What a tremendous time it is to be a WWE fan. Not only did the company announce that WrestleMania will soon be held somewhere North American fans can only attend at great expense and with considerable extra travel time, but there’s a new Premium Live Event coming up this weekend that millions of fans will need to pay for unless new broadcast partner ESPN quickly hashes out some deals. As the Fallout Boy song says, “What a Time To Be Alive.”
But just like that song means it both literally and ironically, we do here too. Because while the money talks-style business moves can be irritating, the weekly programming often remains compelling, and tonight’s episode of WWE Raw, coming our way an hour earlier than normal, sounds like it may fit that description.
For starters, the show is live from Springfield, Mass., which is not exactly right down the road from John Cena’s hometown of West Newbury, but close enough we can safely say this is Cena Country. His problem might be if a certain Beast Incarnate followed him over to Raw, which we will find out shortly.
Another segment that promises to be fun is a showdown between WWE’s two power couples. CM Punk and AJ Lee have been a step ahead so far, but Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch are devious and determined to stay on top. In the ring, we can look forward to Lyra Valkyria vs. Roxanne Perez, Penta vs. Kofi Kingston, and Dragon Lee vs. El Grande Americano.
Perhaps thinking that people who tune in at 7 don’t watch every week, we kick off the evening with a lengthy recap of last week’s show. Hey, we did that too, when it happened, and told you all about the ongoing issues between Jey Uso and LA Knight. The two of them get into it again tonight, but Adam Pearce is having none of it and summons both of them to his office or else they will be asking their accountants why there are zeroes missing from their paychecks.
The last time (in Springfield) is now for John Cena
“Man, what an incredible, incredible night it is tonight.” says Cena after the cheers calm down enough for him to talk. He lets the young fans know he played football at Springfield College back in the day and goes into a humorous description of life as an offensive lineman, noting that he has friends, former teammates and family in the house tonight.
Cena says he needs moments like this one because he has a “pretty tall hill to climb.” He talks about the “last real champion” part of his current ring intro and how Lesnar wants to end that part of him forever. Cena calls Lesnar “damn near invincible” and inspires a profane chant that ends up getting bleeped out.
Applying real life logic to pro wrestling, Cena wonders why he didn’t just say no to Lesnar’s challenge. He could just go play backstage politics and the only person who would be upset would be Lesnar, after all. Saying no is safe, it’s easy, but acknowledging the thank you chants that ring out, he says that is the reason he says yes.
To Cena, being the last real champion means leaving WWE better than when he arrived, as well as never taking your ball and going home. He admits being afraid of Brock and that he could fail, but he will not back down or give up. “We will take the fight to the Beast, because that is what we do.”
Cena calls out a sign that says his jorts are stronger than Brock’s jeans and vows to prove in Saturday.
Back to Pearce’s office we go as he tries to settle down Jey Uso and Knight. LA says he wants a piece of the Brons, but Pearce asks him who his partner will be. He thinks and says, “Jimmy Uso.” Interesting, no? Yeah!
Lyra Valkyria vs. Roxanne Perez
There are a couple things going against Lyra here, including damage to her lower back and the presence of Raquel Rodriguez at ringside. The latter becomes a self-correcting problem when the ref sees Raquel lending an active hand and sends her to the back. The former not so much, as Perez yanks her legs out on the top rope and slams her back first onto the canvas. That looked painful.
But Valkyria is nothing if not persistent, and she guts through her pain to eventually set up Perez for the Nightwing, using that to secure the win.
Winner by pinfall: Lyra Valkyria
The problem with the bell ringing is that Raquel can come right back. She does and it’s two on one against poor Lyra. Who comes to her rescue? It’s Bayley, who has no problem taking out both of the Judgment Day wrestlers. How will Lyra react? Hesitantly, to say the least, so Bayley heads to the announce table to hug Joe Tessitore, Corey Graves and pretty much everyone else. Looks like we are going to see every era of Bayley mashed up in her current persona, which could be intriguing.
Pearce’s office sees him oversee the contract signing between Ito Sky and Stephanie Vaquer. The Kabuki Warriors, as they are wont to do, spoil the moment, which in this case includes Asuka booking her partner Kairi Sane to face Vaquer tonight. What are friends for?
Knight heads to the locker room to explain to Jimmy Uso why he picked him as his partner. Looks like Jimmy is not accepting his offer to team up.
Kofi Kingston vs. Penta
It doesn’t take long for Penta to take to the air, much to the chagrin of the onlooking Grayson Waller. Kingston responds in kind pretty quickly, using his Anthony Edwards 1s to leap into a splash on the floor.
Penta embarks on a lengthy chain of offense punctuated by a super loud chop to the chest, eventually settling into a crowd-pleasing exchange of strikes. After a brief try by Waller to interfere, Penta launches into a springboard Mexican Destroyer to win it.
Winner: Penta by pinfall
Jey Uso is on the phone with someone (Roman Reigns?) but won’t tell Jimmy who it is. Jey tells Jimmy he has to say no to LA, which clearly doesn’t sit well with his brother, who warns Jey to stop giving orders and change his tone. “The last time I checked, there ain’t no ula fala around your neck,” says Jimmy after revealing he already said no, but just before he storms out.
After a commercial break, Jimmy finds Knight and says he’s in.
Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch show off some reverse-reverse psychology to CM Punk and AJ Lee
Seth Rollins is so upset about the reception he and Becky Lynch that he won’t even say the name of the “stupid little town” and instead welcomes the viewing audience on Netflix to Monday Night Rollins. He also demands respect for Lynch, which only spurs the fans into an “AJ Lee” chant.
