WWE Raw: A sloppy, boring show

Thomas Starr

Drew threatens Wade on Raw.

WWE presented two segments that fans should go out of their way to see. The tops of the hour at 9 pm and 10 pm featured Gunther and Drew McIntyre, respectively. They continued the build to Gunther vs. Sami Zayn by including Bret Hart. Drew McIntyre teased getting physical with his friend Wade Barrett as Drew continues to descend into madness.

Those segments were fantastic, but the rest of the show was boring and sloppy. The matches were embarrassing for the first two hours.

The only other worthwhile segment was the tribute to hockey player Johnny Gaudreau. That was very classy.

This is what happens when a former wrestler is stuck with a boring group.
This is what happens when a former wrestler is stuck with a boring group.

Start of the show

Raw is live in Calgary. Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett are standing by the ring instead of at the announce desk. They introduce the show. It is an interesting visual departure.

WWE airs a video package explaining the Wyatt – American Made feud. Somehow, I am more confused, and I watch these shows.

The kendo sticks are back. Yay. Ivy Nile has warpaint on, Gable has an American flag, and they all have t-shirts that look like the old G.I. Joe logo.

The Wyatt Sicks vs. American Made – Yet another street fight

This is match twenty-six in their best of two hundred series. Seriously, how long is this feud going to last? The Wyatts have beaten American Made repeatedly for a month now. American Made has not gotten any heat on this group. At this point, The Wyatts are just a bunch of bullies. They have dominated American Made. What is the point of this continuing?

This group has the same problems Bray’s last run had. No one gets heat on them, and they act like heels even though they are babyfaces. Plus, they do a spooky entrance that defies logic. Remember when they debuted by killing the backstage personnel? Now, Adam Pearce uses them as punishment for American Made.

Chad Gable signed a new contract and has been buried. His feud with the rest of the Alpha Academy was just heating up and WWE sidelined him with this nonsense. I would say the Creeds and Ivy Nile were also buried, but how do you bury wrestlers who show up randomly and always lose?

This is a mess. Eight-person street fights are just random moves put together. They manage to get the fire extinguisher spot wrong. It is a babyface spot. Yet they have Ivy Nile do that spot.

The only good thing about this match is that I know I will not see a syringe stuck into someone’s mouth.

In the worst spot of the match, Joe Gacy put a garbage can over his head and stuck his arms straight up into the top of the can. The garbage can barely stay on him. Then American Made hits the can with kendo sticks repeatedly, except you can tell they were nowhere near Gacy’s head.

So, the babyface Wyatts need Uncle Howdy to give them the five on four advantage to win the match. American Made has lost again. Are we done now? Tessitore said Uncle Howdy had had enough. Enough of what?

Sloppy, stupid, and repetitive.

Winners: The Wyatts again.

On this commercial-free first hour, we have a commercial.

Tessitore just called The Wyatts “wildly entertaining.” No.

Finn Balor comes out with new graphics. His name appears as FXXX. His music is terrible. FXXX emotes about his feelings and calls out Damien Priest. Priest says he has been trying to get his hands on Balor since he turned on him. FXXX is standing right there. Grab him. Hit him. Do something.

After all that, the cameras miss Priest punching Balor. Judgement Day attack Priest. Well, sort of. They miss everything they threw at him. Rhea comes out on crutches to help Priest. Are we serious?

The heels get the better of the babyfaces until Jey Uso gets done with catering and runs out. Another sloppy, boring segment.

Braun Strowman does a promo backstage. He sounds like he is a heavy smoker. I also cannot tell if he has a nose ring or a big booger.

Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill vs. Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn – Women’s Tag Titles

WWE has done such a poor job with Fyre and Dawn. I am still not sure which is which. Neither seems good in the ring, but if you are going to feature them in TV matches at least try.

I was not aware that Isla and Alba have a tag team name, Unholy Union. It is a good name, but why do they have that name? What does it mean to them? How does it fit their gimmick? I need WWE to explain it to me.

Whoever decided Jade should be working with Isla and Alba should be fired. Jade is still learning in the ring and wrestling Alba and Isla does nothing to help her.

Bianca and Jade won a sloppy, boring squash that was short, but not short enough.

Winners: Bianca and Jade

The LWO meets up with Judgement Day backstage. Some talking happens and FXXX is facing Rey later.

