Ooh, the chills of WrestleMania weekend looming is for sure showing on all our faces coming tomorrow and Sunday. This is the most I’ve ever been excited for Mania given the jaw-dropping, mind-exploding matches we’re going to get this year.
As we open the night, the host of the KO Show welcomes us to a special edition segment. It’s labelled as “special” because he’ll be sharing the ring with a legend in Randy Orton. Owens, Orton and Paul have a Triple Threat match for the U.S. Championship on Sunday, but we’ll have a chat prior to their Mania meeting.
Kevin asks Randy on a scale from 1 to 10, how repulsed he finds Logan? If he asked me, ten wouldn’t be satisfactory enough to describe how much I loathe the man. The scale wouldn’t be able to contain it. Orton says that Logan is an 11. Still high, I suppose.
The pleasantries were going great, but Logan just had to insert himself in the chatroom through the screen foolishly believing that he’ll retain. If he does, you all know what’s going to happen…
Anyway, Owens and Orton thought exactly what we were all thinking as they venture across the street to where the WrestleMania stage is currently standing. I don’t know why, but whatever trap Austin Theory and Grayson Waller were trying to set, they were slightly off. Ha! So, they attempt to catch up to them.
Randy angrily tries to open the door to a white car, but fails. Luckily, Owens zooms in a golf cart. Waller and Theory are seen running after them like silly ducks. Ha! Ha!
Andre the Giant Battle Royale Memorial match
We have competitors like Pretty Deadly, Bronson Reed, Ricochet, Cameron Grimes, Alpha Academy, Omos, The O.C., Judgment Day, LWO, Indus Sher, Cedric Alexander, the Creed Brothers participating in this Memorial match.
At the start of the match, Pretty Deadly attempt to lift Omos up, and what an idiotic thing to do. They thought everyone was going to join in, but they left them to be snatched, planted and thrown over the ropes. Well… Elton Prince eliminated himself. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Both Humberto and Angel get launched out by the LWO. We weren’t paying attention, but Cameron Grimes got chucked out hard against the floor. Jinder Mahal hilariously loses as well. Ha! There goes Apollo Crews and Indus Sher.
Bobby Lashley won last year, so I’m wondering who’s going to take the title this time. My eyes widened when I witnessed Omos lift JD McDonagh high up in the air then slams him against the mat. Oof…
During the break, Omos got eliminated by the Creed Brothers while trying to get rid of them in the process, which later erupted into a brawl outside the ring. Cedric Alexander and Joaquin Wilde are out, too.
Ha! Ashante Thee Adonis as well like some kind of whiplash. Back inside the ring, Ivar and Bronson collide in the middle. What came as an annoyance was how JD got involved in eliminating Ricochet from the main floor. Ricochet is left stunned, fortunately, Akira Tozawa delivers a final kick to JD’s jaw. Yay!
Tozawa is found squashed by two behemoths named Ivar and Bronson Reed. Otis was doing well, but he also met a quick ending. Tozawa landed very badly on Otis after getting eliminated by Ivar.
Ivar and Reed are the two remaining players. The Viking misses with a Moonsault while Bronson caught him with a rolling Senton then delivers a winning clothesline.
Winner: Bronson Reed
Last Monday this week, the heavy beatdown Seth Rollins and Cody Rhodes got from The Bloodline was brutal to watch. However, although I was horrified, part of me was also laughing. Not at them, mind you, I… just laughed.
For some reason, Logan Paul was seen backstage rooming around because while everyone else went right, he went left. On a more ominous note, The Final Testament explain that they went after Lashley to teach him a lesson in humility. On Night Two, they’re going to engage in a Philly Street Fight versus The Street Profits and Lashley.
Now, back to Logan Paul… if we must. He loves to think he outsmarted Owens and Orton earlier by orchestrating an ambush by his associates, Waller and Theory. His voice is so goddamn condescending and irritating to hear that I still don’t understand why he’s here. Just… why?? Everything that comes out of his mouth is literally “What??”
