NWA USA: The Fixers find themselves in a fixed match

We are mere days away from the NWA 312 pay-per-view, and everyone is trying to get some momentum going into Chicago. The Fixers just want to keep the NWA US Tag Team titles, even though they aren’t the champs. It’s kinda sad when you see someone lose and they cling to the notion that they want to stay in power long after they were beaten out.

*cough*Trump*cough*

Apologies. Must be something in the air. But let’s head to the PBS Studios in Tampa, Fl. Joe Galli, Tim Storm, and Velvet Sky have the call and the First Match of the night is…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

Madi & Missa Kate with La Rosa Negra vs. The Renegade Twins (Charlette and Robyn Renegade) with Ruthie Jay

Negra and Jay start off, and the newcomer is taking it to the veteran as she pushes her into the corner. The Renegades and Jay keep her isolated and really go hard on offense. This is especially true of Robyn and Charlette as they stare down the current NWA Women’s tag champs from the other side of the ring. Negra finally shoves Robyn to her corner and Madi and Kate utilize some nice double-team chemistry with a snap facebuster and Kate adds the exclamation point with a handspring senton to cover for a two count. Negra comes back in with three Amigos for another two count.

Robyn is a Renegade in Peril, but she catches La Abusadora with a step-up enzugiri. She makes the hot tag to her sister Charlotte and she is a Renegade en Fuego. She catches Negra with a flapjack and nails Kate with a fisherman’s suplex with a high bridge, but Madi breaks the count on her tag partner. Kate fires back with a Kick Fillet to Jay and a pump kick to Charlette, and then she ties up Jay in a SuffoKate (a modified Koji clutch) in the center of the ring, and she taps out.

Your Winners via Submission: La Rosa Negra and Madi and Missa Kate

May Valentine is with “That Dude” Jamie Stanley and he claims he’s “not here to talk about ‘me’, but ‘we.'” By “we” he means him and his client Joe Alonzo. Stanley lists off the opponents Alonzo has deposed, from PJ Hawx to Alex Taylor, and now they want what is deserved. He calls out the current NWA Junior Heavyweight champion, Kerry Morton, and to stop hiding behind his dad and face his man. Stanley promises Alonzo will take the belt on NWA 312.

Speaking of upstarts, your next match is…

Courtesy of the NWA. Credit: Hiban Huerta

Natalia Markova vs. Labrava Escobar

This is the debut match of Escobar, and there is little information about her in my research, other than she has worked in independents like Pride of Wrestling (POW). There is some indication she is a protege of sorts of La Rosa Negra.

In any case, Escobar starts with a strike to the throat, but Markova fires back and chops her chest for the receipt. Markova hits the ropes and nails a spinning neckbreaker for two, and then Escobar goes out and pleads off, but Markova kicks her in the face for good measure. She pulls in The Crush and stun guns her off the top rope, then Escobar nails a clothesline for a two count. She kicks her legs and nails a step-up enzugiri to Markova that gets her another two count. Escobar goes from behind in a waistlock to a German suplex, but Markova transitions midair to a facebuster. She strikes the upstart with kicks and attempts the Beautiful Disaster but Escobar ducks out of the way. She then proceeds to stomp on and rams her knee/leg to the mat to soften her up, then Escobar toe hold twisting to a pin but Markova punches out. She proceeds to kick Escobar with the bad leg and she is feeling the effects. Markova manages to land a Jazz Stinger to cover for a two count. At one point, Escobar comes up bleeding from the mouth but keeps fighting back. She attempts the waistlock again but Markova pushes her back to the corner and delivers The Beautiful Disaster kick and that is enough for the pin and the win.

Your Winner via Pinfall: Natalia Markova

We head backstage with May Valentine and she has Sal the Pal, or “Sal-vation” as she announces him. As for what’s on his mind, well…let me have him speak:

“Oh, where does anyone begin? One way is where I was born a baby(laughs). Love is pain, highness, anybody that tells you any different it’s just selling you something. I need to sell it back to the father because I’ve lost the father but not the son. No, The Son is I, and I in him.

Where have I been? Where are you going? I know where I’ve been…shooting the cover of Playboy (Laughs).

Father, Father, Father, Father, please forgive me. Father, please forgive me for I will come back and I will make it right. See at the end of the day is the night, but at the end of the night, we have the day. So why don’t we all get together and play.

See ya later, May!”

Pro tip: Listen to this while playing “Helter Skelter.” You’ll thank me later.

Kyle Davis is in the NWA Control Center and he gives a rundown of the matches, but wait for my outline of what to expect on NWA 312.

There is a recap of the NWA POWERRR main event of Tyrus and BLK Jeez having a“friendly exhibition” tag match but read it here if you missed it.

May Valentine now has one-half of the SVGS, Blake “Bulletproof” Troop, and Chris Silvio, Esquire, as well as the current NWA US Tag Team champions, The Country Gentlemen. Silvio states that his guys would love to take titles from you. The Gentlemen are not even intimidated, as Anthony Andrews tells Silvio to “keep his puppy on a chain”, and AJ Cazana chimes in and says to Troop, “to keep your eyes in the back your head, or I’ll knock ’em sideways!” Troop gets the last word to Cazana. “Yeah, I’m looking at you, big boy, and I’m gonna tell Dane that I want you, and let Dane chew you man up right here. There ain’t nothing gonna be gentle about what me and The Dane Event are gonna do to you two. Tap, snap, or nap; we’ll leave with your belts. Bang bang!”

And that is your sleeper event on the NWA 312 Pre-Show, ladies and gentlemen.

As for your Main Event, it is between…

The Fixers (Jay Bradley and Wrecking Ball Legursky) vs. VHS and Porter

The Fixers come in still wearing the decommissioned NWA US titles, and Bradley tells a stagehand to hang onto the belts or there will be trouble.

(Author’s Note: This is a squash match and I should, by rights, deliver a Haiku In Review™ or find a squash recipe. But I’ll let this play out.)

Porter starts out and gets a wristlock control on Bradley, then he tags in VHS, but he has trouble controlling the big man. Legursky gets tagged in and it’s too much power for VHS as the Wrecking Ball drops him with a high powerbomb and a huge chop to the chest for added measure. The Fixers are simply not kind and won’t rewind their offense on VHS, and like videocassettes (look them up kids) he is in Peril. The Fixers nails an atomic drop/big boot combo. Bradley then drags VHS’ torso halfway out of the ring and clubs his chest for the Red, White, and Blue and then swings his upper body back in the ring where Legursky gets an elbow drop. VHS gets a hot tag to Porter but he is not en Fuego and The Fixers get a body slam sandwich, and hold the mayo because he is finished in one, two, and three.

Your Winners via Pinfall: The Fixers

As The Fixers celebrate, NWA owner William Patrick Corgan comes out and grabs the NWA US Tag belts, but the Fixers argue it’s theirs. Corgan says they’re going back with him to be placed in a museum, and really…you wanna cross the boss? The Fixers don’t, and the show goes to credits.