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Stone Cold beats the odds

WWF president Vince McMahon loaded the dice against World Champ “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and still he rolled snake eyes.

In a conspiracy storyline worthy of Oliver Stone’s lens, McMahon inserted himself as the special main event referee at the In Your House: Over The Edge pay-per-view broadcast out of Milwaukee, WI., which had anti-establishment poster boy Steve Austin putting his title on the line against the psychedelic flower child born a few decades too late in Dude Love (Mick Foley).

McMahon tipped the scales even further by installing good buddies and WWF front office suits Gerald Brisco and Canada’s own Pat Patterson as the guest time keeper and special ring announcer. What McMahon and his cohorts didn’t factor into the equation was The Undertaker throwing a monkey wrench into their carefully crafted plan.

Volunteering as Austin’s back-up, The Undertaker stood watch over McMahon throughout the bout making doubly sure that he was the “unbiased and impartial” official he claimed to be. That didn’t stop McMahon though from altering the rules to suit Dude Love’s style making it first a no disqualification match and then a falls-count-anywhere encounter.

McMahon’s cohorts gushed over each other with grandiose ring introductions infuriating the crowd in attendance. Dude Love and McMahon hugged in the middle of the ring. Patterson called Austin “a beer-swilling fool” and “a foul mouthed punk” before dropping the mike and refusing to introduce the WWF champion whom he called a “bum”.

As McMahon was about to start the match, The Undertaker’s theme played and he walked slowly out to ringside. Austin gave the Man From The Dark Side a cat-like grin. Haymakers sent Dude Love’s false teeth flying. Austin stepped on them then threw them out to the crowd. An Irish whip sent Stone Cold crashing into the ringsteps. McMahon hovered over the champ yelling “Get back in the ring, Austin”.

Dude Love attempted a Mandible Claw but in shades of his 1994 match against Vader in which a similar maneuver tore his right ear completely off, Love was shoved by Austin into the ropes where his head was lodged between the top and second ropes.

Love choked Austin with a cable outside the ring. Austin hurled Love into Brisco sitting at his post as time keeper. Stone Cold laid the boots to a downed Brisco. McMahon conferred with Patterson. Patterson stated on the house mike that the match was now no disqualification bout.

Smash up derby time! Austin and Love battled back to a stage set resembling an auto wrecking yard. Dude Love caught Stone Cold with a neckbreaker on the concrete floor scoring a two count. McMahon had Patterson announce that falls-count-anywhere rules applied also.

Love side-stepped Austin backdropping him onto the hood of a car. Ramming the champ’s head into the hood gained him another two count. Austin front face slammed Love onto another vehicle setting up Love for the Stone Cold Stunner on the roof. Dude Love pushed Austin off the car to the floor below. Tail pipe in hand, Love wailed on Stone Cold’s back. His head repeatedly striking the twisted metal, Austin stood up blood trickling down his forehead.

Love miscalculated a flying elbow smash off the roof of a car. Austin kicked him all the way back to the ring. Stone Cold’s forehead struck an exposed turnbuckle twice. McMahon called for Patterson to hand him a steel chair. Love struck Austin twice DDTing him on the chair. Setting Austin up in the corner, Dude Love charged with the chair. In the nick of time, Stone Cold kicked the chair into Love’s head. Austin covered Love. McMahon refused to count the pinfall so the champ and McMahon argued. McMahon gave Austin a two finger salute.

Love swung the chair again missing Austin and clobbering McMahon. No referee to apply the three count, Stone Cold Stunned Dude Love. Another referee came out from the dressing room to count Love out. From outside the ring, Pat Patterson pulled the ref to the floor. As The Undertaker chokeslammed Patterson and Brisco through the announce tables, Dude Love applied the Mandible Claw. Austin fought off the submission hold Stunning Love a second time. Austin dropped McMahon’s limp hand three times and retained his heavyweight title.

The Undertaker cast Austin a stony stare as he headed backstage.

The next WWF pay-per-view is King Of The Ring on June 28th.

WWF In Your House: Over The Edge Results

L.O.D. 2000 Vs The Disciples Of Apocalypse

: Sunny and Puke accompany the Road Warriors to the ring. Chainz is with Skull and 8-Ball.
: At 4:17, Chainz attacks Hawk from the floor. Puke clocks him one.
: 8-Ball and Skull switch places. Puke catches Skull with a clothesline to the back of the head assisting the L.O.D. to a victory.

Winners: L.O.D. 2000 at 9 minutes and 57 seconds.

Match Rating: 7 / 10.


