It’s Wednesday night, and you know what that means? Apparently, it’s to have a mitzvah on this AEW Dynamite where Maxwell Jacob Friedman will celebrate in style and exorcise his painful nerdy past. Oh, and we have a pair of Trios matches throughout the night, the big one being for the Trios titles between the Jericho Appreciation Society and The Elite as they face the current champs, The House of Black.

Dale Plummer and I are switching recaps this week, but we will cover all the AEW action for your reading pleasure.

We head to the Canada Life Centre in Winnipeg, MB. Excalibur, Taz, and Tony Schiavone have the call, so with little hope of a delay and way too much fanfare, here’s the …

MJF’S Re-Bar Mitzvah

MJF is led to the ring with a bevy of beautiful women, and he’s all decked out in a suit complete with a yarmulke, and gosh damn if he isn’t the Gold Standard of The Power of Douchenozzlery™.  He tells the crowd that this mitzvah is a do-over because after beating Bryan Danielson in the Iron Man match,  he became a man when he defended the “Triple B.” He says he is Iron Man, and I refuse to play Black Sabbath on the grounds that he is a pompous ass.

Before the party gets into full swing, we get some party crashers like “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, Sammy Guevara, and Darby Allin, and all three say to MJF in Stereo “We want a championship match.” Perry starts by saying he feels like MJF has been doing the same “hokey bulls***” when there are others more deserving of the ring time and the spotlight.  That needs to change and the first step is to take away that belt. Before MJF can respond, Guevara tells him to shut it before, “your re-bar mitzvah becomes a re-circumcison.”  Even Guevara says he talks too much, and as opposed to him he overcame obstacles to be a three-time TNT champion, and he’ll get there. Allin gets the last word and says he like AEW because he gets to be himself, and he doesn’t complain or start rumors of a “bidding war in 2024,” but also has a stake in the title picture.

Well, the champ says he’s “all meshuggah in this bitch”  but says he’s better than all of them, and they are free to leave his party.  As he bids them farewell, MJF pie faces Perry and it’s a Pier Four brawl in the ring.  As Allin and Guevara trade blows, Perry sends MJF out of the ring, and he lands on a table with his mitzvah cake.

Four challengers for the AEW Heavyweight title?  Oy, MJF has his work cut out for him.

But let’s go to the First Match of the Night between…

Courtesy of AEW

“Hangman” Adam Page & The Dark Order (Evil Uno & Stu Grayson) vs. The Blackpool Combat Club (Claudio Castagnoli,  Wheeler Yuta, & Jon Moxley)

This is retribution by The Dark Order for the dastardly acts of late by The Blackpool Combat Club.  Yuta and Uno kick off the match, but he then gets shoved to the Club’s corner and is worked over for the early part of the match.  Uno manages to get the tag to the recently returning  Grayson and he goes on full offense with jumping the ropes to slam Yuta on the ring apron, then a Meteora to Castagnoli and a uranage to Mox followed by a tornado DDT back to Castagnoli.  He is looking great until Yuta sends him tumbling from the ring and Castagnoli slams him into the barricades, and then The Blackpool Combat Club nails Grayson with the triple spike piledriver.

Castagnoli works over Grayson during Picture in Picture, and all three men keep Grayson isolated as a Dark Order in Peril.  Mox gets sent to the ropes and Grayson manages a desperation high knee lift.  A hot tag to Page and he has his “Cowboy S***” all up in the BCC’s grill.  Then Uno tags in and lands a Swanton that drills Yuta.  A tag to Mox and he and Page reignite their feud, before it can escalate, Yuta gets Page with the ring bell while the ref’s back was turned.  The Dark Order go right to Mox and Castagnoli to defend their compatriot, but Yuta chop blocks Uno, and Grayson launches at Castagnoli.  Finally, the tables turn, and The Dark Order with the 450 splash/cannonball combo for a two count, and then they get Mox with their finisher and cover, but Yuta breaks the count.  There are a lot of near falls between both teams, but Castagnoli nails with an elevated European uppercut and Mox follows up with the rear naked choke, and Grayson taps out.

