We are less than a month away from NWA 75, and everyone is jockeying for a spot on the card in the National Wrestling Alliance. Not only is Kenzie Paige putting up her NWA Women’s Television title on the line against Angelina Love, but Koa Laxamana wants to issue a challenge later in the show. So let’s get to StudioOne in Highland Park, Il. Joe Galli and Tim Storm have the call for a triple-threat match with…
Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta
Chris Adonis vs. Dak Draper vs. Damage (with Aron Stevens)
Damage wrecks Draper as the bell rings while Adonis bides his time. Adonis is impressed until Damage slaps him, and then he slaps on the Masterlock, but that allows Draper to return fire. Now he and Adonis trade blows, and Draper comes out on top with a handstand knee drop to his face. It isn’t long before Damage is back to destroy Draper methodically. He manages to schoolboy Damage for a near fall and he clotheslines him for his trouble. Adonis gets back in the mix with a flying tackle, and Draper nails a gutwrench powerbomb to Damage, but Adonis comes from behind to slap on the Masterlock. Draper fights his way out and heads to the ropes, where Stevens catches him with his loaded glove, and Adonis gets the ‘Lock back on. Draper is in no position to fight out, and he quickly passes out.
Your Winner via Submission: Chris Adonis
It’s now time for Gymp-A-Mania™ to run wild for this next contest, and it’s a…
Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta
Submission Match: Gaagz the Gymp vs. Judais
Gaagz tries to avoid locking up with Judais, but he grabs him by the horns and tosses him around the squared circle like a sack of potatoes. He crawls under the ring to avoid Judais and then comes up on the other side to attempt a sleeper, and then the Gymp starts raking his eyes. He tries to punt right in the nether regions, but Judais blocks it. Gaagz works in a dragon sleeper but Judais overpowers easily and throws him headfirst into the top turnbuckle. Big boot to Gaagz, and then he stun guns his neck on the top rope. He clobbers away at the prone Gaagz and goes for a choke, and he…loves it. The sick little masked freak is enjoying every minute.
(Author’s Note: Never kink shame another person, no matter how freaky their fetish may be!)
The Priest of Punishment continues the pain with a fallaway slam, and he signals for the choke slam and delivers with brute force, but Gaagz is still in the fight. Now he goes for a crucifix bomb and Gaagz. Is. Loving. The. Pain. All of a sudden, Jeremiah Plunkett comes out for the save and he takes the choke slam from Judais. Sal the Pal runs out wearing swimwear and throws in a (beach) towel to stop the match, and the ref calls it.
Your Winner via Referee Stoppage: Judais
After the match, Judais doesn’t stop and continues his attack by choking Gaagz with the towel. This feud between the former members of the Miserably Faithful is far from over.
May Valentine is backstage with the NWA US Tag Team Champions, The Country Gentlemen. She addresses their loss to Odinson and Jordan Clearwater on last week’s Powerrr, but AJ Cazana says they set the tone for the US Tag title division. “The Thoroughbred” Anthony Andrews adds that they don’t sit around, they go to every town to sharpen their skills, and no matter who steps in their way, they will still hold the title straps.
Next up is tag team action between…
Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta
Robert Anthony and Eric Jackson vs. Joe Alonzo and Fodder (with Angelina Love)
This is Chicago native Anthony making his debut in the NWA in front of his hometown crowd and unmasking his full potential.
*ahem*
Fodder backs Anthony into the corner, but Anthony reverses to chop away at the Psycho Boy. He and Jackson display some nice tag chemistry as they give a double suplex, and then Anthony slams Fodder to cover for a count of two. Tag to Jackson, and as he hits the ropes, Alonzo kicks him in the back. The distraction is enough for Fodder to take advantage and he and Alonzo keep him isolated. Jackson has no Action and is In Peril at this point until Alonzo whiffs a clothesline and Jackson nails a snap suplex. To create separation. A hot tag to Anthony and he is on Fire. He struggles to get Fodder in a surfboard and that allows Alonzo a perfect target to land a superkick and he delivers a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the win.
Your Winners via Pinfall: Fodder and Joe Alonzo
It’s time for DLZ, and Danny Dealz is here with all the deals and the gossip, like an announced six-man tag match between Vampiro and La Rebelion against the Brothers of Funstruction at NWA 75. Also, Kenzie Paige swung her weight with the NWA front office to make sure Pretty Empowered get another tag title match, and the stipulation has yet to be announced. Dealz tries to get a word with Austin Idol and he is tight-lipped for once.
Again, this is still better than “QTV.” Tell me when I’m telling lies.
