AEW Dynamite: Best Friends get justice for Sue’s van

Sometimes you just have to stand up to bullies. When an evil tag team smashes your man’s minivan, the only logical way to take that stand is to challenge them to a Parking Lot Fight. Logical in pro wrestling terms, anyway. That very scenario is playing out in tonight’s main event, so let’s get to America’s center of wrestling, Daily’s Place to take it all in on TNT.

With Jurassic Express already in the ring, the Young Bucks decide to make themselves known as well. They superkick the referee, then tell Tony Khan if he wants to fine them … well, that’s why they left that stack of bills with one of the backstage workers. FTR mocks the Bucks as they pass backstage, which surprisingly doesn’t lead to a physical confrontation.

Match 1 – Jurassic Express vs. FTR

This is a non-title match since FTR expressed their view that Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus would have to work for a shot, but it sounds as if it’s a done deal that said title shot will be theirs if they win this bout. It would be a little strange if the champs lost, even without much at stake, so soon after winning the gold. Maybe the Bucks will cost them somehow after what we saw before the match, or Hangman Adam Page considering what they put him through. The point is that FTR has a lot of enemies. None of them intervene, however, and with some typically underhanded tactics, FTR gets the victory.

Winners: FTR by pinfall

If there’s a situation backstage, you can bet Alex Marvez is on it. Matt Hardy has been ambushed by someone, and while he’s being tended to by Private Party, Chris Jericho and Jake Hager stop by to voice some less than sincere concern. Conveniently, they’re also wrestling Private Party tonight. That’s what we call synergy.

Match 2 – Frankie Kazarian vs. Hangman Adam Page

Former Page partner Kenny Omega joins the announcers to help call the action, though he is immediately grilled by Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone about why they aren’t a team any more. Surely Kenny isn’t out there just to have another person at the table, right? Since these guys can both really go, it’s nice to see them allowed to have plenty of time to work. After a number of close calls, Page finally puts Kazarian away with the Buckshot Lariat. Omega heads immediately for the back, leaving Page looking disappointed and calling for a beer.

Winner: Hangman Adam Page by pinfall

A video package sets the stage for tonight’s main event, the Parking Lot Fight pitting Best Friends against Santana and Ortiz.

Match 3 – MJF (w/ Wardlow) vs. Shawn Dean

Well this is the very definition of a squash, with MJF getting a tapout to the Salt of the Earth almost as soon as the bell rings.

Winner: MJF by submission

But come on, you knew MJF was mostly out there to talk anyway. While the fans serenade him with “you’re a loser” chant, MJF complains about Jon Moxley cheating to beat him and forces Justin Roberts to announce him as “the undefeated, undisputed, uncrowned world champion of All Elite Wrestling, MJF.” The most interesting part comes at the end, as MJF teases joining a stable since so many are popping up in AEW. Hmm …

Speaking of stables (though Eddie Kingston doesn’t like to call it that), Kingston and his crew are out in the ring. He repeats his assertion that he was never eliminated from the battle royal and reminds us that he and his peeps are a family, not a stable. Except they’re a family of violence, meaning they pull Griff Garrison and another AEW Dark talent from the crowd and lay a beating on them. Okie dokie. Kingston ends by telling Blade it’s time for him to get his house in order, though gives no clues as to what exactly that means.

Match 4 – Private Party vs. “Demo God” Chris Jericho and Jake Hager

Yes, there’s actually a match coming, not just people singing along for minutes to Jericho’s entrance theme even after the music stops. Man we’re just giving all these matches lots of time tonight (except MJF, obviously), and that’s not a bad thing at all. Private Party deserves this as they don’t always get a spotlight like this. The end is hardly a surprise, though, with Jericho pinning Isiah Kassidy with the Judas Effect. Jericho locks Kassidy in the Walls of Jericho after the bell, but Marq Quen gets a small measure of revenge with a Pele kick.

Winners: Chris Jericho and Jake Hager by pinfall

Match 5 – Ivelisse (challenger) vs. Thunder Rosa (champion) – NWA World Women’s Championship Match

If Rosa is sticking around, it’s only right that she defend her NWA title, so this is a pretty cool deal. Ivelisse is getting a good push as of late too, so she makes sense in this spot. The announcers note that Rosa has only been a pro wrestler for five years, making her in-ring prowess that much more impressive. A hard fought bout ends with Rosa retaining only to be jumped from behind by Diamante. Hikaru Shida chases her off and returns the NWA belt to Rosa in a show of respect. You love to see it.

Winner … and still NWA World Women’s Champion: Thunder Rosa by pinfall

Miro is good at lifting weights, but what he really wants to do is get in the ring. The Best Man is also going to throw Kip Sabian the best bachelor party, naturally.

Even though he’s not happy about it, Lance Archer needs tag team partners for the six-man bout next week. He finds them in a somewhat unlikely place as Jake Roberts calls out Taz, who pledges Brian Cage and Ricky Starks as his teammates. The deal between Taz and Roberts is that when Archer beats Moxley for the world championship, Cage gets the first title shot. Om cue, Mox walks in toward the top of Daily’s Place only to get ambushed by Cage and Starks. Will Hobbs comes to the rescue with a steel chair, conveniently being named Moxley’s partner. For a third man, Moxley implores Darby Allin to “get your ass to Jacksonville next week” so they can take on Archer and company. Hey, this is a big step up for Hobbs, Good for him.

Main Event – Best Friends vs. Santana & Ortiz – Parking Lot Fight

This is giving me some Attitude Era vibes, in a good way. It’s mostly a no holds barred match in a circle of cars, with some creative uses of both the vehicles and other random plunder. And while we’ve seen Santana and Ortiz in things like the Stadium Stampede, we really haven’t seen Best Friends in a situation like this too often, if at all. I’d make a joke here about whether AEW can afford all the cars getting smashed up, but I suddenly remembered that the Khan family is super duper rich. They can handle the bill. Trent takes a couple of mean bumps. including a double powerbomb into the front windshield of a car. He’s bleeding from the back but still pressing forward somehow. Just as the Inner Circle appears to have the upper hand, Orange Cassidy pops out of a trunk and hits the Orange Punch with a chain wrapped around his fist. Trent delivers the Crunchie through a wooden board in the bed of a pickup truck and finally brings this symphony of violence to a conclusion.

Winners: Best Friends by pinfall

Trent’s mom Sue pulls up in a new minivan to give Best Friends and Cassidy a ride home, but not before stopping to flip the bird, presumably to Santana and Ortiz. That seems a fitting way to end things for the week. See you in seven!