Your Winners via Submission:  The Blackpool Combat Club

Mox switches to the bulldog choke to add more injury to Grayson and Uno tries to make the save but the Combat Club numbers catch up and they swarm on him.  John Silver and Alex Reynolds come out to chase them off, and this feud between the teams looks far from over.

Juice Robinson cuts a taped promo and talks about the way he laid out Ricky Starks recently.

And now with even less fanfare, let’s head to the ring for the…

TBS Championship Canadian Challenge: Jade Cargill(c) (with Leila Gray) vs. Nicole Matthews

Matthews is a Vancouver product well known in Canada and was featured in promotions like SHIMMER.  She has made the rounds, and this is where I need to mention the following:

(Author’s Note:  When I switched assignments, I must confess I was getting tired of AEW Rampage recaps.  It got to the point I was doing the recaps in haiku form, and I explained why in my last recap.  I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do that tonight.  I really hoped that.  But like Pacino in The Godfather, Part III: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!)

So, for you new readers, here is a taste of a Haiku in Review™, Dynamite Edition:

*ahem*

Cut the S***! Cargill

Beats Matthews in the ring as

Jaded finishes.

Your Winner, and Still TBS Champion:  Jade Cargill

Renee Paquette enters the ring and asks for her thoughts on the 54th win.  Cargill scoffs and asks what competition is there in the crowd. Then Taya Valkyrie comes out to answer.  As she climbs through the ring ropes and stares down Cargill, she attacks Gray and sends a message using The Road to Valhalla, which is a variation of Cargill’s own finisher.  

Well, I guess some things are gonna change in the next few weeks in the programming with the NWA and MLW moving forward.  Good on Valkyrie, and I know I’ll be rooting for her to take the title from Cargill.

Tony Schiavone is backstage with Ricky Starks and he is not impressed with Robinson’s explanation. But since everyone keeps gunning for the Abolute, he shrugs and says in so many words this is nothing new.  As for Robinson’s challenge, he’s game “Anytime, any place.”

We get the debut of QTV, and they have a TMZ vibe with this promo. They have a scoop on who broke into Wardlow’s car, and (spoiler alert) it was them.

This is just as tiring as the TMZ show itself.

Speaking of tiresome things, here is the next match, and it’s for the…

AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy(c)vs. Jeff Jarrett (with Satnam Singh, & Sonjay Dutt)

As Cassidy comes out, he acknowledges a fan in a Shockmaster cosplay and then swaps out the All-Atlantic belt with the International belt. 

That’s all the interest I have going into this match.

Between Cargill’s and Cassidy’s title matches these days, I can’t tell you which is more “meh-tacular” most days.  However, I will give the edge to Cargill finally having an opponent in Valkyrie that can measure up.  I like Jarrett’s work and he is a great heel in his own right, but… we know where this is going, right?

Yeahhh.  Time for another Haiku in Review™

*ahem*

Jarrett struts and styles

While hobbling Cassidy.

But, Orange Punch hits.

Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still AEW International Champion:  Orange Cassidy

Max Caster drops a new track, so…Please to enjoy!

The Outcasts, consisting of Saraya, Toni Storm, and Ruby Soho come out to a chorus of boos and lay out their grievances.  Saraya has the best line as she addresses the “Neckbeard stinky t***s” in the Centre as she says without them there wouldn’t be a division.  Then Storm ticks off the women they’ve gone through from Skye Blue, Willow Nightingale, Riho, Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D., and Jamie Hayter. Well, that brings out the AEW Women’s champ and the good doctor herself spoiling for a fight, but the numbers of The Outcasts catch up. Before any spray paint can be used, Riho leads the charge along with Blue and Nightingale and they chase off the Outcasts. As Baker and Hayter come to their sense, there seems to be an understanding between Riho and them.  So, I guess the enemy of my enemy Outcast is my friend in this lesson learned.

Angelo Parker and Mike Menard plug their appearance on this week’s Rampage and I say, “Good luck, Dale.  I truly owe you some genius juice from one of my many TV TAN Podcast sponsors (shameless plug).”

