TNA Impact: All-star team turns the champs into chumps

Bob Kapur

TNA Impact: All-star team turns the champs into chumps

It was the biggest tag team match in TNA history on Thursday night, as a team comprised of every one of the company’s champions took on a team of eight all-stars. But, defying the immortal words of Freddie Mercury, there was indeed time for losers. Because that’s exactly what happened to the champions when Joe Hendry led his all-star team to victory. Whether this will have future implications in the form of title shots for Hendry and his fellow winners remains to be seen. But even if it was a one-off, the match was still a fun and exciting main event.

Match 1: Ash By Elegance vs. Xia Brookside

If Ash wins tonight, she gets back her bejeweled knuckles that had been taken from her previously. Ash tried to get the referee replaced with her stooge George Iceman, but nobody was buying what they were selling.

During the match, Ash would get in some offense, but then would get too cocky, allowing Xia to get a flurry of offense in – including a nice Suplex on the floor, and then a Cross Body Press from the apron to the floor. Xia was looking to put Ash away, but the stooge grabbed her leg from the floor. When Xia went to confront him, Ash capitalized with a big Stunner. She then hit Rarified Air to get the pin and win back her weapon.

Ash demanded that Xia personally hand over the rings to Ash – and she did, by putting them on and knocking out Ash with a punch.

The match was fine. The post-match antics should be enough to close this chapter, but we’ll see if they keep it going.

Winner: Ash By Elegance

Rosemary cut a pre-taped promo, saying that she was all alone now, as it seems Havok has been written off TV. She name-checked Taya Valkyrie and the Bunny, and said that they had also left her. And without those three keeping her grounded, Rosemary is now unleashed to do anything. Looks like this could be a heel turn for Rosemary, or at least going back to her dark persona. Should be fun.

Director of Authority Santino Marella went into KUSHIDA’s locker room to check in on his health. KUSHIDA said he was feeling sick last week, but he’s better now.

Match 2: Alan Angels vs. Leon Slater

This one started off fast and furious, with Leon getting the first big moves of the match with a Handspring Elbow and then a big dive to the floor. But Angels was able to tie up Slater in the ropes and take over.

The referee, who’d had a small coughing fit earlier in the match, then rolled to the floor. There, he started coughing again, this time coughing up some kind of black inky substance. The commentators noted that he had refereed Jonathan Gresham’s match last week.

Other refs ran down to check up on him, and a different ref took over officiating the match. Angles hit a series of Half-Nelson Suplexes, but Slater capitalized with a huge Boot to the Head. Slater hit a Swanton 450-Splash for the pin.

After the match, Kon stomped his way down to the ramp and climbed into the ring. He grabbed Angels from behind and wrenched his neck hard. Slater confronted Kon, and nearly got the same treatment, but was able to wriggle free and boot Kon out of the ring. Angry, Kon grabbed one of the security personnel and wrenched his neck, leaving him for dead.

The ink spot took a lot of the focus away from the match, which is a shame, because what they did show was pretty good. Kon and Angels feuding as heels seems weird, though.

Winner: Leon Slater

Jake Something interview

Interviewer Gabby LaSpisa called Jake Something to the entrance stage. She asked him what his last name meant. Jake explained that back in the day, everyone told him he would never amount to anything. But now he’s something. Gabby tried to follow up, but Something got offended. He got angry, saying Gabby is mocking him because he’s lost a couple of matches recently – and then he blamed Cody Deaner for the last loss, saying Cody wasn’t supposed to be there anyway.

Deaner came out to the ramp to try to calm down Jake. Cody explained that he and Jake were cousins. And he said that Jake had proven everyone who doubted him in the past were wrong. Cody told Jake that he had the fans’ support and his support. Jake questioned that, saying that Deaner had abandoned him in the past to join Violent By Design. Deaner apologized for having done that.

Deaner said that he had gone down a wrong path when he did that. But now he’s worried that Jake is going down a similar path. He said that no matter what, Jake will always be a Deaner. Jake said “The Hell I will” and hit Deaner with a huge Clothesline, laying him out.

This was okay. Something is not a particularly dynamic personality, but he did okay here. Gabby’s performance was pretty lousy, as it seemed like she was smirking and trying to hold back laughs even while Something was yelling at her and she should have seemed intimidated.

They showed the match from last week where Speedball Mountain (“Speedball” Mike Bailey and Trent Seven) beat ABC (Ace Austin and Chris Bey). The winning team will face each other next week, with the winner of that match earning the right to face Mustafa Ali for the X-Division Championship at Against All Odds on June 14th.

Cut to backstage, where Gia Miller interviewed Speedball Mountain. They robotically talked to each other in a way-too-scripted manner and then shook hands in the spirit of friendly competition.

Match 3: Frankie Kazarian vs. Steve Maclin

This is a weird dynamic as both of these guys are heels (Maclin seems to be in the middle of a turn, but he’s not fully there yet, and the crowd doesn’t react to him like one). Kaz tried to be a bigger one by demanding announcer Jade Chung remind everyone that he is the King of TNA. After she did, Maclin dumped him over the rope with a big Clothesline, taking us to an ad break.

Back to live action, and the two were engaging in a hard-hitting battle. Maclin hit a Scud Missle (i.e. a Torpedo Dive from the ring to the floor). Kaz avoided Crosshairs, leading to a punch-up on the apron that Kaz won after a rake of Maclin’s eyes. He followed that up by sending Maclin hard to the floor after a Back Body Drop.

