It’s Friday night, and you know what that means? No, not to be denied a Speaker of the House position…again and again and again. It’s your AEW Rampage and Darby will defend his newly won TNT championship versus Mike Bennett of The Kingdom, and then we’ll jump to the Battle of the Belts V, where a few championships will be up for grabs, 

We’re coming to you from the Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Portland, OR. Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Chris Jericho, and Jim Ross have the call, and we start off with…

AEW Rampage 

Courtesy of AEW

Your First Match of the night is…

Courtesy of AEW

Top Flight (Darius and Dante Martin) vs. Jon Moxley & Bryan Danielson

Before Moxley gets to the ring, Top Flight is already flying out of the ring to take the fight to the Club.  Top Flight is in fine form with tag chemistry, and Dante attempts a sunset flip to Mox, but he tags in Danielson and he lights him up with Yes Kicks.  Danielson gets him up top and nails a huracanrana to Dante but the aerialist lands on his feet.  Tag to Darius and he sends out Danielson and then dropkicks Mox out of the ring.  Now all four men are in the ring and it’s a slugfest, but the Blackpool Combat Club gets the better of Top Flight.  on the outside of the ring, Mox sits Dante down in a chair and gives him a boot, then Danielson and Mox squash Darius in corner of the guardrails.

Back in the ring, Danielson gets Dante with a surfboard and then pulls his head back for a nasty-looking Dragon Sleeper, then forearms the side of his head.  Mox and Danielson take turns dishing out the pain, and Dante is like Southwest Airlines (In Peril) all through Picture in Picture.  As Danielson and Mox tee off with kicks to his chest, they back up for a big one, and then Dante ducks and their shins connect.  A hot tag to Darius and he is a Flight En Fuego.  Danielson goes back to his kicks and Darius chops back and gets a Spanish Fly. Danielson manages to tag in Mox and Darius catches him with a springboard flatliner, then tags in Dante who lands a flying senton for a two count.  Top Flight are busting out their aerial assault, including this complex move exchange…

Dante gets some serious hang time with a frog splash, but Mox rolls him into a key lock to hammer elbows.  He goes for a powerbomb and Dante reverses with a Victory Roll for two.  Mox fires back with the King Kong lariat and gets the two count.  We head into the endgame and both teams get near falls and big moves as Danielson lands with a Busaiku knee to Darius for two.  Mox gets Dante with an axe handle smash on the outside, and Danielson stomps Darius unconscious and cinches the STF as the referee calls the match.

Your Winners via Referee Stoppage:  Jon Moxley and Bryan Danielson

Hangman Adam Page is on camera and he states he now has medical clearance from his doctor.  He is just itching to fight Moxley and he will get his revenge for knocking him out with the King Kong lariat.

 

Now for your next match…

Jamie Hayter & Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. (with Rebel) vs. The Renegade Twins

Yes, poetry fans, this is the best time for a Haiku in Review™.

*ahem*

Both Renegades fight,

But Hayter is gonna hate.

Baker curb stomp. Done.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  Jamie Hayter and Dr. Britt Baker, D. M. D.

The House of Black speaks, and Malakai Black says he misses the Eddie Kingston who was violent, not this guy currently in AEW.  He and the rest of the House of Black entreat him to join their dark side.  They’re here to help him.

And now for more time filler, here’s…

“Perro Peligroso” Preston Vance (with Jose the Assistant) vs. Sónico

Sonico is a masked wrestler based out of the Pacific Northwest area.  fans in attendance gave him props before he just lays out the luchador.  It’s been a while and I do not recap squash matches, so enjoy this recipe for Calabacitas (cheesy Mexican squash) because in the time it took to look up the recipe, it was one lariat and done.

Your Winner via Pinfall:  Preston Vance.

After the match, Vance rips up his mask and drags his carcass out of the ring and up the ramp to add further insult to injury.

Renee interview Darby Allin last Wednesday on winning the TNT Championship belt from Samoa Joe. Before he can speak, Mike Bennett and The Kingdom come out.  He lists all his accolades and suggests Allin put up the title to add to his impressive resume. Allin’s game and says he’ll see him on Friday

That takes up to Mark Henry, who’s with Allin and Bennett on their final thoughts before the match. Bennett promises Allin he’s never seen darkness like him, and he’ll make sure he knows what true darkness is like once he takes the belt. Allin retorts that he wrestled his first match in Portland and was told he wouldn’t amount to anything, but looked where he is now.  The past doesn’t matter and it is all about this moment, Allin says, so he tells Henry to hit the catchphrase. 