In this commercial-free first hour, we have our second set of commercials.

Bret Hart returns

Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett introduce Bret Hart. The crowd explodes. I hope he takes a shot at Goldberg and mentions the Montreal Screw job.

Tessitore is staring awkwardly at Bret and blinking over and over.

Bret talks about how great Canadian wrestlers are. He has a point. Gunther interrupts. Oh boy. He has more heat now than he has in his entire career.

Gunther tells Bret that he is his second favorite wrestler of all-time. He says his first favorite is Bill Goldberg. I am crying with laughter.

Sami Zayn comes out to defend Bret. He challenges Gunther to a title match. Gunther’s smug faces are great here. He tells Sami no.

Bret calls Gunther a coward. Gunther goes to confront Bret, but Sami gets in his way and gets the better of Gunther.

Tessitore tells us Zayn is wearing a Johnny Gaudreau jersey. He has been in the ring for 10 minutes and now he points out his jersey.

That was a fantastic segment.

Dominik Mysterio vs. Dragon Lee

The best Tessitore can do to describe Dragon Lee is “hard-working.” Yes, his career is not going so well.

Dominik and Liv are my favorite part of Raw. They are both so annoying and slimy. I do not know how we have something as bad as The Wyatts on the same show as Dom and Liv.

Tessitore said he has been watching Dragon Lee’s development. He has been wrestling for over a decade, Joe. He is still throwing those phantom punches that all the kids are doing these days.

Dom wins with an assist from Liv. The right finish to a boring, sloppy match.

Winner: Dominik Mysterio

Bianca and Jade run into Iyo and Kairi. Things are said.

WWE is doing a tribute to Johnny Gaudreau. “Johnny Hockey” died alongside his brother while they were riding their bikes. It is suspected that a drunk driver hit them. Jackie Redmond, a big hockey fan, is holding back tears while discussing Gaudreau. Redmond has also worked for the NHL for several years. She mentions having interviewed Gaudreau. This was classy and extremely sad.

Pure Fusion Collective vs. Lyra Valkyria, Zelina Vega, and Natalya

Pure Fusion Collective is a terrible name, but not as bad as Fatal Influence. Lyra and Zelina have a mystery partner. Who could it be?

In the ring, Sonya Deville is mocking Zelina and Lyra. They are building up this mystery partner. And it is Natalya. Uh, okay. Am I the only one disappointed?

The heels are getting heat throughout the picture-in-picture. They come back to the regular broadcast and Shayna Baszler puts Zelina on her shoulders. Zelina falls off Shayna’s shoulders and crashes to the floor. Baszler, inexplicably, falls into the ring apron like Zelina gave her a move. Then Shayna sells the move that was not given to her. That was so bad.

The babyfaces win with Sharpshooters.

Winners: Natalya, Zelina, and Lyra

Drew McIntyre is making his way through the backstage area. He comes across Otis and the Alpha Academy. Otis pulls faces while holding a Calgary Flames custom WWE belt. Why? Why do they do that comedy scene with Drew? Stupid.

Drew McIntyre Segment

It is a small detail, but Wade Barrett is explaining that he used to be on Drew’s side. Last week, Wade said Drew went too far. That is a terrific way to sell the intensity of this feud.

Drew says he ended Punk’s career. He echoes Punk’s promo from last week where he said he was moving on. McIntyre turns his attention to Wade Barrett. He asks why Wade would step in his way when he was about to finish off Punk. Drew promises, if Wade Barrett does it again, he will do something about it.

Adam Pearce interrupts before Wade and Drew get into it. Pearce says Punk is not done. He announces Punk vs. McIntyre at Bad Blood. Hell in a Cell.

That was fantastic. This feud deserved a trilogy and Hell in a Cell was earned. And no one had to burn someone’s childhood home.

FXXX vs. Rey Mysterio

I have never been so glad to see FXXX and Rey. The wrestling has been so bad tonight, it is a relief to have two professionals out here. Mysterio was tied up in the ropes while putting a leg lock on him. He held onto it, passed the five counts, and was disqualified.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Pete Dunne vs. Braun Strowman vs. Jey Uso vs. Ilja Dragunov – #1 Contender to IC Title

Bronson Reed made a surprise return and splashed Strowman through the announce table. Jey Uso won with a splash off the top rope.

Winner: Jey Uso

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