Maclin fired back with a huge Knee and then a Flying Headbutt. He tried to finish things, but the wily Kaz was able to lock on a Chicken Wing that sapped the strength of Maclin. Kaz went for the Flux Capacitor but Maclin blocked it, and was able to maneuver Frankie into position for the Crosshairs. He charged in to hit it, but was distracted by Trey Miguel who ran down to ringside for exactly that purpose. As the ref went out to eject Miguel, Wentz slid into the ring and spray-painted Maclin right in the eyes. Kaz then hit Fade to Black on Maclin, and had him down when the referee returned to the ring to count the fall.

The crowd seemed dead for this and still a bit confused as to how to react to Maclin. The match was very good while it lasted.

Winner: Frankie Kazarian

In a room decorated like a forest glade, Gail Kim was speaking with Gisele Shaw, trying to console Shaw, who was sad after losing her Knockouts Title to Jordynne Grace. Kim offered to help Shaw re-find herself and her self-confidence. Gail said she would be Gisele’s guiding hand. “And where are you guiding me”” Gisele asked. Gail answered “Home” and took her hand.

Mike Santana interview

Tom Hannifan’s sit-down interview with Santana continued. Santana said that he had spent so much time helping others in the past few years, that he had not focused on himself. He said that he was inspired by his daughter to go to rehab, get sober, and get his life back.

He said that he learned that you have to fight for yourself, and he did that. That was what led him to ask for his release (they didn’t mention AEW by name), and find his way back to TNA. He said that his return at Rebellion, where he beat Steve Maclin, was exactly the kind of fight he was looking for to help make a statement.

He said that he is ready to take on anyone – and to take their spot. He ended by saying he’s ready to go.

AJ Francis and Rich Swann were in a luxury box. They said that they were looking to win titles, because titles equate to money.

Match 4: “Broken” Matt Hardy, Ryan Nemeth, Dani Luna, Jody Threat, Joe Hendry, Eric Young, Sami Callihan, and Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace, Mustafa Ali, Masha Slamovich, Laredo Kid, and The System (Moose, Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers, and Alisha Edwards)

One side of this match featured every TNA Champion, hence it being called the Champions’ Challenge Match. It’s also the largest tag team match in TNA history. It’s also the third match on this show where the traditional face-heel dynamic was thrown out the window, as each team featured a mix of both alignments (in D&D speak).

The announcers pointed out that there were three referees assigned to the match, two of them on the floor watching for shenanigans in each corner.

Early on, the ring filled up with all the participants squaring off and the refs in there, too, to try to restore order. A big brawl took us to a commercial break.

When we returned, things had settled down and the match was contested like a standard tag match, with one person from each team in the ring. Though, only two partners at a time were allowed to stand on the apron in the corner to be eligible for the tag – the others had to stand on the floor and were not able to be tagged in.

The women, in various pairings, were in the ring, with action going back and forth for some time.

After the last break of the night, Nemeth and Ali were going at it, with Nemeth impressing with some big moves on the X-Division Champ, until he was distracted by some interference by The System. Moose, Eddie, and Myers then took turns beating up Nemeth.

In doing so, they kept ignoring Ali’s request to tag in. This frustrated Ali, and after one snub too many, he told the announcers he was officially withdrawing from the match; he grabbed his belt and headed to the back in frustration.

After Myers turned his back on him to taunt the crowd, Nemeth hit him with a Zig-Zag and then made it to his corner to tag in Matt Hardy. Hardy went after Moose and hit him with several big moves, looking to “Delete!” the World Champ. More System shenanigans resulted in Moose being saved before Hardy could hit the Twist of Fate.

The action picked up after that, with Sami getting a huge response when he caught Eddie jumping off the ropes with a huge Forearm to the face. Sami then dropped Eddie and Myers in a double-move before tagging in Hendry who was on fire – and had the crowd on fire, too. He nearly put Myers away with a Powerbomb, but Myers’ team broke up the count.

This led to a 15-person brawl both inside the ring and out on the floor, with everyone fighting each other. This saw a series of aerial assaults from both teams, including a dive by Grace on Callihan, a Springboard Press by Young onto Eddie on the floor, a Moonsault from the top to the floor by Laredo Kid onto everyone, and a huge Somersault Dive by Threat onto everyone who was left. This was a great sequence.

That left Joe Hendry alone in the ring with Eddie Edwards and Brian Myers. Hendry was able to overcome the odds, dispatch Edwards, and hit Myers with the Standing Ovation for the 1-2-3.

This was a fun main event. Even with all the bodies in the ring, it never really felt unwieldy, had a good flow, and never felt like it dragged even though it went on for nearly 30 minutes. The last few minutes were exciting, and the series of high dives got he crowd into this more than they had been into anything else on the show.

Winners: “Broken” Matt Hardy, Ryan Nemeth, Dani Luna, Jody Threat, Joe Hendry, Eric Young, Sami Callihan, and Steph DeLander

As Hendry and his team celebrated, and the lights went out. When they turned back on, PCO’s entrance video played and the monster made his entrance, carrying a black bag.

He entered the ring and set his sights on Steph DeLander. As her teammates looked on in confusion, he reached into the bag, dumped out some miscellaneous weapons and random junk, and then finally pulled out a black flower. He offered it to DeLander, who – after some initial confusion and wariness – accepted it with a shy smile. A smitten PCO smiled back at her as the show came to a close.

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