Aren’t you tired of yourself, man?
Anyway, while Waller and Theory are seen searching for Orton and Owens knowing they followed them across the street, they couldn’t fathom where they were. I’m happy to say that Kevin and Randy popped out from under the ring surrounding Logan.
The devious look on my face when I saw them resurface. Logan tried to make a run for it, but Owens and Orton clocked his ass. All Wade Barrett wondered about is how did Randy and Kevin end up under the ring. “Is there a tunnel?” Ha! We can go investigate if you want. Take a field trip. It’ll be fun!
Backstage, Dragon Lee is found hurt and laying on the floor with Carlito at his side. We’re not sure who did this, but Lito reckons it has to be Santos Escobar. Zelina Vega has a match coming up, but she was worried about Lee.
Zelina Vega vs. Elektra Lopez
Ah, the match I wanted to see. Lopez versus Vega, but not without surprises. Andrade and Dominik Mysterio are seen walking with Elektra and Santos. Andrade has been chatting with Dom for a couple of weeks now, so naturally, they’ll be aligned. But, I’m not holding my breath. In order to get to where you truly want to go, one has to hide their deeply rooted distain towards the person they know they’re skillfully manipulating. Use them up, then throw them away.
Elektra momentarily had Zelina in a choke hold in the center of the ring. Vega was able to escape and fight back. That didn’t stop Lopez from going forward with force. Zelina continues to build a little momentum and offense against Elektra during this match.
Lopez makes a comeback, as much as one could see, as she plants Zelina for a near fall I hoped for. Later on, Vega delivers a 619 to Elektra’s sheens to prevent her from climbing the ropes. God knows what she was going to do…
Vega spikes Lopez with a DDT while glancing at Andrade that could have ended this fight in her favor, but Dom’s distraction paused it from happening. Zelina rightfully slaps him then Rey Mysterio trips him up.
I’m sure that DDT mirrored Andrade’s maneuver given their NXT days. Unfortunately, Lopez gains a victory with the Elektra Shock. While celebrating, Dom and Santos couldn’t help themselves as they attack Rey. Lopez forces Zelina to watch.
Just when the fans thought Andrade aligned himself with Escobar and Mysterio, he decides to dispose of them instead as I predicted. Santos and Dom were too eager to have Andrade join in the beating. Vega and Andrade are hugging affectionately now.
Winner: Elektra Lopez
Jade Cargill, Naomi and Bianca Belair have a message for Damage Control on the eve of the Show of the Immortals. During my absence last Friday, I heard that Belair and Naomi were once again victimized by Damage Control hence the arrival of Cargill.
This turned into a WrestleMania match where Naomi, Bianca and Jade will face Damage Control on Saturday. I like the union of these three women. “The Big Three,” is what Cargill called them. “Asuka, Kairi, Dakota. You are now in the eye of the storm.”
Elsewhere, Main Event Jey Uso is now in your city, Philly, to fight his little brother Solo Sikoa later tonight. Also, a medical update on Dragon Lee’s condition is that he isn’t cleared for tomorrow, so Andrade steps in. A little opportunistic, isn’t it?
New Catch Republic vs. Austin Theory & Grayson Waller – Tag Team match
Theory and Dunne start this match as Pete twists his opponent’s arm, but Austin retaliates with a sneaky big left hand dropping the Bruiser weight. Once Bate is tagged in, he delivers some savagery on Theory’s stomach.
While Bate had Waller on his shoulder for the hellish spinning, Theory grabs ahold of his ankle. So, Dunne tries to dispose of him. Dunne received a massive blow to the jaw as he leaped from inside the ring. Dear God… the clapping sound.
A unique offence from the Aussie Icon as he delivers a tornado DDT to Bate off the apron. Now, Waller and Theory are controlling this match. A little miscommunication delayed a potential winning cover over Bate. Waller noticed that.
Look at the power of Tyler as he lifts Waller for an amazing suplex. Bate manages to tag Dunne while Grayson wasn’t able to reach Austin. Pete squashes both men one after another before focusing his attention towards Waller. He gets interrupted by Theory later on.