May Valentine talks with Vampiro and La Rebelion facing the Brothers of Funstruction, who reported said they can’t wait to boot them out of Illinois. Vampiro explains that wolves hunt in packs and they are vicious, but those clowns are gonna talk to them like that? Mecha Wolf adds that they are the current reigning and defending NWA Tag Team champs, and when these wolves attack them, there won’t be any clowning around.
But, let’s get back to the squared circle for a title match for the…
Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta
NWA Women’s World Television Championship: Kenzie Paige(c) vs. Angelina Love
The title is contested under the Television rules with a 6:05 time limit. As the bell rings, Paige trash-talks Love to distract her, and she rolls up the champ for a quick two count at the 5:30 mark. Paige keeps doing her best to run out the clock, and Love proceeds to shove her to the mat. Paige grabs her and pulls Love hard into the middle turnbuckle at the 5:01 mark and rushes into the corner for a back elbow. She whips her to the corner but Love reverses it for a clothesline and covers for another two at 4:44. A poke to the eye by the champ allows her to lock in a sleeper, but Love fights her way out of the submission and nails Paige with a backdrop slam for another near fall at 4:01.
Now she’s fired up as she rams Paige’s head on all the turnbuckles, but she has the wherewithal to roll out of the ring at 3:01. She manages to pull Love out of the ring and slams her head on the apron, and Paige covers for two at 2:24, much to her frustration. She connects with a superkick and Love rolls away to get her bearings. Paige stays in the ring since a count-out victory will apply here, and as the ref reaches nine, Love rolls back in with 1:13 left. Paige attempts the Kenzie Cutter but Love reverses and delivers the Botox Injection to drop the champ, but can’t capitalize as she is just as spent. Paige rolls out and tries to stay as far away from Love, and as the clock ticks she tries to get her in the ring. Once she gets ahold of Paige, the bell rings and that means…
Your Winner via Countout, and Still NWA Women’s Television Champion: Kenzie Paige
That’s another win, and that means she is closer to cashing it in for a title shot at The Burke.
All right you Juggaloes and Juggalettes. Violent J is here, and he will be in the corner of The Brothers of Funstruction. J says that his running buddy back in the day, Vampiro, inspired him to return back to the squared circle.
(Author’s Note: I have never understood the appeal of Insane Clown Posse, and I doubt I ever will. That said, I say, “Serve up a Faygo, Violent J, and show me what you got.”)
Valentine has the members of Pretty Empowered with her as she does her best to get a straight answer out of the bratty version of The Freebirds. Basically, it boils down to this: they will face M95 for the NWA Women’s Tag Team championships, and it doesn’t matter if it’s Ella Envy, Roxy, or Kylie Paige; they will wear the gold again.
Koa Laxamana is in the ring with Kyle Davis and he challenges Kerry Morton to a fight in the ring for disrespecting him and his woman during his match with Ricky Morton. Speaking of which, Ricky comes out with Alex Taylor, and he tells Laxamana “he doesn’t want that smoke,” but he has someone else from The Southern Six that will face him tonight:
Thrillbilly Silas Mason.
So, your Main Event is…
“Thrillbilly” Silas Mason vs. Koa Laxamana ( with Kalleis)
This is less a wrestling match and more of a severe drubbing at the hands of the Thrillbilly as he nails Laxamana with a huge uranage. Mason just manhandles the Hawaiian Hitman, as he takes his fingers into the holes of the turnbuckle hooks and drives a boot to them. He attacks Laxamana’s lower back and gets him in a camel clutch with a fishhook, but releases before the ref can disqualify him. The fans try to rally behind him, but Mason doesn’t let up as he gives him a powerbomb and then a backbreaker into a bow and arrow stretching the back of Laxamana. Mason goes for a boot to the corner and Laxamana dodges the attack. He attempts a monkey flip in the corner, but Mason turns it into a one-armed Thrillride as he delivers him straight to the mat to cover for the one, two, and three.
Your Winner via Pinfall: “Thrillbilly” Silas Mason
After the match, Kerry now makes an appearance taunting the crumpled body of Laxamana. Then Ricky asks Kalleis for his kiss, and she slaps him hard. Mason steps in and Kalleis slaps him as well, as The Southern Six walk away to admire their handiwork as the show goes to the credits.
Final Thoughts:
Adonis/Draper/Carnage held a great triple-threat match, and Paige and Love had a great Television match. Paige is really perfecting her “chickens*** heel” character as it relates to the Television title.
As for Violent J coming back to the squared circle…eh, it was the least-offensive thing I remember from the latter days of WCW, and that says a lot. So, again…show me what ya got.
Until then, see ya in seven!