With No Mercy’s main event of Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman having a “Big Four” WWE PPV feel to it. Both men have been established as neigh unkillible forces of nature, a la King Kong vs. Godzilla, where one is going to hit one bigger move for the win. Instead, we get a no-call from the referee in an easily avoidable situation that changes the complexion of the match midway through and cheapens the eventual outcome.
WWE No Mercy comes to us live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.
It’s been quite a while since a single challenger looked like he could take out Brock Lesnar in a one-on-one match and prove that Suplex City is nothing more than a catchphrase to put on a t-shirt. Tonight’s main event features WWE Universal Champion “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar vs. “The Monster Amongst Men” Braun Strowman. The question is simply if Braun can monsterhandle Brock with the title on the line.
Main Event: Singles match for the WWE Universal Championship – Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar (c)
The answer is both yes and no. All of Brocks title matches in this reign have been very short. I don’t think any of the singles matches have been more than eight minutes, including this one. And in case you’re wondering, this is a recap, move-for-move of the entire main event.
Brock rushes Braun and Strowman pushes him back into the turnbuckle. Brock chuckles and goes for another takedown. Braun tosses Brock. Brock goes for a German Suplex, but Braun just gets up instantly, hits a chokeslam and goes for a running powerslam for a two-count.
Somewhere during that exchange Braun got cut just under his left eye. It’s bleeding, but just barely. Braun continues to overpower Brock. Lesnar goes for an F5 but his back gives out. Braun tosses Lesnar out of the ring and goes after him, driving Brock’s back into the ringpost. Michael Cole reminds us that Brock has hit two moves: a suplex and a right hand.
The Monster continues to maul the Beast. Brock escapes an attack at the turnbuckle but Braun is so thick, his shoulders get caught in the ropes, not allowing him to hit the post behind it.
No normally I continue to give a detailed report, but this next sequences is questionable at best. Brock uses the few moments he has to catch his breath and jump on Braun to lock in the Kamura. The problem is that Braun is holding himself up on the ropes. It’s obvious and everyone can see it. It takes Lesnar about 30 seconds to actually get the hold really sunk in and finally putting Braun down on the mat. Braun struggles to reach the bottom rope, and finally does. The ref this time calls for a break, but why didn’t he do that when Braun did it twice when he was standing and only called this when Braun’s face was on the mat?
Both men struggle to their feet and Brock hits five consecutive Germans. Each one takes a bit out of each man as both struggle to get up after each one. Brock goes for an F5 for the second time, but Braun counters into another running powerslam. Braun can’t get a cover as he’s favoring that arm that was in the Kamura for longer than should have been. Braun goes for another running powerslam but only gets a two count.
Braun goes for another slam, but Brock counters into an F5 and gets a quick pin to retain.
Winner…and STILL Universal Champion Brock Lesnar
Match 1: Singles for the Intercontinental Championship – The Miz (c) w/ the Miztourage vs. Jason Jordan
Miz comes out with his cronies, but not Maryse, and Jason comes out alone. Jordan gets to demonstrate his power early on, including an impressive delayed vertical suplex, forcing Miz to get crafty. The Miztourage surrounds Jordan when he goes outside the ring following Miz for a second, but is simply there to distract him, as Miz clocks Jordan once he gets back in the ring.
Miz gets some offense in including a DDT that he gets a two-count. Miz goes to work as the crowd chants “Who’s your daddy?”. Jordan gains the upper hand and hits Miz with a top rope clothesline, but can’t get the pin.
Miz goes for his YES! kicks, but Jordan catches the last one and turns it into a suplex. The crowd really isn’t liking Jordan as they start the “You Suck!” chants a la Kurt Angle’s entrance music.
Jordan continues to wear down Miz by hitting suplex after suplex. Miz goes outside to regroup but Jordan kicks Miz through the ropes, grabs Bo Dallas and suplexes Dallas onto Miz and Curtis Axel. Jordan gets Miz back in the ring and locks on a crossface. Miz makes it to the ropes. Jordan goes for a turnbuckle splash, but Miz tosses him into the ringpost.
Jordan makes it to his feet first and tosses Miz around again. This time he hits a spear on Miz and the straps come down. Jordan hits another suplex, and Bo Dallas gets on the top rope. Jordan tosses Dallas off the rope and goes to cover Miz, but the ref is getting Dallas out of the ring while Miz is covered. Miz kicks out, sending Jason to the ropes where Axel clocks him with I think a straight punch. That stuns Jordan, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the three-count.
Winner…and STILL Intercontinental Champion The Miz.
Match: 2/5
As Miz celebrates at the top of the entrance, Jordan gets interviewed. He says he’s disappointed that he couldn’t overcome both Miz and his goons. He says he still doesn’t respect Miz and thinks he sucks.