Grayson connects with a knee to Bate’s jaw then a quick jab, but he gets flattened by Dunne once he returns inside the ring. The New Catch Republic perform a victorious Birminghammer. That doesn’t matter anymore since Judgment Day descend on Dunne, Bate, Waller and Theory trying to handle everyone involved in the 6-Pack Ladder match for the Undisputed Tag Team Championships.
Hmm. At least they waited till after the match ended to intervene.
Winners: New Catch Republic
I must say the only significant thing about LA Knight’s segment is that he choked on his chewing gum while speaking in the microphone about stomping AJ Styles in a highly personal match this weekend. Ha! Ha! Ha! The “arboourgh” sound you hear is him momentarily choking… It caught me off guard, and seems like him as well.
WrestleMania begins on Saturday with matches like Rhea Ripley defending her Women’s World Championship against The Man Becky Lynch. The longest Intercontinental Champion Gunther faces off versus Sami Zayn. A twin versus twin fight between Jey and Jimmy Uso. Belair, Naomi and Cargill versus Damage Control. A 6-Pack Ladder match for the Undisputed Tag Team Championships. The team of Rey Mysterio and Andrade go against Santos Escobar and Dominik Mysterio. And finally, the biggest tag team match in the history of this entertainment, Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins versus The Rock and Roman Reigns.
On Night Two, Seth Rollins defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Drew McIntyre. The WWE Women’s Champion Iyo Sky faces Bayley. A 6-Man Philly Street Fight with The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley facing The Final Testament. U.S. Champion Logan Paul enters a Triple Threat match for the title against Randy Orton and Kevin Owens. LA Knight and AJ Styles meet in the ring. And lastly, Roman Reigns defends his Undisputed Championship against an angry and determined Cody Rhodes.
Jey Uso vs. Solo Sikoa
At the beginning of the match, Jey wanted to show some sportsmanship towards Solo, but he was having none of that. Jey had to defend himself regardless when the blows kept coming.
Just as Jey charges at Solo after flipping him over the ropes, he gets caught by Sikoa’s right hand to the jaw. The way Jey slid off the ropes, he looked like a slug. Ha! Sikoa inflicts more pain by driving Jey into the apron.
The brutality of Solo’s clubbing blows to Jey’s head almost seemed a bit too violent, if you ask me. When Barrett said that the little brother who grew up meaner and stronger than the rest of his siblings mirrors Sikoa perfectly.
Fortunately, Jey moves out of the way once a hip toss came flying towards him. Solo collides with the turnbuckles. Jey regains his vertical base and fights back despite the low energy in him. Sikoa chucks Jey in the air, but Jey Jey was able to get his footing.
As Jey lines his brother up, Solo beats him to it with a Samoan Drop. Sikoa had Jey positioned for the Samoan Spike, but Jey was able to retaliate with two Super Kicks followed by a spear.
I’m sure Jey would have won after that Uso splash, but Jimmy Jim just had to stop it from happening. Jimmy restrains Jey, so Solo could deliver the Samoan Spike. Hold up, though. The American Nightmare’s theme music starts playing as he and Seth Rollins are seen running towards the stage.
Rhodes whips Jimmy and Solo with the same belt he was whipped with by The Rock and Roman earlier this week. Quite frankly, I feel like that would have been a lot more satisfying if it hit Roman, or The Rock’s flesh.
Jimmy literally runs away, but Jey is able to catch him as the audience chant “Whoop that Trick!” Ha! Sikoa is already gone at this point. I saw him walking away.
Rollins whips Jimmy then Jey delivers an Uso splash to close this interaction and the ambush. Rhodes narrates what’s going to happen during his and Seth’s Tag Team match tomorrow plus his desire to dethrone Roman on Sunday.
Have fun, everyone! Save me some Skittles…
Winner: No one
TOP PHOTO: Cody, Jey and Seth standing in the ring. Courtesy of WWE
