The Unbreakable Bunch

Tommy "Milagro" Martinez

The Unbreakable Bunch
The Unbreakable Bunch

‘The Unbreakable Bunch’ a low-budget fun wrestling-sci-fi mix

A group of aging wrestlers decide to return to the squared circle, and as they make their way on a loop in Florida, they are faced with a hostile alien takeover. But the bad extraterrestrials are no match for this unbreakable bunch in The Unbreakable Bunch.

Yeah, definitely not going to be an Oscar contender, but as a low-budget sci-fi/horror B-movie, it’s good to watch something that isn’t going to be too think-y from this creation out of Power Point Legacy films.

As I set to review this, my editor suggested getting my friend, Melissa Merlot, to watch with us. When she doesn’t watch reality shows, she and her husband are connoisseurs of horror movies and sci-fi films. Plus, I knew Merlot from my brief foray into comedy, and I knew she would be down for a laugh.

But before we get into film proper, I do need to make an…

Author’s Confession: Merlot and I had consumed quite of bit of milkshakes I created with a Spiced Rum courtesy of one of my sponsors, Outlaw Distillery. What happens next is a bit of a jangled mess over 90+ minutes of watching this film. That said… drink responsibly when watching this film. We are professionals.

The story premise came from Ray Lloyd, who wrestling fans will remember from WCW days as Glacier. (At one point, I explained to Merlot his gimmick in those days was a knockoff of Sub Zero from the Mortal Kombat games.) Lloyd is Jock Holliday, and after a fellow wrestler passes away in a car accident, he sets out and recruits others like Mack Brown (Ernest “The Cat” Miller), King Tonga (Meng/Haku), Burning Love (Luther Biggs, channeling some Fat Elvis Presley/Bubba Ho-Tep wardrobe), and The Legend (Larry Zbyszko) for one last go in the wrestling ring.

Now, if some of you are getting Oceans Eleven vibes, you’re not far off. As for the acting caliber of this movie, it’s a far cry from that. But really, did you come here to see Shakespeare, or to see aliens getting bodyslammed?

As the Bunch starts this Blood and Thunder tour, we also see when the aliens land on our planet via a mysterious asteroid (like ya do), and this was how me and Merlot reacted:

Merlot: It’s starting with a couple making out in a car, as all wonderful movies do, right?

Milagro: And a hairy guy and a girl making out. Oh, there’s the asteroid slamming to Earth

Merlot: He’s in the car while she went out to investigate the noise. What is up with that nerd? Oh, and now there’s a tentacle. It’s coming out of the asteroid.

Milagro: And It’s attacking homeboy in the car.

Merlot: The girl is getting some kind of weird tentacle reaction.

(Yeah, I never thought I would write those words, but here we are.)

About the first hour is devoted to watching the old wrestlers and their interactions with fans, Floridians, a brief backstory of Holliday, and sleazy managers interspersed with scenes of aliens trying to take over. Of the wrestlers, King Tonga was Merlot’s favorite, and the best part came at a big showdown. Once again, enjoy our Mystery Squared Circle Theater viewing:

Merlot: It’s the big alien guy versus mighty King Tonga still. Uh-oh, Burning Love tries to shoot him but it doesn’t really matter.

Milagro: Never!

Merlot: These aliens have like zombie powers and… There’s a girl coming out of the ammo shop with a bazooka.

Milagro (singing like Morrisey): Girl with a Bazooka. I swear, I swear, it’s serious!

Merlot: She’s giving it to Burning Love.

Milagro: Phrasing, boom.

That said, if you need something to tune out the world, this is the film. Now it’s not on par with Ready to Rumble or They Live, but it’s just good dumb fun. Between the two of us, Merlot and I gave this four shots of rum out of ten for alien tentacles, getting the Bunch back together, Righteous Gemstones vibes, a pizza-eating brawl, a Diamond Dallas Page cameo, zombie possessions, and sleazy wrestling managers.

As to how to sum up the movie’s potential between the two of us:

Merlot: I think it could have used more gore because I’m a gore hound. But it did great, like it built up the characters to where they are likable. You’re cheering for them. The aliens are pretty intimidating and threatening thanks to that big one.

Milagro: What was the one big thing for you that stood out in the film?

Merlot: A big thing for me was the camaraderie of the wrestlers, doing this for their friend who passed away in a car accident. That was awesome, and then there just happened to be aliens.

If nothing else, catch up on The Unbreakable Bunch on streaming services in the United States like Apple TV+ and Amazon Prime, or for rent on other sites.

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