Don Callis joins at Commentary for the main event for the…

AEW World Trios Championship: The House of Black (Brody King, Buddy Matthews, & Malakai Black) vs. The Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, & Nick Jackson) vs. The Jericho Appreciation Society (Chris Jericho, Daniel Garcia, & Sammy Guevara)

The Centre gives a huge pop for Winnipeg’s other favourite son Omega, rivaled only by Jericho’s entrance.  Ahh, the Power of Fozzy.

King and Guevara start, and it isn’t long before the monster of The House easily overcomes him and Garcia before Jericho is tagged in.  As they circle, King gets in The Elite corner where Omega tags himself in, and the fans are unglued as a potential rematch between the two Winnipeggers, but before any wrestling is done, we get a Pier Nine brawl all during Picture in Picture.

The House manages to take control, with King just laying a beatdown on The Ocho himself.  Black is tagged in and they go for their respective finishers and miss.  Jericho lands a spinning backbreaker and then tags Guevara and they land with a double shoulder tackle before the JAS goes for the Pose of Douchenozzlery™.  Black fights back, but the numbers of the JAS catch up to him.  He’s sent to The Elite corner and a blind tag to Nick allows the Young Buck to enter and orchestrate some high-flying aerial assault to stun the JAS but Matthews gets him on the outside, and then props him into a crucifix position and sends him crashing to Black’s knee between the ropes.

Now it’s The House holding all the cards as they isolate Nick to make him an Elite in Peril.  All looks hopeless until he finally gets the tag to Omega and he is a Cleaner En Fuego all up in this House.   He throws Matthews to the JAS corner and Jericho is in.  Before they can get started, they briefly team up to clear The House of Black out of the ring.  Once the dust settles, Excalibur notes it’s a hockey fight on center ice for all the Jets fans in attendance at the Centre.  The match becomes more chaotic as bombs are thrown all through the match.  Omega attempts a V-Trigger, but Jericho blocks and gets him in the Walls of Jericho that lasts a second before The Young Bucks throw him a Superkick Par-tay.  Bodies are strewed in and around the squared circle, and during the second Picture in Picture, we finally get the rematch with Omega and Jericho and they leave it all out in the ring to the fans’ delight.

It isn’t long before the JAS knocks off the Young Bucks, and then King attempts a high-risk move up the top turnbuckle.  Jericho and Omega cut the big man off at the pass and they team up once again and nail a double superplex to King to send him crashing to the mat.  after that, it’s back to business as Jericho goes to a Codebreaker on Omega to cover for a two count, and he tries a Lionsault and gets Omega’s knees.  Meanwhile, Matt hits his Northern Lights suplex series on Garcia and then gets him and Guevara in the last suplex.  amidst all the melee in the ring, The House of Black run roughshod and finally takes back control and utilizes their triple team Dante Inferno finisher to cover Garcia, but Omega breaks the count.  King goes after Jericho in the corner and he uses his trusty bat”Floyd” to knock him down, as Guevara almost loses his footing and gets the spare on the outside.  Jericho covers Kingo but only gets a two count.

The end finally comes when Garcia is singled out and Matthews and King deliver Dante’s Inferno and they cover him for the one, two, and three.

Your Winners, and Still AEW Trios Champions:  The House of Black

After the match, Jake Hagar comes out for a fight, and the House takes the big man down. Then the Blackpool Combat Club and The Dark Order come out from the back as their brawling hadn’t subsided since the First Match.  The Club is in the ring and Page stares them down.  Before they can advance on the Hangman, The Elite comes back in the ring, and they make a retreat. Before Page can turn around the show fades to black so we’ll have to figure out his fate another day.

RELATED LINK

Winnipeg AEW show indeed Dynamite for those in attendance

AEW Dynamite - 03/15/2023
3.5

Final Thoughts from the Canada Life Centre in Winnipeg, MB.

The Trios matches at the beginning and the end of the show were fantastic and very engaging and the reasons why this show deserves those 3.5 stars.  However, the donut hole booking for the middle left a lot to be desired, although it did give me a chance to sharpen my haiku game.

Be sure to catch the Rampage report this Friday, but until then…see ya in seven!