Crystal, chicanery, and The Condamned make their presence on ‘Heels’
Just when things look to be settled in the Duffy Wrestling League, it turns out Jack Spade has another Ace up his sleeve…specifically his brother with a new character concept. It’s another wild ride in the DWL on the latest episode of Heels, so let’s jump into the action.
The action picks up from last week as everyone is still left stunned by Ace’s new character as The Condamned. This has everyone up in arms backstage, especially the DWL roster who knew nothing of this last-minute rewrite. Diego is already in a mood as he tells Jack off:
“Don’t kayfabe the boys!”
This is your Heels PSA. As in life, so in pro wrestling.
That leads to Gully yelling at Jack for not running the finish with him as it affects his people being in the ring, and he wants this fixed so his FWD and himself get over. Gully doesn’t want to look bad, especially as he calls Ace’s new look, “Adam Ant meets The Hamburglar.”
Robble, robble, y’all.
Meanwhile, Crystal and Dorado talk briefly after she put over Crystal in the match to book her strong, and she’s off to the next town. Dorado says she’s got a good future in any promotion, and advises her to check for peepholes. Crystal visits her mom in jail and they talk about her things are progressing for her. That leads to other moments in the show as Willie suggests Crystal be sent to FWD to really take control of her own destiny, and suggests this as an opportunity. Bobby Pin is supportive of anything her girlfriend wants to do, and this may be something that gets tested.
Staci is getting more involved with DWL business as she inquires about the woman from the County car wanting money and Jack explains to less than her satisfaction. When she confronts Willie about the matter of paying a County woman (who we learn goes by Staci Tuckerman) in cash, Willie says that she and Tom Spade made an arrangement with her years ago to handle business in this fashion, and this is what keeps the DWL afloat for as long as it has. Then she gives this fantastic speech to Staci that explains Willie’s entire reason for being in the DWL and how she deals with things:
“There’s two kinds of women: there are women who get taken care of, you know? They emit some kind of soft vapor, people gather around, and take care of them. That’s you.
And then there’s me. I emit some kind of coal engine smoke; I get dirty and I fix s***. I stay up all night worrying about more dirty s*** I gotta fix. I fix s*** so you don’t have to spend a single second worrying about unfixed s***.*
Later, Will Bill and Diego get ready to do a podcast, and he notes that Diego is pouting. He tells off Will Bill for thinking of him as a gofer and helping to prop his “fragile ego.” Wild Bill takes it to heart, and as they record he changes the name to the “Wild Bill and Diego Cottonmouth Podcast” so that he is more of a peer, which makes Diego a little happier.
That culminates in Jack, Ace, Crystal, and Willie heading down to FWD to work on the cross-promotion and pitching an idea to Gully that will make everyone happy. During the show, Crystal works with Venus Cancer (Serena Deeb in a nice cameo), and she leaves midway through the match, only for Gully to head down with his FWD roster to make her an offer she can’t refuse; a contract plus a briefcase full of $100,000 in cash as a signing bonus. That brings down Jack who’s willing to fight by his side, but Crystal makes her own plans and hits Jack with the chair in a nice swerve and signs with FWD. As the roster beats down on Jack, Ace channels his inner Arrow/Sting moment on a zipline and, to the fans’ eyes, appears to beat down the FWD wrestlers before the lights go out and he and Jack disappear.
Ace and Jack hide under the ring happy with how the result turned out. Also, for any wrestler who has to stay under the ring like the Spade brothers do for an uncertain length of time, remember to use the bathroom beforehand.
As the show closes a man representing an agency called Continuum wants to showcase professional wrestling, and while he is there to scope out FWD, he talks to Willie about an offer as the show goes to the credits.
Like the episodes before, Heels has found a great formula with multiple storylines that manage to find its way to the squared circle at the end of the show. This was more fun with AJ Lee doing another turn, as well as Deeb and other wrestlers that I spied like Luke Hawx, Nick Aldis, and Aron Stevens showing up. But the writing is the real reason to see how things are shaping up in the DWL and beyond, and moments like the one Mary McCormack delivers as Willie showcase why this drama is more than just about the action in the squared circle.
As always, stick with SlamWrestling.net for future reviews and stories.
