You know what I realized with LP? He’s one of those individuals who say literally anything just to be annoying, but he genuinely thinks his words have the kind of important weight he mistakenly believes they do. He sprouts words after words, yet all I’m hearing is a bunch of ear-gritting noise, the most antagonizing one. Close to nails on a chalkboard. Why won’t he ever shut up? The fact that they chose to start the evening with this pest is a malicious move. Whoever thought it was a good idea to allow such blasphemy to enter this house clearly didn’t care about the negative response it was going to get.
Any press is good press, as they would say, however, this one is granting people the leeway they needed to look at this industry with a stink eye, finally. Anyway, a couple of minutes of Logan’s meaninglessness later, John Cena came out and disrupted the self-appointed disruptor with some more undying wisdom. I choked when Cena brought up that word again, Thuganomics. Oof…. I hated that in the past, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
Since Logan adores it when he calls himself a god-breaking influencer to this company, Cena countered with surprising news. Yesterday on Thursday, he saw a list of the top 25 influencers in the world. And low and behold, Paul’s name was nowhere to be found. Ha! Love it. Cena really is a word slasher on the mic.
A Tag Team Championship match was meant to take place in the right way, but Chelsea Green and Alba Fyre attacked the champs prior to their fight. Charlotte Flair was hurt because of that, so Bliss and Green went one-on-one with Alexa winning in the end. Following the victory, Alexa was assaulted in a two-on-one ambush. Even with the pain, Flair limbed her way back to the stage to help her partner. It didn’t matter though, since Flair and Bliss wounded up beaten.
And speaking of beaten and battered, Aleister Black and Damian Priest have been giving each other hell since locking eyes. Black threatened to expose Damian for being “misguided and hollow”. As a reply, Priest said he’ll be smiling for every laceration he inflicts on Black at Clash in Paris.
I’m sure James made that entrance of hers very long, so it would blind our minds from the quick victory Michin scored from her opponent. Kiana attempted to use her purse as a weapon, Michin ducked out of the way, rolled James up and won. Case closed. Now, she has a Championship opportunity against Giulia for the Women’s US title. The girls were not pleased, so they ganged up on Michin after the bell.
As things continue to heat up between Orton and McIntyre, Randy revealed that he attacked Drew last week because he thinks the Scottish Warrior is a prick. This had nothing to do with Cody Rhodes as I marginally thought. The comment irritated Drew, so he delivered a Glasgow Kiss to Randy, dropping him instantly. You can imagine what happened next. Skull on mat.
The Street Profits vs. Melo Don’t Miz – Tag Team Championship Number One Contender’s match
Bo Dallas has been playing some mind games backstage with the two potential teams vining for the Tag Team Championships. The foreboding atmosphere he disposed of into the air had to be set aside as the match begins.
Dawkins and Hayes were breathlessly on their knees as they crawl to their partners to tag in. Ford and Miz pick up the pace as Montez achieved a massive crossbody from the top. He dropped Carmelo on the apron for good measure. Miz made a comeback by kicking Angelo through the ropes before returning his attention towards Montez. He nearly pinned Ford after that DDT.
Just as Miz was looking for the Skull Crashing Finale, Hayes tagged himself in, to which commentary believed was payback. Ford didn’t see the exchange being made as he continued to assault Miz. Thinking he’s got it won, Montez body splashed Miz only for Carmelo to plummet on top of him from the other corner. It was close.
Ford whipped out Hayes as he was coming off the middle rope, exhausting himself in the process. Miz was eager to get back in the fight, yet Uncle Howdy and friends appeared out of nowhere to stare into Miz’s soul. A cutback to when they were embroiled together at some point during a clash between the Wyatt Sicks and the Final Testament. Once Dawkins was tagged in, he bulldozed Miz off the apron as he and Ford team up to plant Hayes in successful Revelation.
Winners: The Street Profits
Backstage, Jade Cargill shocked Tiffany Stratton with news that she’s the number one contender for the WWE Women’s Championship. Cargill simply wanted Stratton to be aware that this fantasy they were ever on the same level will die once that belt is snatched by the challenger.
Solo Sikoa (c) vs. Sami Zayn – US Championship match
The champ was taken down by a flying Sami Zayn above the ropes. Zayn was looking to quickly pounce on Sikoa after that move, but Solo had the referee distracted while Tonga Loa and JC Mateo did everything they could to harm Sami from behind. Once they shoved him back inside the ring, Sikoa caught Sami with the Spinning Solo.
It was very sweet of him to help, but Jimmy was on the losing end of Mateo and Loa’s feet. Luckily, the Samoan Werewolf swooped in to take on Talla Tonga from the timekeeper’s area. Sami came very close to winning after that Blue Thunderbomb, but Solo kicked out. We’ve still got a brawl going on at ringside.
Zayn has been defenseless for a number of minutes as Solo had Sami on his shoulders while standing on the second rope. Fortunately, Sami slipped through and delivered a sunset flip to Sikoa. He came close again.
Sami took a bit too long at the top, which allowed Solo to return to a vertical base and plant his challenger with the Samoan Drop. Zayn remained in the game despite the painful body splash he endured. Later on, Sikoa tried to block Sami’s Exploder and failed. He may have fallen to the Super Kick, but Sami was able to perform two winning Helluva Kicks. Yay!
Winner: Sami Zayn
TOP PHOTO: Zayn and Uso celebrating. Courtesy of WWE
