WWE Smackdown: A ladder too high

Thomas Starr

Tonga Loa on the top of the ladder

Whether it is chairs or tables or kendo sticks or garbage cans, these No DQ, Anything Goes matches are so tired and accomplish little for the wrestlers. Yes, you will get a tired chant like “This is awesome!” but that should be the last thing you want. If you are over, the crowd is screaming for you or against you. If they are chanting for a table or to tell WWE management that they are into the spots, you have failed.

Having said that, if you are going to do a garbage ladder match why would you have a comedy garbage match earlier in the show? Not to mention the stupid spot of going through a table that was setup inside a dumpster. On replay, watch how close Chelsea’s head comes to the edge of the dumpster.

The other No DQ, Anything Goes match featured a spot even stupider and this was not the wrestlers’ idea. For the ladder match, someone hung the title belts too high. So, Tonga Loa had to stand on the top of the ladder to retrieve the belts. If he had fallen, which he was at a substantial risk of doing, he would have shattered a leg. That is incompetent.

This was trash TV. I would hope that 25 years later, the industry would have moved on from the Attitude Era nonsense. They have moved on from the language and smut, but not these weapons matches. Even worse, they make the matches into jokes. So, you have athletes out there hurting themselves for a joke. That is unprofessional.

Show Open

Someone named Hardy was in the ring to start the show. He is a country music singer, who dresses like a reclusive teenaged boy who happens to be a big Goon fan.

AJ Styles came out and said he wanted to rebuild his image. Carmelo Hayes interrupted and called AJ an “older timer.” They had a nice back and forth. Both had some good lines. AJ challenged Hayes to match at once. Hayes said no.

LA Knight came out sporting a new shirt with him crossing the Potomac. Classic. Then LA Knight made a match between Hayes and Styles. Okay. So, LA is GM now? I know he said he could convince Aldis, but he did not. So, how is he able to wiggle his nose and make this match?

AJ Styles vs. Carmelo Hayes

The announcers tried to cover by saying LA Knight talked to Aldis to make this match. When? In the break? A referee was sent out before the break. Whatever.

The announcers mentioned Styles’s history as not only a TNA champion, but an NWA champion. Is that the first time in at least 28 years that the NWA has been mentioned on WWE TV?

During a commercial break, the ringside doctor checked Styles’s ankle. They made a point to show it when they came back. Then they ended the match suddenly. Was that real? AJ walked off, but the way they stopped the match was so awkward.

Winner: Carmelo Hayes

Chelsea Green vs. Michin – Dumpster Match

I am at a loss here. They are really doing a dumpster match in 2024. Of course, it is no DQ, Anything Goes. They are having a second no DQ, Anything Goes match later too. Way to make it a joke, WWE.

Michin brought two kendo sticks in to start the match. Then, inexplicably, she gave Chelsea one of the sticks. Why?

Michin hit Chelsea with a baking sheet tray. Hit her right in the face with it. They are wasting these spots with two jobbers? I love Chelsea, but she loses most of her matches. The ones she wins are by fluke.

Chelsea put Michin into the dumpster, but it was a swerve, bro. You must close the lid to win. Maybe tell us before now?

They did the same spot that Wes Lee and Zachary Wentz did on Tuesday. Michin put a garbage can on Chelsea and did a senton on top of the can. Just stupid.

Piper Niven did a run in wearing a Hefty Bag or something similar.

Of course, we had to get that “holy s—t” chant so out came a table. Then these two jobbers did a table spot onto a table in the dumpster. Needless risk for a main event match let alone this.

Winner: Michin

Naomi was doing something backstage when Bianca and Jade walked up. Everyone was very annoying here. Bayley came in and promised Naomi a title shot, which she has not earned, after she beats Nia Jax. What a babyface move, giving your friend a title shot when she has not earned it.

Nine o’clock hour

Bayley called out Nia and Tiffany. The usual long, boring monologue. Bayley tried to cause issues between Nia and Tiffany. She said Tiffany was being talked down to and held down by Nia. Then later, she called Tiffany worthless. So, which is it?

There was a scuffle, and Bayley came out on top. Tiffany teased, again, cashing in the MiTB briefcase. The cash-in tease was the only thing the crowd popped for. That was boring and redundant.

Tiffany Stratton vs. Naomi

Naomi is a babyface but accepts an offer to a title shot she has not earned. Her friend is just giving it to her. Not to mention, her friend beat her last week.

Naomi started the match by botching a Thesz press, landing on Stratton’s knees, and then repeatedly punching the mat next to Stratton’s head.

Stratton is a high-level athlete with a ton of potential, but she loses here to a clumsy, awkward opponent.

Winner: Naomi

Jacob Fatu and the Bloodline walked in the back. Jacob did one of those walking promos that WWE has been using the last couple of months. That was the longest promo Jacob has done on TV, I believe. He was intense and believable. His worship of Solo adds an interesting dimension that the Tongans do not have.

The Tongans went to the ring. Why are Jacob and Solo staying in the back? It is No DQ, Anything Goes. Why not just come out and all four beat up the babyfaces? Better yet, drive a bus into the building and run over the opponents. I mean anything goes right?

The Street Profits vs. The Bloodline vs. DIY – WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match

The champion heels are facing two babyface teams. That is bad psychology. Of course, the two babyface teams double team the heels to start the match. Way to get sympathy on the heels, guys.

Everyone did dives at one point, Dawkins looked like he may have fallen on his head. The crowd did a momentary “This is awesome!” chant, so I guess these guys will think it was worth it. Feed the vampires, guys.

They continued to have the babyfaces team up on the heels. Including Montez Ford forgoing a chance to climb the ladder and, you know, win, to splash the Bloodline.

The four babyfaces climbed the ladder and fought each other only to be quelled by the valiant heels. They looked like such goofs.

To make it even worse, someone hung the titles too high. Just like AEW did a few years ago when Powerhouse Hobbs had to get on the top rung and risk a disaster, WWE hung the titles too high, and Tonga Loa had to get on the top rung. Unprofessional in every way.

Winner: Bloodline

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