Match 2: Singles Man-To-Man – Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor
This set-up feels like it’s been going in reverse, but whatever. Finn comes into the ring second. He makes the mistake of taking his eyes off Bray, who attacks him before Finn can even get his jacket off. The mugging spills out to the announce table. Bray finally leaves Finn alone and gets in the ring. Balor is holding his left side as the refs come to check on him. Bray gets a microphone and starts to taunt Finn as he is being accompanied to the back.
Bray continues to taunt Finn, saying he’s not even a man, he’s a coward. That’s enough for Finn as he strips off the jacket and charges toward the ring and we’re finally underway. Finn gets a couple of shots in, but Bray wisely decides to use moves that target Balor’s mid-section.
Finn continues to get sporadic offense in, but Bray seems to always get the better of the exchanges. The fight spills to the exterior of the ring apron and Bray slams Finn’s shoulder into the apron and then pushes Finn back in the ring. Bray goes back to work on Finn.
Finn finally gets the upper hand when he traps Bray inside the apron a la Fit Finlay and kicks Bray in the face. Finn smashes Bray into the announce table and then gets him inside the ring. Finn climbs the ropes, looking for a Coup de Grace, but Wyatt does his crab move kip-up which freezes Finn for a moment. Finn composes himself, goes for a flying something but Bray dodges it. Finn hits a slingblade, but Bray then hits a urinagi and a running senton.
The two exchange some punches and Bray goes for Sister Abagail but Finn counters it. Finn goes up to the top rope again but Bray beats him to it. The two fight near the top of the rope but Finn pushes him back, get atop the ropes and hits the Coup de Grace to the back of Bray’s neck. That gets a two-count.
Finn goes for his 1916 finisher, but it gets countered. Bray suplexes throws Finn not once, but twice. Bray gets to the second turnbuckle and admires his handiwork. That’s a mistake as Finn get up and gets Wyatt off the turnbuckle and hits him with two running drop kicks. Finn climbs the top rope, hits the Coup de Grace, and gets the three for the duke.
Winner by pinfall…Finn Balor
Match: 2/5
We get our first real promo of the night with the announcement of Asuka. We start with a shot of her mask and a quote from Sun Tzu, “Put yourself into a position which makes defeat impossible, and do not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.”
And yes, the package makes it seem like she could legitimately beat down Brock Lesnar. She will debut at TLC on October 22. That’s a Raw PPV, in case you were wondering. Hate to say it, but that 30 second promo is technically the best thing that’s been on the show thus far.
Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship – Shield Lite (Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) (c) vs. The Bar (Sheamus and Cesaro)
Before the match we get a quick interview with The Bar. It’s a standard one, saying they’re a real team, while Ambrose and Rollins are still getting used to each other again after such a long layoff.
Going to be honest, a lot of crazy stuff happens at the beginning, but the thing that truly matters to start the match is when Cesaro gets see-sawed into the turnbuckle by Dean Ambrose, which causes the Swiss Superman to lose what looks like his two front teeth, at least.
This becomes noticible when he eats a kick, causing his mouth to bleed ridiculously from the mouth and the ref has to break out the gloves. You get to see the replay, and it looks disgusting.
Cesaro tags out at that point and Sheamus gets some offense in, but can’t pin Rollins. This causes Cesaro to come out and argue with the ref, but the ref just tells Cesaro to go back to his post, which he does. This lets Seth recover a bit and side step a spear by Sheamus. Dean gets the tag and goes to work on Sheamus, including a suicide dive outside.
Mass confusion ensues and Cesaro finally gets Ambrose alone in the ring. He locks in a sharpshooter and when that doesn’t work, he locks on a crossface. Dean gets to the rope and the Bar hits a double slam on Ambrose. It looks like they’ve won as Cesaro perfectly knocks down Rollins attempting a breakup attempt, but Dean kicks out in time without help. Wow.
We get another ridiculous pinfall attempt. Sheamus goes for White Noise on Ambrose. Rollins tries to sunset slip Cesaro for the breakup, but Cesaro muscles out of it and after White Noise is hit, Rollins is powerbombed, from the second rope, onto Ambrose. Cesaro goes for the pin and SOMEHOW Dean kicks out. WOW!
Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick but Ambrose collapses before the kick is delivered. Sheamus goes for the pin, Ambrose goes for a quick pin but it’s countered. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick but nails Cesaro, allowing Seth and Ambrose hit a combination of King’s Landing and Dirty Deads for the win.
Winners…and STILL Raw Tag Team Champions Ambrose and Rollins
Rating: 4.5/5
Match 4: Five-Way match for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship – Bayley vs. Emma vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss (c)
Bayley, Sasha and Emma knock Nia Jax and Alexa out of the ring and Bayley and Sasha knock Emma out. Now Bayley and Sasha face off. Nia gets back in the ring, throws Banks into the barricade and hits a spinebuster on Emma. Nia goes for a cover but Alexa prevents it.