Lynch has a lot to say about Lee but would rather say it to her face, so she and CM Punk oblige and head to the ring as well. “Hello everybody, I am AJ’s husband,” Punk says, a phrase the crowd enjoys. He mocks the other couple’s clothes and wonders if they can put their egos aside to be a unified tag team. That’s rich, Rollins says, calling Punk the most selfish human being he has ever met.
Though Rollins gives Punk credit for marrying Lee, he says inserting her into this feud is a mistake that he will regret for the rest of his days. Lee says she wouldn’t have returned if Seth wouldn’t have used Becky as a human shield; Lynch fires back by wondering how Lee’s neck feels now. How will Punk feel when The Man is pummeling Lee’s face in? She’s not an asset, says Becky, but a liability.
Lee admits that she doesn’t know how her neck will hold up on Saturday. But it’s not her neck Becky should be worried about, it’s her unpredictability. Rollins scoffs at that, adding that Punk has a tendency to leave things when they let him down. So when Lynch rips her to shreds, she better hope he doesn’t leave her too.
Lee smacks Rollins, who tries to get Becky to attack AJ. She feigns being upset and leaving, but it’s all a ruse: When Punk leaves the ring to chase Rollins, Lynch returns to the ring to nail Lee with a Manhandle Slam, then slaps Punk for good measure. That’s one more for the good guys, as Scott Hall might say when he actually meant the bad guys got one over.
Highlights show Dominik Mysterio becoming AAA Mega Champion, now dubbing himself the Mega Intercontinental Champion. His interview with Byron Saxton is interrupted by sounds of struggle, which turn out to be the New Day assaulting Penta in the back.
El Grande Americano vs. Dragon Lee
Americano aggressively seizes control of the action early, but Lee responds quickly and ends up hurling himself out toward the announce table with a breathtaking dive. Now that is how you lead into a commercial break.
Lee has some more cool stuff in store, plus he’s the rare face looking to unmask another masked wrestler. A second Americano gets in a kick, and the way Tessitore reacts, he must not know that has been a pretty frequent occurrence. AJ Styles comes out to handle that second Americano, but he’s not ready for the third.
That proves to be one too many, giving the main one the opening he needs to submit Lee.
Winner: El Grande Americano by submission
Lyra goes looking for Bayley but is perplexed by the sounds of argument coming from inside her locker room since no one else is in there. She ends up timidly thanking Bayley but is blown back by a fiery response that includes calling her an idiot.
Elsewhere, Rhea Ripley wishes Vaquer good luck against Sky and says she will be coming for the title if Stephanie wins it, which doesn’t seem to bother Vaquer.
Stephanie Vaquer vs. Kairi Sane
Graves feels this might be a chance for Sane to “get some intel” and report back to Sky ahead of Iyo’s match with Stephanie at Wrestlepalooza. He also points out how Vaquer is no stranger to championships in various promotions before joining WWE.
Asuka does not like the show of respect shown by Sane to her opponent, and we know Kairi will listen to the orders from the Empress. Sane tries to slide under her foe and powerbomb Vaquer from the apron to the floor, but all that gets Kairi is a double stomp to the chest for her efforts.
Sane has another rally in her, but this figures to be going Vaquer’s way unless maybe Asuka interferes. Kairi’s double stomp in the corner is on target but not sufficient to end the match.
The Devil’s Kiss might be the most over single move in wrestling right now, and that ends up being the setup to Vaquer closing it out.
Winner: Stephanie Vaquer by pinfall
Asuka wants to attack Vaquer after the match, Sky comes down to prevent it, and much yelling in Japanese follows. Sky and Vaquer end up staring each other down before shaking hands.
We hear from Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed, who say The Usos were the greatest tag team ever, until now. Tonight, the Brons plan on giving everyone a taste of what will happen at Wrestlepalooza.
Iyo and Asuka keep arguing in two languages in the back as Kairi tries in vain to hold her partner back. Eventually, Asuka walks off still screaming, with Kairi following shortly behind.
Dom wants to celebrate in The Judgment Day clubhouse, but Finn Balor is still a little upset about El Grande Americano. JD McDonagh is calmer but still demands to know what Americano might want in return. Mysterio says they will calm down and return, but he may have bigger problems as Rusev arrives and introduces himself as the next Intercontinental Champion.
LA Knight and Jimmy Uso vs. Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed
Graves makes a good comment about how people like Knight see the possibility of a Bloodline-like group in The Vision and want to squash it before it gets to that point. Logical, though the current Rollins story has kind of blunted that momentum since he isn’t with his group.
The fans are digging this one right from the start, cheering on Big Jim and offering plenty of “yeah” chants when Knight gets in his offense. Jimmy shows he can still take to the sky when necessary, and Knight gets to run wild after receiving a hot tag.
LA seems to have an answer for everything the Brons throw at him, and his top rope elbow sets up an Uso Splash that forces Breakker to save Reed from a pinfall. Breakker also has the last word, showing up when it’s most needed and allowing Reed to use the Jagged Edge to put away Jimmy.
Winners: Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed by pinfall
We aren’t quite done here, as Breakker lines up Jimmy for a huge spear after the bell. But that brings Jey to the ring, wielding a steel chair and not afraid to use it. The fans love seeing Jey and greet him with yeets for his effort, but as he checks on Jimmy, Knight approaches from behind with the chair. When Jey turns around, LA tosses the chair aside. Jey extends his hand, and LA ends up accepting the handshake. But it’s only temporary, as Knight hits Jey with a BFT to end the show as Tessitore notes “that receipt just went to the next level. See you next week everyone, again at 7 p.m. ET.