: The Rock conducts his own in-ring interview insulting the crowd. Faarooq Pearl Harbors The Rock. Maivia swings a chair at Faarooq who ducks. The chair bounces off the ropes clipping The Rock’s forehead. Faarooq piledrives The Rock on the steel chair.

: The Nation put a neck brace around The Rock’s neck and carry him back on a stretcher.


Jeff Jarrett Vs Steve Blackman

: Wearing sombreros, Al Snow and The Head take a seat at the Spanish announce team’s table.

: During the match, Sgt. Slaughter rules that The Rock must defend his Intercontinental Title versus Faarooq no matter if he is hurt or not.

: Blackman – the Jackie Chan wannabe – cheats and laces Jarrett with his kung fu stick. As Blackman climbs to the top rope, Tennessee Lee takes the kung fu stick and brains Blackman.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett at 10 minutes and 15 seconds.

Match Rating: 5 / 10.


Mark Mero Vs ?

: If Mero beats a wrestler of Sable’s choice, she must leave the WWF forever. If Sable’s wrestler wins, Mero must tear up the contract giving Sable her freedom.
: Sable is wearing her wrestling gear and says…”I don’t need a man to fight for me. If anyone’s gonna win my freedom…it’ll be me.”
: Mero sweet talks Sable, asks for the match to begin and lies down in the middle of the ring. Sable covers Mero. Mero quickly rolls her over for the pinfall.
: Mero says “Get the hell out of the WWF Sable” and begins a chant of “Hey. Hey. Hey. Goodbye.” Sable leaves teary-eyed. Boo. Hoo. Sniffle. Sniffle.
: Packing her bags, Sable thanks her fans for all their support and can’t believe Mero isunk so low”.

Winner: Marc Mero in approximately 15 or 20 seconds.

Match Rating: 0 / 10.


Kaientai Vs Taka Michinoku / Bradshaw

: Special added handicap tag match.
: Is there a Kaientai fan club? Where do I sign up? This trio rocks!
: Bradshaw chases Kaientai. Lawler says…”They’re running like Godzilla’s after them”.
: Taka hits the Driver. Kaientai interferes. Togo splatters Taka all over the canvass with a top rope bomb.

Winners: Kaientai at 9 minutes and 52 seconds.

Match Rating: 8 / 10.


Faarooq (challenger) Vs The Rock (champion) (Intercontinental Title Match)

: Slaughter orders The Rock to wrestle. If he doesn’t make the ten count, the belt will be awarded to Faarooq.
: The Rock enters with a neck brace on.
: Faarooq pulls off the brace and beats Maivia with it.
: The ref counts three but The Rock’s foot is on the ropes. Maivia leg sweeps Faarooq and uses the ropes as leverage for the victory. Faarooq piledrives Maivia twice.
: The Nation swarms Faarooq. DX makes the save. Why? Only God knows.

Winner: …and still The People’s Intercontinental Champion…The Rock at 5 minutes and 7 seconds.

Match Rating: 5 / 10.


Kane Vs Vader (Mask Vs Mask Match)

: Loser must unmask.
: Earl Hebner returns as a referee.
: At 6:07, Vader pummels Kane with a wrench. Vader misses a Vadersault from the top rope. Kane executes The Tombstone Piledriver. Kane tears off Vader’s mask and puts it on Paul Bearer who mocks Vader. Vader unmasked? Wow. Big deal. Like, we haven’t seen that before.
: Leaving the ring, Vader says in an interview…”I made the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe Vader time is over. I’m a piece of s–t. A big piece of s–t.” : What could it all mean?

Winner: Kane at 7 minutes and 20 seconds.

Match Rating: 2 / 10.


: The WWF honors Canadian Mad Dog Vachon and The Crusher. In a sickening display of which the WWF should be ashamed, Lawler rips Vachon’s artificial leg off. The Crusher belts him with it.


D-Generation X Vs The Nation

: Calgary’s own Owen Hart has a new look. Silver sunglasses and wrestling trunks with highway idanger” symbols on it.
: The crowd chants Owen sucks! Owen sucks!
: The Outlaws spike D-Lo on one of the tag team belts. Owen Pedigrees Triple H on the belt.

Winners: The Nation at a really bloated 18 minutes and 33 seconds .

Match Rating: 4 / 10.


“Stone Cold” Steve Austin (champion) Vs Dude Love (challenger) (WWF World Heavyweight Title Match)

Winner: …and still WWF World Heavyweight Champion..Steve Austin at 22 minutes and 27 seconds .

Match Rating: 10 / 10.


Total Event Time: 2 hours and 50 minutes.

Overall Event Rating7 / 10.

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