglasses, then growls, “Aron. Stevens.” He storms off, and whatever was shown can’t be a good thing as the show closes.