He obliges since It’s time for the Main Event…

AEW TNT Championship:  Darby Allin (c) vs. Mike Bennett (with Maria Kanellis)

Excalibur notes that Allin isn’t skateboarding down to the ring, so there may be some lingering effects from the brutal match he had less than 48 hours ago with Samoa Joe.  As the bell rings and it’s Boston Strong Style versus the unorthodox champ.  Bennett is starting strong with a kick to Allin’s bad knee and then sends him to the outside, throws him into the guardrail, and follows with a big boot.  he gets an assist from Taven to send him to Allin, who ducks away and he crashes hard to the guardrails.  Allin gets back in and hits a tope that connects with Taven.  Bennett dodges another attack by Allin and then lands a huge Russian legsweep from the apron to the floor.

During Picture in Picture, Bennett gets a wristlock slam to the champ and he is firmly in the driver’s seat.  He goes for a suplex and then it gets reversed by Allin to a Scorpion Death Drop and Allin creates some space.  He tries a big boot, but Bennett scouts the move and nails a dragon screw leg whip to Allin’s bad leg/knee.  He continues to control his bum leg and Allin fires back to make Bennett release, but he comes back with a DVD for a cover.  Allin kicks out at two.  Bennett goes for a piledriver but it is reversed and Allin goes for a sunset flip, but Bennett gets him in a Fujiwara armbar.  Allin reaches the ropes to break the hold.  Back on the outside, Allin sets Bennett on a chair and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and nails a missile dropkick.

Back in the ring, Allin goes for the Coffin Drop and Kanellis comes in and shields her husband to give pause to the champ.  Taven uses the distraction to kick Allin off the top while the ref gets Kanellis out of the ring. Bennett uses the opportunity to cover Allin but its another two count.  They battle on the top, and Allin gets the upper hand and lands an avalanche Code Red and follows with the Coffin Drop to cover for the one, two, and three.

Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still AEW TNT Champion:  Darby Allin

Rating for AEW Rampage:  3.5 Stars

Allin is still celebrating as the show switches over to the…

Battle of the Belts V

The commentary goes over how Jarrett and Lethal came within an inch of claiming the AEW Tag Team belts this week on Dynamite, and because they felt they were “cheated” of their victory, they wanted an immediate rematch tonight, and that’s why we now have a…

Courtesy of AEW

No Holds Barred Match for the AEW Tag Team Championship: The Acclaimed (Max Caster and Anthony Bowens, with “Daddy Ass” Billy Gunn) (c) vs. Jeff Jarrett & Jay Lethal (with Satnam Singh and Sanjay Dutt)

(Author’s Note:  I’m a huge fan these days of Max Caster’s rhymes during their walk down the ring, and this was a good one, so Please to Enjoy!)

Jarrett and Lethal attack right away and this match goes everywhere in the building, including on the top of the ramp where Lethal has Bowens in a Figure Four leglock, and they both roll down the ramp as he escapes the painful hold.  Once the dust settles and they’re all in the squared circle,  The Acclaimed has the early advantage with a double suplex to Jarrett that gets a two count.  Caster slaps Singh and then slips back in the ring with a standing dropkick. Then he and Bowens whip Lethal into the corner.  They attempt to hit Scissor me Timbers but Jarret knocks Bowens off the top turnbuckle. Then Lethal nails a tope to Bowens and Jarrett sends out Caster and he and Lethal strut their stuff.

During Picture in Picture, Bowens is isolated by Jarrett and Lethal, making him an Acclaimed in Peril.  At one point Bowens nails Lethal with a hard clothesline and he crawls to his corner. A hot tag to Caster and he is an Acclaimed en Fuego.  He gets Jarrett in an ankle lock, and then Lethal elbow drops the ref, and then all hell breaks loose.  Bowens gets Jarrett with a leg lariat, and finally, a new ref comes out to make the count but too much time has passed and he only gets two.  Jarrett teases the guitar and Bowens fights fire with the boom box. Gunn gets in the ring and grabs the guitar and smashes it over Singh’s head.  it does nothing as Singh double choke slams The Acclaimed and then choke slams the new ref.  Dutt seizes the opportunity as he takes off his referee jersey as Lethal hits the Lethal Injection on  Bowens.  He’s in a prime position to make the three count but gets pulled out by Head Referee Aubrey.  Dutt and Aubrey briefly argue and she then breaks his pencil(!) and shoves him out of the ring.  As Lethal looks on, Bowens catches him with The Arrival and Caster delivers the Mic Drop for the pin and the win.

Your Winners via Pinfall:  The Acclaimed

Powerhouse Hobbs is here to let us know The Book of Hobbs shares every pain he’s gone through and blood that he’s shed, and everything that has happened to him will happen to you.

I’m curious if that can be found in e-book format.

Meanwhile, Ortiz and Eddie Kingston respond to House of Black and questions Eddie. All right, says Eddie, and then he suggests they face House of Black on Dynamite next week, and then he can ask his questions about him then.

