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WrestleMania XX bombs

John Powell

WrestleMania XX was promoted with the slogan: “Where it all begins again.” After last night’s positively abominable pay-per-view broadcast, it is apparent what the ‘it’ actually means. It means more relentless frustration for wrestling fans as the thoroughly clueless WWE continues on their course of utter self-destruction.

One of the most awful and dullest WrestleManias in recent memory, the anniversary show was a celebration of everything that has led to the wrestling promotion’s tailspin in popularity. From the cookie-cutter matches to the lack of storyline continuity, WrestleMania XX did nothing to satisfy long-time fans or to bring new ones into the fold. In fact, it probably served to turn more people off their embarrassingly inferior product which shows no signs of improving in the near future as many of their top superstars are leaving or taking time off from the organization.

The WWE’s failure time and time again to deliver when they needed to the most and their total disconnection from their fan base was never more evident than at WrestleMania XX where disappointment reigned supreme. The mediocre bouts all merged into one big, tiresome, draining blur leaving the broadcast with few highlights except for John Cena giving the Big Show two FU’s, a tortured Molly Holly getting her haircut, Trish Stratus turning heel and Chris Benoit celebrating his WWE World Heavyweight Title win with Eddie Guerrero.

Though World Championship Wrestling acknowledged Chris Benoit’s phenomenal work rate and skill with a World Title victory in 2000 when he defeated Sid Vicious, the WWE played his WrestleMania victory as his first such win. Unfortunately, the messy Triple Threat match with champion Triple H and Shawn Michaels was not even close to the high caliber matches the Canadian Wolverine is used to participating or is known for. Instead of employing some creativity to propagate the one-on-one battles, the bookers were content to engage the knock ’em-out-of-the-ring-for-the-time-being strategy. That decision in itself made the resulting saves so predictable. The first big knock ’em-out-of-the-ring-for-the-time-being move came when in an act of unity, Triple H and HBK double-suplexed Benoit through the Spanish announce team’s table.

With Benoit out cold, a posted and bloody HBK taunted HHH in the middle of the ring. Minutes later, HHH would be posted and come up bleeding as well. Out of nowhere, Benoit saved HBK from a HHH Pedigree. HBK would return the favour by giving Benoit Sweet Chin Music as he wrapped up HHH in a Sharpshooter. Benoit would backdrop HBK over the top rope as he went for another superkick. With HBK out of the equation, HHH attempted a Pedigree on Benoit. Benoit reversed it into a Crippler Crossface. After almost fading away entirely, HHH escaped the Crossface only to have it applied again. Triple H tapped out handing Benoit the win.

The heavily pushed Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg bout was an unmitigated catastrophe which sparked ‘Boooring!’ cat-calls throughout Madison Square Garden as fans berated the muscle-bound grapplers for engaging in a five minute staredown. Aware of Lesnar’s rumoured intention to quit the WWE after the match, fans chanted ‘You sold out!’ and sarcastically sang him goodbye. In a rare moment, commentator Jim Ross even acknowledged the Internet gossip on air and termed Lesnar’s recent conduct as ‘disappointing’. Goldberg and Lesnar locked up in a test of strength several times and traded shoulder block after shoulder block. That monotonous series of maneuvers just enraged fans even more. Goldberg’s Spear and Lesnar’s F5 gained them two counts. Both argued the counts with special guest referee – ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. While Lesnar was distracted with Austin, Goldberg landed a Spear and a Jackhammer to put Lesnar away. A frustrated Lesnar flipped off the crowd and was summarily Stunned by Austin. ‘Stone Cold’ then did the same to Goldberg.

The highly-anticipated return of The Undertaker was in the end just a cruel joke. Fans who had waited months to see Mark Calloway reprise the ‘Dead Man’ persona that made him famous, were treated to him doing nothing more then Paul Bearer being at ringside and Calloway wearing a black cowboy hat and trench-coat over his ‘Biker Taker’ attire. All that ludicrous wardrobe did was make him look like a slightly younger and taller version of Terry Funk without the branding iron or lasso. To add insult to injury, the fraud of a ‘resurrection’ was followed by a recycled, humdrum match against his ‘brother’ Kane.

The next WWE pay-per-view is BackLash on April 18th

‘WWE WrestleMania XX’ Results

 

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