Alexa goes for a DDT, but Nia prevents it and starts to squash Alexa. She channels her inner John Cena, picking up both Alexa and Sasha on her shoulders to hit a double Samoan drop. Bayley prevents the pinfall. Bayley locks in a guillotine on Nia. Nia gets taken to the ropes and three women gang up to toss Nia out of the ring. Emma and Alexa use Sasha as a battering ram to hit Bayley. Now Emma and Alexa square off.
Nia returns and tries to suplex Emma out of the ring. Emma slides under Nia and her and Bayley try to powerslam Nia onto the floor. That doesn’t work until Sasha and Alexa hit stereo kicks on Nia and all four women are finally able to take Nia out. She crumples like an accordion in that move. I hope she’s okay because that looked painful.
We get a lot of quick pin attempts. Basically, everyone not named Nia Jax gets a chance at a pin a few times over. Then Nia returns to the ring and starts wrecking shop. She has a chance at a pin with a leg drop on Sasha but it’s broken up. Alexa suckers and sidesteps Nia into the corner and hits a DDT on Bayley for the victory.
Winner…and STILL Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss
Match Rating: 3.5/5
We get a recap promo of our next match.
Match 5: Singles – John Cena vs. Roman Reigns
During Cena’s entrance, Michael Cole informs us that Cena has 93 PPV victories during his tenure in WWE. He trails the Undertaker by one win in the all-time rankings.
So this match is going to end one of two ways. John Cena will hit his 5 Moves of Doom or Roman Reigns will hit several Superman Punches and finish Cena off with a Spear or two.
It ends up being the later. These guys kill each other for about 22 minutes. Near minute 20, Roman goes for a Superman Punch but gets caught up and Cena hits not one, but two AA’s in a row. Roman barely kicks out at 2.9 and Cena yells at the ref, not believing that wasn’t enough. This allows Roman to compose himself, hit the punch and then spear Cena for the win.
Winner by pinfall…Roman Reigns.
Match rating: 3/5
So now Roman has bested the Undertaker at WrestleMania and John Cena in the span of five or six months. After the match, Cena raises Roman’s hand and Roman leaves the ring. John soaks up the adulation as he prepares to film Transformers 58 or whatever number they’re currently shooting. Before he goes, he heads to the front row to hug a kid and the announce team now says that this was Roman’s biggest win of his career.
We get a nice commercial for WWE 2K18 with Snoop Dogg providing the lyrics.
Miz comes backstage where Kurt is on the phone and trolls the Raw GM. He says he wants to have Miz TV tomorrow and interview Roman. Miz lists the reasons I just did above and hints that he wants to talk about a possible Shield reunion as well. Kurt says fine and that Miz will “open the show”.
Singles match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship – Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore
Enzo of course gets his words in. He says Neville is the ugliest cruiserweight in the division. Says he looks like Golum and Frodo’s love child. Enzo also says he’s going to take King Neville’s “Queen”, the title, and show it a better time. He then calls Neville a “Kebler Elf-Looking Schmuck” As someone who does understand Yiddish, that was something I actually laughed at.
This one starts as you would expect it to. Neville gets a ton of offense and Enzo’s best moves are him either reaching the rope to force a break or jumping away from a leg sweep, only to get nailed right afterwards and then sent out of the ring.
The match goes on technically too long, as Neville simply beats on Enzo but doesn’t go for a pin, but it’s not that Enzo provides much resistance. Enzo gets back into the ring at the count of 9 and Neville continues to go to work. Enzo gets tossed out again, but skins the cat to stay in the ring. This earns him a superkick to the face and a two count. The crowd is chanting “This is boring!” Neville goes up for Red Arrow, tells the crowd they aren’t worth it and goes for a Phoenix Splash that misses.
Enzo goes top rope and hits a DDG but it too tired to get a cover for a moment, this allows Neville to kick out and when Enzo goes for a dive outside, Neville catches him with a kick to the face. Neville tosses Enzo into the pit where the bellkeeper is. Enzo grabs the title and the ref stops counting for some reason as Neville doesn’t go outside to break the count.
Enzo comes in the ring still holding the belt. The ref says to give the belt to him or he will DQ Enzo. Enzo complies and when the ref’s back is turned putting away the title, Enzo kicks Neville in the groin and gets the pinfall victory. We now live in a world where Jinder Mahal is WWE Champion and Enzo Amore is WWE Cruiserweight Champion. Hell has officially frozen over folks.
Winner…and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore
Match rating: 1/5.
Main event match rating: 2/5
No Mercy overall rating: 2.5/5
No post-match interview or anything after the main event. We get a quick recap and then see Lesnar and Heyman walking back to the backstage. The saving grace was Heyman shaking his head a few times after looking back at Braun, essentially saying Brock was lucky to survive that one.
Matthew Asher is the sports editor for the Kirksville Daily Express in Kirksville, Missouri. He doesn’t have anything clever to say after this one and is probably going to need a few weeks off pro wrestling coverage as it’s Homecoming Week here and he’s got a ton of high school sports to cover in a 300-mile radius. Email him your thoughts on all things pro wrestling related at at matthew.c.asher@gmail.com.