With that, let’s go to the next title bout of the night, and it’s for the…

AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill (c) (with Leila Gray) vs. Skye Blue

(Author’s Rant:  I think is is a good time to look at our own Jonathan Schwartz again on his thoughts of Cargill’s undefeated streak because it is not blowing up my skirt.  Maybe when she challenges Hayter or Baker, that will be a different case.  But not today.)

Blue uses her speed and agility to be a match for Cargill, but it isn’t long before she gets her hands on the upstart and dominates.  I was almost in Haiku mode until Cargill nails Blue with a choke slam on the ramp and Blue barely moves, but the former Baddie Red Velvet comes out and stares daggers at Cargill.

Blue fires back with a kick and goes for half Nelson, but Cargill reverses to bicycle kick and Velvet starts walking down the ramp and talks smack at the TBS champ. Gray gets in her face and is slapped for her troubles.  Blue reverses the Jaded finisher and hits a Code Blue to cover for one, two…oooh, so close.  Blue has the momentum going for her and attempts a huracanrana, but Cargill is too powerful and she transitions to Jaded for the pin.

Your Winner via Pinfall, and Still AEW TBS Champion:  Jade Cargill

Lexy Nair with Stokely Hathaway, Lee Moriarty, and Big Bill. States they are a force to be reckoned with. As far and Jungle Boy and Hook as concerned, they are on borrowed time, and Hathaway promises they’ll meet them in L.A. next week on Dynamite.

Willow and Ruby Soho challenge Anna Jay and Tay Melo to a Street fight next Rampage. Yes, please!

Now let’s get to the Main Event of this Battle of the Belts, and this is for the…

AEW All-Atlantic Championship: Orange Cassidy (c) (with Danhausen)vs. Kip Sabian (with Penelope Ford)

No sign of the Best Friends as Cassidy comes down the ramp, due to last week’s shenanigans, so Sabian’s psychological warfare may be paying off.  Cassidy goes for an Orange Punch right out of the gate and Sabian ducks.  The match goes back and forth between the two, and Cassidy is more aggressive and losing his cool.  At one point Sabian is outside the ring singing mockingly to Cassidy, “In your Headdd/In your hea-aadd.”

Enjoy that earworm, folks.

Now The Bunny comes skipping down and she and Ford block Cassidy from attacking Sabian, and he then he assaults him.  Sabian is in control physically and mentally and gets an Arabian Press to Cassidy as he, Bunny, and Ford hug because you Don’t Give The People What They Want (but you do want to play mind games still).  Danhausen comes over and curses Sabian, who bites his fingers. Cassidy launches with a tope suicida and follows in the ring with a diving crossbody.  He goes for a DDT and Sabian blocks the move, but Cassidy manages to get the Stun Dog Millionaire.  He attempts another diving DDT and Sabian reverses into a corkscrew neckbreaker on the floor.

During Picture in Picture, Sabian tries to pin him but can’t put him away.  Sabian attempts a submission but Cassidy wriggles out.  He whips Cassidy hard from one corner of the ring to the other and follows with a corner senton. Sabian dips in the well once too often and Cassidy slid under the bottom rope.  They battle up the top turnbuckle and Cassidy finally nails a superplex.  He takes off his elbow pad to wind up the Orange Punch, but Bunny grabs his leg.  The ref sees the interference and ejects her from ringside.  As she walks off in a huff, The Butcher and The Blade come out and knock out Danhausen in the process, leaving Cassidy without anyone in his corner. They get chairs for a good seat, and Sabian is still living rent-free in Cassidy’s head using his patented “chops” and Cassidy has had it. Sabian gets the better of Cassidy with a head butt and a knee and then follows up with a fisherman’s buster for a two count.  He tosses Cassidy out of the ring again, and now Butcher and Blade set up the chairs to break him in half, but Chuck Taylor and Trent Beretta come out for the save.  Back in the ring, Sabian nails another corkscrew neckbreaker for a two count, and then uses Cassidy’s own Orange Punch, but the All-Atlantic champ does not go down.  He loses his temper as he unleashes all his arsenal on Sabian with a DDT, a punt kick, and the Beach Break to cover, but he gets a two count.  Cassidy stomps him in the corner.   He is so frenzied, the ref tries to get Cassidy to break it up, and in his rage, he shoves him down.  He is beside himself until Sabian tries to roll him up, but Cassidy escapes and delivers the Orange Punch, but doesn’t go down.  A second Orange Punch later, and Cassidy covers for the One, Two, and Three.

Your Winner, and Still AEW All-Atlantic Champion:  Orange Cassidy

After the dust settles, Sabian gestures to Cassidy that despite his win, he’s still in his head and you can tell this is far from over as the show fades to black.

Rating for Batlle of the Belts V:  4

3.8

Final Thoughts:

Both Rampage and Battle of the Belts benefitted from great First Matches and Main Events.  The edge goes to Battle, because the angles in each match added something extra.  Now, if only Battle of the Belts has an actual title change going forward…?

Until then, see you in seven!