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Confusion reigns at Guilty as Charged

John Powell

 

Paul Heyman’s big surprise turned out not to be such a surprise at all. After haggling with ECW about his contract, searching out offers elsewhere and shooting an action flick, Rob Van Dam returned to the ECW roster at the Guilty As Charged pay-per-view. Not exactly a happening that will “change the face of ECW”. The troubled promotion still doesn’t have a television deal and as students of the game know without a television presence these days you’re behind the eight ball. I, myself, am finding it harder and harder to gear up for an ECW pay-per-view with their ability to produce the weekly hype and angles gone. The stress the company is under is taking a toll on their product as last night’s broadcast was as hard to follow as an Ahmed Johnson promo and contained more missed spots that you can swing a steel chair at.

The swerve in the three way main event for the ECW World Heavyweight Title between Steve Corino, Justin Credible and The Sandman was telegraphed earlier on when the man-beast Rhino went absolutely berserk on Swinger, Simon Diamond, Balls Mahoney and Chilly Willy. Rhino interfered in the middle of their contest goring everyone in sight including The Blue Boy (now Swinger’s manager) and valet Dawn Marie. Blue Boy’s main squeeze Jasmine St. Claire also felt Rhino’s wrath as he piledrived her off the top rope. As Rhino-vision continued he cut a promo slobbering his usual rage while smashing he head against lockers.

Onward to the main event in which the ECW championship belt was suspended high above the ring. All three men used ladders, chairs, tables and The Sandman’s cane against each other. Everyone took some harsh bumps but it was The Sandman suffering the most being thrown over the top rope twice through a table and falling off the ladder in such an awkward way that he bent it to hell as well as injured his knee during the trip down. Justin Credible was able to fight his way out of the Old School Expulsion to spike Steve Corino (who didn’t blade once during the match) with the That’s Incredible Tombstone Piledriver. Francine even got in on the action giving The Sandman a Hoochie-canrana (ECW’s name not mine) on the concrete floor.

Credible brought in a monster ladder into the ring just as a mysterious someone commandeered the controls and began raising the belt higher. In the commentator’s booth Cyrus denied Joey Styles’ charges that he was somehow behind it all. Corino and Credible slugged it out on top of the ladder until Credible bulldogged Corino off the ladder and through a table. As both men lay wasted, The Sandman climbed up and retrieved the belt winning the championship. ECW never fully explained why the belt was raised for Corino and Credible but not for The Sandman. You can safely rule out Ole Anderson as a suspect though.

Putting their differences aside Corino, Sandman and Credible shook hands just as The Baldies jumped them. Huh? Good sportsmanship in ECW? What’s this world coming to? Corino and Credible brawled with The Baldies to the locker room as Rhino made his big entrance, slipping as he gored Sandman. Rhino howled at Sandman on the house mike saying how could he be a television champion when ECW isn’t on television anymore? Good point. Then, get this, Rhino pointed Sandman’s family out in the crowd threatening to kill them unless he was immediately granted a title shot. Rather than risk seeing his family iced by football tackles, The Sandman agreed. A gore through a table, a piledriver off the ring apron through another table and a piledriver on the remnants of a broken table later and Rhino wins his first ECW World Heavyweight Championship.

Cyrus whooped it up with Rhino claiming ECW’s television and world titles had been unified. Speaking on Rhino’s behalf, Cyrus challenged anyone in the back to face Rhino. Out came…surprise, surprise, Rob Van Dam. Jerry Lynn attacked RVD from behind to start their impromptu match so Rhino could slip away without putting up his newly won title. Meanwhile, Justin Credible and Steve Corino made it known that they have buried the hatchet to form the new Impact Players.

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